Just a rant/vent, I guess.
Last week, I asked STBX if we could change our usual Sunday visit to Saturday, as this Sunday was Lunar New Year, and it's a family holiday. He proceeded to drill me about what's going on with mediation (the one he refused to attend because my custody proposal was "one-sided" and which was subsequently deemed as having failed), and why *I* haven't called the mediator to reschedule, or why *I* haven't sent him a computerized version of my proposal so he could tinker with it, etc etc. After many back and forth text messages, he finally agrees to the change, but only after telling me it suits him since Sunday was Valentine's Day and he's already got himself a new honey.
Fine. Whatever.
Saturday rolls around and he texts me in the morning to say
"Please take into consideration that DD has been SLEEPING her first 20 minutes of my visit and try to correct this. Don't tire her out before she comes to see me"
What followed was a convoluted text discussion where he accused me of limiting him to only 3.5 hours of visitation on Sunday, when in fact HE is the one who constantly calls me to come get DD earlier because "she's cranky". So, basically, the man wants DD to perform like a good child and be totally happy to see him the entire time she's with him, and not sleep and not whine, and not be an 18 month old toddler. Repeat a few times a week to stroke his ego.
I take many deep breaths, utter my serenity prayer and take DD over to his place. Like last week, DD sees him approaching the car and screams NO while shaking her head.
It's so hard to let her go when she's like that. STBX takes the opportunity to be rude to me and walks away with DD screaming in his arms.
I leave and immediately receive a text from him saying "I'll tell you when you can come back to get her", as in he's keeping DD "hostage" until he feels his parental rights have been satisfied. When I respond by telling him that I'll be back at the appointed time, and to stop playing stupid macho power games and suggest that I'm done faciliating HIS visitation by driving DD to and from his place, he threatens to keep DD overnight, even though he's never put her to bed in her life, doesn't have a room set up for her, or diapers or clothing for that matter. ARG!
And yet, when I come get DD 3.5 hrs later, he's all smiles and hands her over without a problem. I spent the entire time anticipating having to knock on his door and fight my way in to get my DD.
Can someone tell me WHY it has to be THIS FRIGGIN DIFFICULT?!! Can't we just TALK like ADULTS about the well-being of our daughter?!!
The only light at the end of my tunnel is that my lawyer is starting to draft divorce and custody proceedings TODAY and that he should be served in 10 days or so.
Last week, I asked STBX if we could change our usual Sunday visit to Saturday, as this Sunday was Lunar New Year, and it's a family holiday. He proceeded to drill me about what's going on with mediation (the one he refused to attend because my custody proposal was "one-sided" and which was subsequently deemed as having failed), and why *I* haven't called the mediator to reschedule, or why *I* haven't sent him a computerized version of my proposal so he could tinker with it, etc etc. After many back and forth text messages, he finally agrees to the change, but only after telling me it suits him since Sunday was Valentine's Day and he's already got himself a new honey.
Fine. Whatever.
Saturday rolls around and he texts me in the morning to say
"Please take into consideration that DD has been SLEEPING her first 20 minutes of my visit and try to correct this. Don't tire her out before she comes to see me"
What followed was a convoluted text discussion where he accused me of limiting him to only 3.5 hours of visitation on Sunday, when in fact HE is the one who constantly calls me to come get DD earlier because "she's cranky". So, basically, the man wants DD to perform like a good child and be totally happy to see him the entire time she's with him, and not sleep and not whine, and not be an 18 month old toddler. Repeat a few times a week to stroke his ego.
I take many deep breaths, utter my serenity prayer and take DD over to his place. Like last week, DD sees him approaching the car and screams NO while shaking her head.
It's so hard to let her go when she's like that. STBX takes the opportunity to be rude to me and walks away with DD screaming in his arms.I leave and immediately receive a text from him saying "I'll tell you when you can come back to get her", as in he's keeping DD "hostage" until he feels his parental rights have been satisfied. When I respond by telling him that I'll be back at the appointed time, and to stop playing stupid macho power games and suggest that I'm done faciliating HIS visitation by driving DD to and from his place, he threatens to keep DD overnight, even though he's never put her to bed in her life, doesn't have a room set up for her, or diapers or clothing for that matter. ARG!
And yet, when I come get DD 3.5 hrs later, he's all smiles and hands her over without a problem. I spent the entire time anticipating having to knock on his door and fight my way in to get my DD.
Can someone tell me WHY it has to be THIS FRIGGIN DIFFICULT?!! Can't we just TALK like ADULTS about the well-being of our daughter?!!
The only light at the end of my tunnel is that my lawyer is starting to draft divorce and custody proceedings TODAY and that he should be served in 10 days or so.
