Working moms...when you have a day off, do you still send your child to daycare? - Page 2

[RollerCoasterMama]

Well...in the neighbor's situation as a teacher, I would figure that those 2 hours are time spent grading, laundry, cooking dinner so that when the baby came home it was BABY TIME. DS has been in daycare since he was 9 weeks old because I had no other choice, and let me tell you that even 90 mins of time to do household things without a toddler would have greatly improved our quality time in the evening. It's better now that he's a little older, plus his bedtime seems to be naturally creeping a bit later no matter what we do.

Do I send him to daycare if I happen to have a day off (and we're both healthy)? It happens rarely, but yes. Today in fact! I took an extra day off work. This is my "mom-cation!". Time to finish unpacking, run errands, take a nap. But until very recently, we've used home daycare providers---and they had nearly as much vacation time as me, so my vacation was purely dictated by their time off. It's a little different now at preschool. And because I find myself having extra vacation time at work and less required by preschool, I'll be able to take long weekends with DS and do fun things now and then.

Those rare days alone were much much more important before I moved into my own house and DS and STBX started having their man-weekends. Now I actually have time to recharge. Before that, I found that I was on the run so much that about every 6 months I would get so exhausted that I would take a sick day just to sleep.

[PiePie]

i don't but i have friends who do. correction: i did once send her in to sch for the morning so i could get some hardcore cleaning done. my dh thinks i should use such times to send her to sch to do stuff for myself -- get that haircut i have been saying i need forever, etc. maybe i should. to be fair, if she went to sch for one of those things and by the time i could pick her up she was in the middle of nap, i probably might leave her there a little longer just so she could complete the nap. oh, i just remembered, we sent her to sch for a day when my dh and i played hooky and had a date day. i consider that better, for her, than a babysitter whom she does not know as well, and she always has more fun when she is with the other kids than when she is with just a grownup substitute caregiver at home.

[artemis80]

Yep, just did it yesterday, but we did sleep in and I picked him up a little early. I really really want to spend more time with ds, but I really really REALLY needed a day to myself yesterday! Sigh.

In the neighbors' case, hmmmm...I would assume one or both of the parents was working at home.

[amlikam]

I work a 4 day a week schedule at my "day time" job- but on my "day off" I am working to build up my own business. I send my DD to the providers house for 3 main reasons: 1- I get no work done when DD is home and 2- we consider our provider to be a co-parent. So I trust her as much as my husband.... ok and 3- I pay for it either way....

There are times where I say- nope I need a mommy and babe day and keep her home or go do something fun. But I don't make a habit because I need to get my stuff done.

I also typically don't lift a finger on house work these days either... I feel it is imprtant to keep the mindset I am WORKING and not home.

Don't get me wrong- we are a very attached family and I love my time with my DD.... but sometimes there is more to be done then people realize. I have a sister who always says "Oh so your not working today" and I say "no I am" and she will say "oh but thats not real work"... I disagree. LOL Ahhhhh sisters hahahaha

Anyhow, I am sure it makes sense to you (and to be honest I have the same family as you next door to me OP... hahaha or it feels that way- but she's a bank worker and he's a carpenter- but I always wonder because the dad has the son more than the mom..... MUCH more... who knows though... at 1st I thought is was PPD- but 2.5 yrs later I am not sure.)

[almadianna]

I do and this is why, just because I am at home does not mean that I am not working.

I have the ability to work some from home or leave early/take days off and even if I am at home... I am still working. So I could not pay the attention to them that they require. It isnt that I dont want to spend time with them at all. On days that I do this I sleep in with them and we cuddle in the mornings, I get them early, and I do more with them but they do go off with the nanny.

[DCMama01]

Why is it that nobody questions why dad can't keep the kids while working from home or why dad isn't finding more time to be with kids? Women are really unfair to each other. There are people with husbands who see their kids a few times a year and nobody bats an eye. Nobody says these men need to leave the military or take less demanding jobs so that their kids can bond with em. Yet, it doesn't matter if the woman is the breadwinner or not, if she doesn't spend every free moment with her kids, she must be depressed or neglectful.

I don't see anything wrong with this. I don't care if mom needs the time to take care of housework, grade papers, or just enjoys a couple hours a day to herself. And the fact that the kids are with grandparents during that time and thats considered weird baffles me. I was raised by mom, dad, two sets of aunts and uncles, and my grandparents. It was awesome and I'm still very close to all of them. One of my aunts I consider to be a second mom and I also went through a phase where I was practically my dad's shadow. Today, my mom and I go crazy if more than 2 days past without us talking.

DD is 3 months tomorrow and will begin spending a weekend per month with my mom (her grandma) starting next month. I want her to be attached to my mom like I was to both of my grandmas. I'm only sad that her paternal grandparents are no longer living. I have a girlfriend whose son spends almost every weekend with one set of his grandparents. They insist, her son loves it, and they all get to bond with him. And during this time, my girlfriend and her DH get to bond, take care of household chores, and relax!

[merryns.mom]

i have an 18 mo dd; i work ft, go to school ft in the evenings/and online, and my dh works ft.

lord yes i send her to school on the rare day i have off and she doesn't!!! when she's out of her routine she get's ill. she is super attached and i can't work on schoolwork or anything, and she really enjoys being at school with her friends playing. sometimes on weekends i even send her to her aunt's or g-parents' home-they all love her so much and have fun with her.

it's a win-win situation!

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by Thalia

Sounds like they have a very supportive and involved MIL. We just aren't very used to families being this close and involved in this culture.

I agree. I know of several people who are grandparents and are willing to keep the grandkids many hours a week and take them everywhere with them. It's normal for some families.

My DD just started daycare a little over a week ago at 5 mos old and I'm not sure how I will do things but right now she is only going 5-6 hours per day. I'm not sure how much longer she may have to stay in the future. In the past when my other two children were in daycare and preschool I would keep them in school on my days off, especially if I was having a sick day. Nothing wrong with that. They needed that routine they were used to. I'm also paying for it and daycare is expensive.

[cchrissyy]

Originally Posted by Amila

But I do believe that grandparents should be able to enjoy being grandparents, and not have to raise children all over again, unless of course they really really want to, which seems to be the case with my neighbor

On this note, i think lots of grandparents DO want to be plugged-in with raising the grandkids, when circumstances allow. I am thinking now of my uncle who recently passed away. When my aunt and uncle were young, they both worked hard outside of the home. They had two children, and later when the grandchildren were born, my aunt and uncle retired and became full-time caregivers to their two grandchildren while the next generation was working full time. That level of connectedness and relationship is priceless.

[almadianna]

Cchrissyy I agree with you and again this is a cultural thing.

The grandparents that just show up during holidays to spoil grandchildren does not work in my family, for us an extended family caregiver role is a great thing. I learned a great deal fro my grandmother who basically did sort of raise me for a while. It was priceless and mutually beneficial for everyone involved.

My inlaws are not like this at all, they like to show up once every few months and bring tons of toys.. play for a couple of hours and then go home. This honestly make me angry as this is not what grandparents are supposed to do in my eyes. I would much prefer a relationship like the one that I had with my grandmother.

[JHopesMomma]

I WOH full-time, and used to be on a 12 hr. panama shift, so I had weird days off and worked every other weekend. On my days off, my daughter was always with me, and on the weekends I worked, DH was with her. I know some other parents in our daycare who work shifts and on their days off still send their kids to school. Personally, I relish every moment of time off I can spend with my daughter, but I can also understand certain circumstances when you'd still have to send your kids to daycare when you're off (ex: whenever I had training on my days off, etc.). I agree with everyone else who's said you don't really know their circumstances, or what works for their family.

[ccohenou]

Usually I do, if the other kids have school. Can always use the time to study, clean, run errands, whatever. If everyone has the day off then the youngest stays with us too.

[c'est moi]

i'm a teacher with similar hours to your neighbor and a similarly aged child. although the school day ends at 3, i'm working until 4:55 when i have to leave to get my toddler. i could EASILY fill my entire evening after school everyday with work for work, but i don't/can't. teaching is one of those professions where there is always, ALWAYS more to do and give. and if you're a relatively new teacher like me, it's even more so.

my husband takes my daughter all day saturday, and i take her all day sunday because he is also an educator and needs a work day. sometimes my parents have her all day on sunday, so i don't see her much over the weekend.

anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i don't find this strange at all.

oh, and sometimes when i'm doing work at home, i take a mental "break" and do something else like a household chore.

anyway, just trying to add some perspective.