"She's so much harder than her brother was!"

[limabean]

I've been told this a few times, and it's true that DS is ridiculously mild-tempered and was an "easy" baby, but I just don't think it's a fair statement to say that she's more difficult. I mean, DS didn't have to share anything (toys, his parents, etc.) when he was her age -- he had two completely doting parents who were focused on him and meeting his needs all the time. So to say that she's "harder" when she's having to put up with a lot more than he did at that age just irks me.

Frankly, he's hard these days too now that he's having to share stuff -- it's just part of being a sibling! When DH takes DS somewhere and it's just me and DD and she's getting everything she wants like DS did as a baby, she's a sweet little butternut just like he was -- there's nothing intrinsically "difficult" about her.

Okay, vent over. Can anyone relate?

[peaceful_mama]

YES and it puts a bit into perspective for me regarding my DD....from birth, she's had to share me with her older brother, and the baby was born when she was *almost* 22 months old. I think that explains a LOT about DD.

[granolalight]

In my family, ds (3) really is harder than dd (9) was, in many ways. He just has a different, spirited temperment. I am trying to be conscious of my words, b/c I have become aware of saying that to other people ("he's so much harder than she was"), and I'm sure my kids have overheard me. Not good for either of them.

[DaisyMay]

The sibling stuff is definitely hard in our house too. Big bro is 3 - little sis just turned 1. He's had a really hard time with sharing and letting her in on his stuff from the start. He's liked her fine - and getting to have more and more fun with her the older she gets - but just not when she's threatening his "property rights"! We've had to deal with some hitting/shoving which has been a huge pain. He's actually getting a lot better which is a relief, then yesterday she, who has from the start totally loved him to bits, beams whenever he gives her any attention etc, went to hit him when he came running over excitedly when he realised we were reading one of her new books. A tiny part of me is glad that she's starting to stand up for herself, but at the same time... ARrrrrrgh! On the other hand, I know they will be great friends and great for each other growing up and glad of each other so it's all worth it. Speaking as a 2nd born (!), I certainly felt growing up that I had the harder job in terms of shouting louder, jumping higher, setting myself apart etc and I'm sure all that more than accounts for a 2nd babe being (or seeming to be) a bit more of a handful!

[Letitia]

DS, 20 months, has been in some ways more difficult than DD who just turned 3. He cried a lot more when he was little, and now that he's older he's more prone to tantrums than she ever was. But they're really different little people in so many ways - different strengths, different ways of learning to do things. And why would we expect them to be the same?

But I am trying so hard to learn to keep this to myself! DD especially is at an age where she can understand it when people say stuff. My own sister was 20 months younger than me, and simply a developmental stud. She did everything early and well, and hearing that all my life was not so easy. I think my childhood jealousy affects our relationship to this day.

I know my kids are going to compare themselves, but I don't want to be accentuating that for them.