How am I supposed to HS when they won't stop fighting?! - Page 2

[SamuraiMom]

Yeah they are still so young and screaming and screeching is just their way of expressing themselves. This modeling of how to react vs. respond takes so much repetition for their little minds to absorb. Give it time.

[mamasaurus]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

It'll be totally different when they are old enough to do school.

Uhhh... I wouldn't count on that. Mine are 5 and 7, and boy, can they FIGHT!

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by Karenwith4

Homeschoolers should never ever, ever ever, under any circumstances, make any kind of decision, or partake in any kind of analysis of how things are going or will go in February.
Really.....
Trust me on this.

Karen, you are so wise.

Miranda

[dubatatamama]

Originally Posted by Savoir Faire

Mine are four and five (18 months apart) and I totally get you. Sometimes, I'd probably tell you to sell one of them...but not all the time

Anyway, do you have boys/girls or both? I have one of each and I know a lot of our problems stem from just how they play differently.

Sometimes we have reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal bad days where there is constant hitting, name calling, screaming, screeching-- you name it.

One of my children was prone to lashing out with her hands-- and my son now has a scar on the side of his nose from it (I forgot to trim nails). Bleh. Luckily, that's over with.

Here are two things that helped us: Cutting back on tv/dvds-- MAJORLY. No waking up and turning it on, that's for sure. I find they are much more willing to play with each other nicely when the big talking babysitter isn't on.

We've also worked on rewards and such with a dry erase board. You get a check for good behavior that we want to see modeled and an x if you aren't listening or the fights just don't stop when I've done my best.

Five checks equals a treat. It might be a popsicle or it might be a trip to the playground or whatever they decided they'd like to trade in their checks for. Five x cancels out five checks.

Oh wait. I'm off on a tangent.

Anyway...YES. You can do it. If I can do it with my two, I know you can.

Thanks for this! And yes, I have a boy and girl and they are 14 months apart, and I really think that has a lot to do with it! I Love, love, love the checkmark idea and may be instituting that in the near future!

Thanks for the vote of encouragement!

[gini1313]

Originally Posted by Karenwith4

Homeschoolers should never ever, ever ever, under any circumstances, make any kind of decision, or partake in any kind of analysis of how things are going or will go in February.
Really.....
Trust me on this.

Lol... How about in February when mom is 9 months pregnant and we have had 3 colds in the last 2 months

But... my ds (6) and dd (almost 3) fight alot as well. They both have strong personalities and are still working on compromise. Some days I feel insane, and others I am just glad it is my turn to go to work and dh "gets" to stay home with them.

My mom (who didn't homeschool, but is surprisingly supportive of it) in all her wisdome, reminds me how my sister and I fought (which we did alot) and that homeschooled kids are together pretty much ALL THE TIME. It isn't easy to be around anyone ALL THE TIME without getting annoyed by them, and they didn't choose each other. This week, I have been trying to institute "rest time" where they both go to their rooms (easier for us because they have their own rooms) and listen to books on tape or play for an hour each afternoon (if we are home that day). It seemed to help (until ds got sick, and now they have gotten along great, he is just sleeping on the couch all day), so we are going to keep going with that...

Anyways, btdt, but can't tell you about coming out the other side, yet. I have to say a couple of days recently, I have dreamed about sending ds to school, but not realistically. I can't imagine doing anything besides homeschooling them, even on the tough days!!!

Good luck!!!

[Lisa1970]

All the more reason to homeschool.

This will give you the perfect chance to teach them to get along. It won't be easy. But things will only get worse if they go off to school where they are taught that they are not supposed to get along. (I put my children in public school this year, and they were seriously told, even by teachers, that of course they would rebel and of course they would not get along with their siblings and this is just normal, and so on).

[Lisa1970]

Originally Posted by mamasaurus

Uhhh... I wouldn't count on that. Mine are 5 and 7, and boy, can they FIGHT!

LOL..and mine are 5 and 8.

I do find that the longer they have been out of school, the easier they are to work with.

[rockportmama]

Hi!

Just wanted to pop in to mention "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish. My favorite trick? Simply acknowledging my 4yo's feelings. Just a "Wow! You sound really angry!" Or the occasional (private) conversation about yeah, sometimes it's really frustrating to deal with your little sister, even though you really love her.

Sometimes that's enough to make all the difference in the world. Sometimes not.

HTH!

[hippiemommaof4]

YOU'LL BE OK!!! Kids have disagreements,its normal and they may always do it lol. You just deal with it and resume teaching them, they'll learn tolerance and patience in time. I have 5 kids ages 7 and under :-) loads of fun ;-) someone is always screaming or hollaring over some injustice served by another kid/toddler or someone is aggrevating the other one to get a rise. Fun times LOL

[Therese's Mommy]

This is exactly why we started schooling with our oldest. She was causing all sorts of troubles around the house. She is the sweetest best behaved child and is very intelligent but we had a short period of time when she was a total bear. Dh asked me to start schooling her because he thought she was bored. He was right! As soon as we started sitting down to do school most days (at least 3-4 days a week) she totally changed. She was just mentally bored and was using us and her younger sister for entertainment by pushing our buttons constantly. I can't remember the last time she did that. I know a lot of people around here are more in favor of holding off on formal schooling and I totally believe that, but some kids need the structure and challenge earlier. Again, the beauty of homeschooling is that you tailor it to fit your child. Some kids do better starting early some are better suited to starting later.