Did I overreact? - Page 5

[2xy]

My older DS might have done something similar at that age. But if I had tried to leash him, he would have just sat on the ground and refused to move.

Of course, he did the same thing when he was 18 mos. old and I tried to use a harness on him in LAX airport.

[eclipse]

Well, I could totally see my 9 year old throwing a fit and running off ahead because he was mad. (And, ftr, he's been a run away-er since he learned to walk. He did use a toddler "leash" when he was little!) What I could NOT see is considering it a safety issue if he did. I'd be upset with him, but I wouldn't worry for his safety. Like others here, I can't imagine being able to physically get something like that on a non-compliant child the size of my son. We'd both probably end up getting hurt, and then he'd plop himself down on the ground and refuse to budge until I took the flipping thing off.

[mamaduck]

I have 13 and 9 yo sons. The scenario makes no sense to me.

1) I could not catch my 9 yo. if he ran off. He's faster than I am. Even if I were in better shape than I am, I'd not be able to catch him with a 3 yo. in tow.

2) If he was not listening to my directions about staying reasonably close and walking with me, he would certainly not submit to having a harness put on him. He would fight it. I cannot physically fight my nine year old. I'd have to be willing to really hurt him in order to do more than simply restrain him. If he was cooperative enough to submit to having the harness put on, then he was cooperative enough not to need it.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

If he was cooperative enough to submit to having the harness put on, then he was cooperative enough not to need it.

Yes. Well said.

[11yearslater]

Originally Posted by hsmamato2

I don't think she owes the kid an apology. In fact,IMHO the kid owes her an apology,for putting her in the position of even having to consider doing what she did.

I agree. I also wouldn't be too worried about the child feeling humiliated and ashamed. I don't believe we should intentionally set out to shame/humiliate children, but it is good for them to learn that when you act in a shameful way, you end up feeling ashamed and sometimes acting stupidly has the natural consequence of you end up humiliated.

I have an eleven year old son. I can't imagine him acting like this at any age. But at nine? If he did that to me at 9, he had better hope that some DR diagnosed him with a neuro disorder of some kind, or he would be in big, big trouble and getting leashed would be the least of his problems.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by 11yearslater

...but it is good for them to learn that when you act in a shameful way, you end up feeling ashamed and sometimes acting stupidly has the natural consequence of you end up humiliated.

If my nine year old ran off like that, apparently over not getting an ice cream, I'd be worried about what was really going on with him/her, to be honest. I also think calling it "shameful" is a bit over the top.

I have an eleven year old son. I can't imagine him acting like this at any age. But at nine? If he did that to me at 9, he had better hope that some DR diagnosed him with a neuro disorder of some kind, or he would be in big, big trouble and getting leashed would be the least of his problems.

Seriously? What on earth would you do to him if being leashed would be the "least" of his problems? Leashing a nine year old is pretty major.

I really, really doubt this was about ice cream, no matter what it looked like...but, if it is, then this boy would seem to have some genuine issues with impulse control, delayed gratification, etc. Humiliating him won't fix that.

[Kreeblim]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

If he was cooperative enough to submit to having the harness put on, then he was cooperative enough not to need it.