What do you do when....

[nummies]

...you tell your toddler "no" repeatedly, he looks at you, understands what you are saying, and does it anyway?

Example: "No. Nathan do not dump that water over." He looks straight at my face, gives me a little smile, and dumps the water over. My instinct was to reach out an smack him! I didn't, but I sure did want to.

What am I supposed to do in this situation?

[mrs_mandolini]

With a child this young, words alone just aren't effective. He's testing to see what you'll do. This means you'll need to get up and take the water away when you see this coming, if having spilled water is a problem in your home.

Our son enjoyed playing in the sink a lot at that age. We consistently took him away from the sink when water got spilled. The fascination with pouring is not over, but it's much less than it used to be. He's 3 now. :-)

[tbone_kneegrabber]

tell him what you want him to do not what you DON"T want him to do.

For little kids they process that statment like this "blah nathan blah blah DUMP THE WATER blah don't blah no"

He has to think about dumping the water before he can think NOT to do it, but by the time he's thought about dumping the water he can't stop himself.

[betsyj]

Example: "No. Nathan do not dump that water over." He looks straight at my face, gives me a little smile, and dumps the water over. My instinct was to reach out an smack him! I didn't, but I sure did want to.

Put his water in a sippy cup. Or, deny access to the flowers (not sure what the water was for). See, I KNOW without a doubt my son would absolutely dump the water and think it awesome and fun.

And, since I don't want to sound like a broken record or spend all my time angry (No, no nonononononono) I prevent, prevent, redirect, and learn from my previous mistakes of giving too much too soon.

[mrs_mandolini]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber

tell him what you want him to do not what you DON"T want him to do.

For little kids they process that statment like this "blah nathan blah blah DUMP THE WATER blah don't blah no"

He has to think about dumping the water before he can think NOT to do it, but by the time he's thought about dumping the water he can't stop himself.

This is great advice also. "Can you give the water to mommy?" or "Water in the sink! In the sink!!!"

[LynnS6]

Tell him what to do instead: "Nathan, put your hand at your side". Then redirect to something acceptable.

Even adults have a hard time not doing something. If your friend says "don't look behind you, but here comes that cute guy we met." what are you going to do? Look behind you. If she says - "hey look over there at the tv", you won't even think about looking behind you.

If an adult has a hard time resisting the urge to do something, how much harder is it for a 2 year old with iffy impulse control and no real sense of the consequences?

Oh, and give him lots of opportunities for acceptable dumping.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Tell him what to do instead: "Nathan, put your hand at your side". Then redirect to something acceptable.

Even adults have a hard time not doing something. If your friend says "don't look behind you, but here comes that cute guy we met." what are you going to do? Look behind you. If she says - "hey look over there at the tv", you won't even think about looking behind you.

If an adult has a hard time resisting the urge to do something, how much harder is it for a 2 year old with iffy impulse control and no real sense of the consequences?

Oh, and give him lots of opportunities for acceptable dumping.

Don't think about a pink elephant. Don't think about a pink elephant.....







hey I told you! Don't think about a pink elephant!

[3*is*magic]

Originally Posted by nummies

...you tell your toddler "no" repeatedly, he looks at you, understands what you are saying, and does it anyway?

Example: "No. Nathan do not dump that water over." He looks straight at my face, gives me a little smile, and dumps the water over. My instinct was to reach out an smack him! I didn't, but I sure did want to.

What am I supposed to do in this situation?

I had to check that this wasn't a thread that *I* had started, because I have a Nathan who behaves just as yours does. He's 3.5. No amount of redirection or distraction works. Once he decides to do something, he does it, no matter what. The only thing that works is to never leave him in a situation with any kind of temptation, which is nearly impossible because everything is a temptation on some level - blocks: building material or projectile? books: nature's solution to the desire to tear thinks up! play kitchen: perfect for scaling and/or tipping over!

I don't have a solution for you, but if you'd like to join me for stiff drink, come on over .

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Even adults have a hard time not doing something. If your friend says "don't look behind you, but here comes that cute guy we met." what are you going to do? Look behind you. If she says - "hey look over there at the tv", you won't even think about looking behind you.

Hahahaha! GREAT example. It's sort of a 2-parter. Think about what you're supposed to be NOT doing, then not do it. Very tricky, even for grown ups!

I also agree with Lynn's suggestion about acceptable dumping. My daughter (16 months) drinks from a cup (we use a kid thermos with a straw for in the car), and she LOVES to pour water from one cup into another. Funny thing about her though, is that we've taught her about responsibility. So when she spills the water (and sometimes she does it on purpose - because it's fun), she'll go get our kitchen towel to wipe it up with... but usually not before splashing in it a few times first.

Now if someone can tell me how to stop her from taking out all the tupperware from the drawers and drinking from them (she also likes to help herself to the water cooler), that would be fantastic. (I'm just kidding... this doesn't really bother me at all and I don't want to hijack this thread. At least she's well hydrated!)

[starlein26]

I'm not sure if this has been suggested, but I like to offer acceptable alternatives. So, if you don't like water in X spot...let him know where he can go pour it out (toilet, sink, plant, backyard, bowl...)

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by nummies

...you tell your toddler "no" repeatedly, he looks at you, understands what you are saying, and does it anyway?

Just thinking... Could this be a negative attention seeking behavior? Changing what you say (by redirecting to do something else instead of saying "don't do that") might not work if that's the case. He might look at you anyway, smile, and dump his water.

I would deal with this by first figuring out if he does need some extra attention (or whatever need of his is not being met), and try to meet that first.

[sapphire_chan]

"careful with your cup!" assume the intention is good. Until you said "no" all that was happening is the cup was tipping.

And then follow up with "let me help you with the cup" and take the cup away.

Of course my grinning dd wouldn't pour the water on the bed, she's just having problems holding the up properly. So I helped her. And then we moved into the bathroom and she got popped into the tub with a running faucet and a half dozen cups for pouring hither and thither.

[ewe+lamb]

In total agreement with the other pp with the positive direction - keep the water in the cup/bath whatever; keep the cup upright etc., my sister saved me on this one!! lol