Question about locker rooms for single moms of boys - Page 4

[Freedom~Mama]

This is a very interesting topic and something I hadn't thought of before. First off I am thinking that women who do not have sons might feel more uncomfortable than women that have sons? I don't have boys and although I wouldn't feel super uncomfortable with a 6 year old boy in the locker room I can understand that someone else might. Second off my girls (esp. my oldest) are both at ages where they get very embarrassed with people seeing them naked...and if there was a 6 year old boy in the locker room I know they would not feel comfortable at all and I might feel a little frustrated to not be able to have them change/shower etc. out in the open. I totally get though that if you have your son with you, obviously you can't go into the mens room with him and you don't feel comfortable having him go alone so really what can you do? This is why I think every gym/pool should have a family locker room in addition to mens and womens locker rooms so we don't have to worry about things like this.

[cycle]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

This question comes up frequently. It always comes down to moms of boys saying, well, if YOUR DAUGHTER feels too modest to change in front of a boy, something is wrong with her/how she is being raised, go hide in the corner.

My opinion is that if a mom of a boy over kindergarten age should bring her child to a discreet area of the locker room to change and try to get in and out swiftly. It should not be the onus of women or girls (who belong there) to go out of their way to avoid the boys. I absolutely believe that someone who speaks up with their discomfort should be respected.

I was not talking about how the girls feel, I totally understand and respect that and would/do take my son into a discreet area if there are girls in the locker room. I am talking about the adults in these situations. I do think that a grown woman needs to get her feelings in check if she feels a 6 year old may be leering at her in a locker room.

[Rainbow2911]

My 7 year old son comes into the women's changing rooms with me and I've never even thought about it. The showers are all communal and open to the pool any way so that isn't an issue. And there are cubicals with doors for any one worried about privacy (usually just teenage girls use these). I wouldn't think to send him off on his own for a while yet - not through any fear of danger - mostly just because I know how long it would take him to change without me there to remind him to put his clothes on rather than stare at the wall or count the floor tiles or something!
As far as I know there isn't any rule about age in our local pool and there are other boys about his age in the changing room. I thought that up to about 10 would be ok and after that I'll just have to shout at him through the door of the mens changing room! I know our local supermarket has signs on the doors that children under 11 are not to use the toilets unaccompanied and this seemed a fairly sensible policy to me.

[Momily]

At age 6 there were times and places where I let DS go into a locker room or a bathroom alone, and times and places when I didn't -- it mostly had to do with gut feeling, who else was there, how many exits, etc . . .

However, I wouldn't have had my kid showering, or lingering. When I did take my 6 year old through the ladies locker room we went straight through, maybe stopping in a toilet stall to peel off his clothing and mine (which were over our suits) or quickly put them back on. We didn't go into the locker area where other women were changing, or into the showers, just zipped on through to minimize other people's discomfort.

I teach my child to listen to his gut, to protect his privacy, and to stand up for himself. If I don't also teach him to respect other people's right to privacy I think that's a very mixed message.