WEEKLY RAMBLE/CHAT for FEB 15th - FEB 21st

[ithappened]

Name:

Baby's age:

Milestones/Updates:

Thoughts:

[evinmom]

Name: Di Linh & Everett

Baby's age: 11 weeks on Tuesday

Milestones/Updates: Everett recognizes people's faces and his favorite songs. His face lights up when he recognizes something. He coos and smiles A LOT now. I think he's going to be a talker just like my other two. I'm starting to have signs my fertility may be returning soon. I am kinda bummed as I was hoping to go much longer this time without AF returning. I've been practicing ecological bfing and pumping upwards of 100-140 oz of milk a week for donation. I guess the silver lining is being able to chart again and ditch the condoms (which both DH and I really detest).

Thoughts: I can't believe that my baby will be 3 months old in a couple of weeks. The 3rd time around seems to be passing even faster than the other two times. Our whole family feels so fortunate to have Everett in our lives. He is soooo incredibly loved. We can't get enough of him. His siblings are constantly doting on him and saying how cute he is. I'm so amazed that there is absolutely no jealousy toward him. As much as my DD is being a stinker lately, she is incredibly sweet with Everett. I can say Everett is cute over and over and all the older kids do is agree with me. I'm so blessed to have such loving children. My heart is full.

ETA: I just wanted to share that one of Everett's milk brothers is doing so much better since receiving my milk donation. The poor lil guy has allergies like Everett. He is almost 4 months old and hasn't gained any weight since he was a month old. His other milk donors were all eating normal diets, and he was reacting to the allergens in their milk. His mother also tried him on formula and he got incredibly sick. That is why she asked me for milk. In two days he gained nearly 4 oz!

[SilvanaRose]

Di Linh that is awesome that you are able to help someone like that! They are so fortunate to have you

Name: Sara and Orin

Baby's age: um.....10 weeks 3 days...yeah...wow

Milestones/Updates:Laughing a ton, rolling side to side, grabbing toys, talking to toys, making all sorts of fascinating sounds, gaining weight right on schedule, I think he's starting to understand the concept of a stranger vs mama or daddy. Knows what bedtime is and we haven't really had a bad night yet. When changing his diaper he knows to lift his legs up and then put them down and he smiles really big cause he gets it. lol

I'm so in love

I tried dairy on 2 separate occasions now and he has had reactions both times. So I know I have to cut it out totally now.

Thoughts: I'm really sad about my DH not getting the job we were really looking forward to. No moving any time soon. I'm almost depressed about living here and knowing that I probably wont be able to go home for a visit this year either. It's really eating me up inside that I have to put up with the IL's. The last time we went there they took DS right out of my hands and literally turned their back on me the whole time. They ignored me and yet when I finally got my son back and was holding him, my stupid MIL hovered over me and made stupid noises to him. They do not have ONE picture of me in their house, yet they have pictures of my DH and my DS on the fridge and mantle. I feel like I don't even exist when I'm there. I get ill every time we have to go over there. I do not like them and I feel like crap every time I am around them. I'm almost in tears right now because I don't have my family here and all I have are those.......people. We are going over there tonight and I just know the moment we arrive my son will be taken from me. It's all about them. The practically pretend I don't exist and of course DS didn't get any of my traits and of course he's American. He is 'so much like so and so'! It upsets me so much. DH offered to go without me and take DS but I don't want my son going anywhere without me. I just don't know how to deal with them. It's eating me up. I tried talking to DH about it but he thinks I'm nuts cause "my parents love you, I don't know what your problem is." I can't even talk to him about how I feel, he just says to talk to them about it. I'm sorry for the rant but I'm really depressed over this. I do not want to be here.

[carmel23]

oh, Sara, I'm bummed you guys can't move! I'm so sorry that your in-laws are driving you nuts. I wish there was some way to make better boundaries, but with DH not really seeing what you are experiencing and them living so close--that just stinks. Hang in there... Can you put baby in a sling so they can't take him from you?? That makes me anxious, when other people besides DH take my baby for too long...

Di Linh, I know what you mean about the siblings not being jealous, but loving the baby. I feel very lucky that my kids aren't jealous of Nico at all. And they love playing with him. My DD sometimes wants me to snuggle , but so far we've been able to work it out so that the baby is taken care of too. I've had those warm-hearted mama moments all these last few weeks

Name: Carmel y Nico

Baby's age: 9 weeks 3 days

Milestones/Updates: He 'talks' and is just too sweet. He looks at DH and I with such love and trust. He loves to stand in my lap, and 'dance' and is now 12lbs. 7.5 oz! He fits his 3-6 month clothing well now.

Thoughts: We've had kind of a freaky weekend. On Thursday my friend called to say that her daughter might have pertussis and we were just over at their house one Sunday. So we took Nico to the Dr. on friday, and they took swabs and listen to his breathing... and he did have a cough. Pertussis starts out just like any other cold, and then gets worse... and by the time they can culture the swab and see what it is, it is too late to treat with antibiotics. So we decided to treat with antibiotics, and still haven't gotten the results back, with today being a holiday. We went back to the ped. today, and his breathing seemed fine.

But we still don't know for sure-- on the one hand I hope that I didn't give my lo antibiotics for nothing , but on the other hand, having an infant hospitalized with pertussis is a worse option... my dd was hospitalized with RSV and that was so hard on everyone... and pertussis is potentially fatal or causes brain damage from lack of oxygen.

So at least his tummy seems fine from the antibiotics .. no runs or anything, but i go from being to to he is not sick.

I think were going to avoid most people until the cold/flu season is over because I don't want anymore weekends like this...

[lalemma]

Sara: I thought of wearing the baby, too! If you strap him on in something like a Moby, people can't take him away. You can just let them admire him from afar.

Carmel: How TERRIFYING. I'm so sorry you guys are going through that. We're traveling by plane (alone, yikes!) later this week to go visit his dad, who's doing some military training. I'm excited to see him after over a month, but a little nervous about cold and flu season on a plane.

[evinmom]

Sara: That really stinks. I'm sorry DH didn't get the job and he doesn't understand why you are so stressed. Your stories remind me so much of my relationship with my own in-laws years ago. It took me 6 years (pre-marriage) to convince DH that his mother didn't approve of me. She was always so passive aggressive. Then right before our wedding, she finally admits to me that she never liked me or thought I was good enough for her son. I told DH what she said, and he finally believed I wasn't imagining things. Even though he was still in a bit of denial for a few years after we were married. It took his parents being repeatedly and blatantly disrespectful to me after Gavin was born before DH decided to do something. I hope things change for you a lot faster. Orin sounds like such a sweetie.

Carmel: Oh no! I hope Nico doesn't get sick. That must have been scary. Stories like that make me glad I am hibernating much of this winter.

lalemma: Good luck and have a safe trip!

[nina_yyc]

Di Linh & Carmel - That is so wonderful to get the sibling relationship off to a good start! Do you have any tips for those of us who are having a hard time? Libby's behavior has improved but she is still hitting and biting, both me and Elliot. I have been steadfastly trying to ignore it and show her that I will not reward that behavior with attention. Occasionally I will bring it up outside the heat of the moment and she admits that she would not like to be treated that way and she knows she is hurting people but it is not stopping fast enough for my liking.

Originally Posted by SilvanaRose

I tried talking to DH about it but he thinks I'm nuts cause "my parents love you, I don't know what your problem is." I can't even talk to him about how I feel, he just says to talk to them about it. I'm sorry for the rant but I'm really depressed over this. I do not want to be here.

Have you tried talking to him about just the specifics? Like get him to tell your ILs you don't like the baby taken away, stuff like that? I can see where he would have a tough time talking to them about the relationship in general...I can't see starting a convo with my parents with "So, what's your problem with Wally?" but I've said stuff to them like "Wally tells me that you let Libby make a huge mess of your house. We don't allow that type of behavior at home, and he's worried that she'll be confused by a different standard." I've also gotten him to get his family to deal with TV-limited children and turn the TV off while we are in the home.

B]Name:[/B] Nina & Elliot

Baby's age:10w

Milestones/Updates:Rolling, batting at toys, and more smiley and responsive every day. My little baby guy! He's starting to do things like grin and kick his legs when he sees me coming with the sling. I love wearing you too! His personality so far is much calmer than DD.

Thoughts: The Olympics are pretty much bumming me out because DH's schedule is a mess. I am now a pro at solo bedtimes. DH seems pretty slow to get that when he works that much, I work that much harder at home, so when the weekend comes around I need a break. I dread the month of July when he is gone for a course all month. I need to find a way to go on vacation or have friends visit me. I have no clue how single parents do it.

[doclegs]

Di Linh -- you are an inspiration! What a wonderful thing to be doing for another baby. I never even thought of doing something like that. Maybe for our second (when/if that happens).

Sara -- I'm so sorry to hear that you can't move! Boy, when it rains, it pours, eh? Stupid ILs -- I won't even bore you with the story of my horrible MIL and what she is doing right now. Oh -- and I'm in the "no dairy" club with you. I'm so sad about missing pizza, but whatever it'll take for our little ones, right?

Carmel --eep! How scary! You trusted your instincts Momma, and I hope your little one continues to be completely ok. It's always hard when you're trying to prevent something like that.

Nina -- I don't know how single Moms do it either. My DH has to take an international trip in either June or July to finish his dissertation, and I'm totally dreading it too. He's so good with her. Big to you .... I hope you find a way to take that vacation soon. Maybe a friend who would watch the LO for a few hours so you can go get a mani/pedi?

Name: Mary & Emma

Baby's age: 8 weeks, 1 day

Milestones/Updates: Fabulous head control when being held up, and lifting her head and upper body upright during tummy time. She's doing much better at bedtime and I've actually been able to get her to dream nurse a couple of times, so sleep is coming easier. We had our first nasty cold this week, so that was a struggle, but she's finally feeling better today.

Thoughts: I love being a Mom, but I worry a lot! I worry about the color of her poo, whether she's in pain when she's coughing, how much she's feeding, etc., etc., etc. I really don't want to take her to daycare at ALL because I know I'll worry about her there too.

My hats off to every woman who takes care of more than one child... I just can't fathom not only the amount of work and patience, but how to manage all that worry and love! Your hearts must be so full.

[evinmom]

Nina: I'm sorry you are having to deal with your DD acting out. That is tough when you have a new baby. She's at a difficult age for impulse control. In my experience the way siblings react to a new baby is mostly due to their personalities. You can help a child become more comfortable with having a new sibling by reading stories, talking about appropriate behaviors, acting out scenarios, etc... When it comes down to it though, some children just have a harder time adjusting. I've been real fortunate to have such a sensitive child for my first born. He dreams of living amongst a super sized family as he is in need of constant human contact. He sets a good example for my middle child who is a lot more aggressive. As sweet as she is to Everett she is downright nasty to her big brother who she beats up on daily (biting, hitting, throwing things at him, etc...). Poor Gavin is so sensitive all he does is cry and whine in response. Big to you and I hope that things improve soon with DD. FWIW, I've heard of mothers just keeping the baby out of reach in order to avoid an older sibling harming baby. It takes constant viligence.

Thoughts: I love being a Mom, but I worry a lot! I worry about the color of her poo, whether she's in pain when she's coughing, how much she's feeding, etc., etc., etc. I really don't want to take her to daycare at ALL because I know I'll worry about her there too.

My hats off to every woman who takes care of more than one child... I just can't fathom not only the amount of work and patience, but how to manage all that worry and love! Your hearts must be so full.

I felt the same way with my first. Everytime he would bump his head or something I would get tremendous guilt and worry that I've damaged him for life.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by evinmom

Nina: appropriate behaviors, acting out scenarios, etc... When it comes down to it though, some children just have a harder time adjusting.

Yes, I was thinking about this walking to the park, and I totally agree. It has a lot ot do with personality, and I think a bit to do with birth order...

My oldest had a rough time adjusting to his brother before his baby brother grew big enough to play with... My second son *loves* babies, and was thrilled when his baby sister was born.

My dd is used to me splitting my attention between her and "the brothers" as she calls them... so the baby is another "brother."

We also read all the books from the library on having a baby--everything from what happens inside mommy's tummy to what it is like to have a baby sibling.

Originally Posted by evinmom

As sweet as she is to Everett she is downright nasty to her big brother who she beats up on daily (biting, hitting, throwing things at him, etc...). Poor Gavin is so sensitive all he does is cry and whine in response. Big to you and I hope that things improve soon with DD. FWIW, I've heard of mothers just keeping the baby out of reach in order to avoid an older sibling harming baby. It takes constant viligence.

this is interesting, too, because although my DD is very gentle to the baby, she has been more aggressive with her big brother, too! Weird, eh? Its like she's taking it out on him, pulling his hair, hitting him, etc. She just gets in these moods where she is hell on wheels ...

[carmel23]

thanks everyone for the well wishes with the whooping cough and baby. His test came back negative for the pertussis, so now I feel like a bad mommy for giving my sweet tiny baby stupid antibiotics when he didn't really need them I guess it is better them him having it, though.

On another note, it is going to be 66 here tomorrow! so that is 3 sunny days in a row. I've actually gotten a lot done in the garden

[nina_yyc]

Originally Posted by evinmom

Nina: I'm sorry you are having to deal with your DD acting out. That is tough when you have a new baby. She's at a difficult age for impulse control. In my experience the way siblings react to a new baby is mostly due to their personalities. You can help a child become more comfortable with having a new sibling by reading stories, talking about appropriate behaviors, acting out scenarios, etc... FWIW, I've heard of mothers just keeping the baby out of reach in order to avoid an older sibling harming baby. It takes constant viligence.

Yup, that's why Elliot gets so much sling time. I have a hard time keeping him out of reach ALL the time though...inevitably I put him down for a minute to get clothes on or something and she has radar or something...baby on the floor, must pounce!

She seems to hurt him both deliberately and inadvertently...I let her play with him in the baby mobile thing and she tries to be nice but gets too rough or tries to pick him up, then seems genuinely disappointed when I take him away. It's the cheap shots when I'm distracted that are the worst. Yeah I want to be a good mom and pay lots of attention to DD but there are boundaries... she needs to learn to let me take a call or have a conversation with DH!! I hadn't thought about acting things out but maybe I will try it. I have spent some time showing her how I *do* want her to play with the baby like showing him toys and making silly faces. SO frustrating...I remember picking her up from the day home and my DCP would be in the kitchen doing something and Libby would be standing over my DCP's baby on the couch, holding a toy and cooing!

[justmandy]

Originally Posted by evinmom

ETA: I just wanted to share that one of Everett's milk brothers is doing so much better since receiving my milk donation. The poor lil guy has allergies like Everett. He is almost 4 months old and hasn't gained any weight since he was a month old. His other milk donors were all eating normal diets, and he was reacting to the allergens in their milk. His mother also tried him on formula and he got incredibly sick. That is why she asked me for milk. In two days he gained nearly 4 oz!

How did you find them? I've been pumping and offering my milk but haven't had any takers yet.

I'll be back to read more and post later.

[thelocaldialect]

Originally Posted by carmel23

thanks everyone for the well wishes with the whooping cough and baby. His test came back negative for the pertussis, so now I feel like a bad mommy for giving my sweet tiny baby stupid antibiotics when he didn't really need them I guess it is better them him having it, though.

On another note, it is going to be 66 here tomorrow! so that is 3 sunny days in a row. I've actually gotten a lot done in the garden

Don't beat yourself up! It was sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation anyhow, and I would have erred on the side of caution myself.

Name: Jessica and Annika

Baby's age: 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days old.

Milestones/Updates: Annika definitely recognizes our faces now -- she gets that big smile in the morning when she sees us. She recognizes her brother too and seems really fascinated by him. She has also started batting at her toys and grabbing onto them a bit. She's started to get drooly too and is gumming at everything in sight.

Thoughts: Well, I start work again next week. But! We have our niece coming to stay with us and help us watch the kids and she'll be arriving the day after tomorrow. It is going to be a big experiment having her with us long term and I am a bit nervous. She was here for 2 weeks when Annika was first born and it worked out well, which was what prompted us to invite her back. She's only 17 so I'm a bit nervous about that (like, I don't want to end up with 3 kids on my hands, but she's been working for a few years now having failed to get accepted to senior high, so she's rather mature), but DH and I will still be around most of the time and she'll just be picking up a bit of the slack. DS likes her and she likes him and it should be good for him to have her around to focus mostly on him now that DH and I are often distracted by the baby and now I'm going back to work too. So wish us luck with that!

[ears73]

wow, Carmel - gardening?? We just got more snow and I am loving it. Spring here is muddy and I can wait a while until it emerges...

Very cool that you are donating milk, evinmom. It is really great that you are helping out someone who needs a restricted diet.

and Jessica - sounds good that you will have your neice to help out! I hope things go smoothly for you.


Finn is 9 weeks tomorrow and doing fine. We still have some issues (I think) with breastfeeding in that he pulls off the nipple lots. I am making an effort to try elimination communication this week because it might have something to do that, but I am not sure. Only once a day maybe does he nurse for a feeding straight throgh and I am able to sit down and enjoy the moment. There is an LLL meeting tonight near me that I will go to - maybe I will gain some more insight there. He seems to be thriving well though (12.9 last week from 8.15 at birth) which I am pleased about.
I have to start a regular walking program also. My muffin top is uncomfortable and unslghtly and perhaps if I get in better shape I will feel more attractive? I can only hope.
On a side note, husband is looking for a new teaching job and has been in touch with a school in Colorado that looks like it might offer him a position. If that is the case we would move which is a whole can of worms but it has jump-started the need for house fixing with house-selling not too far behind. We are finally going to fix the master bathroom so we can then fix the boys bathrooom and then end up in the kitchen. The idea of spending the next few weeks in a construction mess with baby and dogs and everything is not as bad as the price hunting and stuff-getting and paper-work organizing and decision-making will be. Ah well - our bathroom has not had a working shower for 4 years. Just the idea of using it again in the near future should spur me on. I have lived in this area all my life (aside from two months hiding out in a cabin in the woods of northern CA). While it is great to think of never having to go through my hometown again (long story), am I ready for CO? For a long move to a totally new place? Part of me is very excited and part of me is dragging my feet. Only time will tell!

[evinmom]

Originally Posted by carmel23

although my DD is very gentle to the baby, she has been more aggressive with her big brother, too! Weird, eh? Its like she's taking it out on him, pulling his hair, hitting him, etc. She just gets in these moods where she is hell on wheels ...

I don't know about your DD, but my DD has always been a force to be wreckon with. Since she was a baby she's had this fiery personality. Very much in line with her Scorpio sign. I really feel for her future partners. I do.

[evinmom]

Remember I finally got around to buying 3-6 month winter clothes for Everett like 2 weeks ago?

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ebruary143.jpg
http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r...ebruary142.jpg

Do you think I should have sized up? Poor baby was not happy with me trying to squeeze his head and arms through that onesie. I'm horrible at making sure my babies have the right size clothing. *sigh*

Originally Posted by justmandy

How did you find them? I've been pumping and offering my milk but haven't had any takers yet.

I'll be back to read more and post later.

Mandy: Both the moms I donate milk to are local friends. The mom whose baby has allergies is a really good friend who I have known for 5 years. We had our last two sets of babies within a month of each other so we have gone through 2 pregnancies together. Both of our families have a family history of allergies so we commiserate a lot. You should check out milkshare.org to find moms you can locally donate to.

Jessica: Good luck with the transition back to work. I'm sure everything will be fine after awhile. It's so great that your niece can come watch the kids.

ears: When Everett pulls off the breast and I know he's not full, it is usually because he has to eliminate or already has.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by doclegs

I love being a Mom, but I worry a lot! I worry about the color of her poo, whether she's in pain when she's coughing, how much she's feeding, etc., etc., etc. I really don't want to take her to daycare at ALL because I know I'll worry about her there too.

I'm glad someone else is obsessing about the color of their LO's poop! Seriously, I worry about everything too. I'm obsessed with her breathing to the point when it gets weird I wake up out of a dead, exhausted sleep.

Sara, that sucks. I hope you can move soon. Sometimes that's the only solution. I think it's reasonable to expect DH to deal with his family though.

DI Linh - that brought tears to my eyes. So cool you are doing that and so happy the Lo is thriving!

Carmel - how scary. I am terrified of the DTaP vax and am going to delay it, but we are traveling via airplane soon and I'm scared of Pertussis too. The antibiotics are better than a small baby getting what sounds like an awful thing to get at that age.

Nina - I have no experience with this personally, but my close friends have two kids similarly spaced and when the younger one was born had a terrible time with his older brother being rough and aggressive with him. They got him a doll and named him Orion (the little bro's name) and sort of made a game where big bro acted out being the caretaker, with some pointers from mom. This way they role played and talked about things. When they came over last month, at one point the 3 yr old whipped out the doll and carried it, supporting it's neck saying, "this is baby Orion and his neck is very delicate." He's much gentler with his little bro these days.

Also, Scorpios are not all bad... it's good to be fiery. My MIL would never DARE mess with me. (Of course her endless complaining about her life drives me up the wall, especially since she got married b/c she got pregnant with DH at 17 and her complaining makes him feel responsible for her misery and I want to smack her that she'd go on about it in front of him for hours).

[Tattooed Hand]

More later from us, we had a really bad cranky, poopy night where I was up from 2:30-6, after a trying day and I am pooped. Took the day off from work.

[justmandy]

Mandy and Levi

8 weeks tomorrow

Still trying to figure out what's making levi's belly all wonky. We have his 2 month checkup next week. I feel so confliceted. I hate dr's and generally think they do more harm then good (except in actually unhealthy situations like brokern arms and heart attacks ) but I need help trying to figure out what to do. The TED didn't tell me much. I've cut out more food. Hoping for some results this week.

I'm now down to eating quinoa, lamb, turkey, pears, bananas and butternut squash.

Homeschooling is going well, we're on week 3 of no video games and none of us have died yet!

Levi and I have a cold. I woke up with an ear ache, I'm treating it natrually, I hope he doesn't get one, too. ugh.

Sara: Maybe you can get a little tipsy before going to the il's, you will either be more laid back or tell them off...win win