how & when to let a toddler "walk" down the stairs

[MamaPhD]

My 14 mo DD just started walking a couple of weeks ago. She is walking pretty well in the house and also outside (mall, park, etc.). Today she stood at the top of the stairs at home, smiled, and tried to "walk" down the stairs. I just said, "no", and turned her to "crawl" down the stairs. She tried to turn and walk each step and I turned her each time! Obviously, I don't let her crawl up/down stairs outside. I usually hold her. But sometimes going up small steps (into a store or something), I would hold her hand and she walks up the steps.

So, my question is, how & when did you and your toddler make the transition?

[slgt]

Gosh, you would think I'd remember more clearly. DD was climbing up & down the stairs as soon as she could crawl. I think we encouraged her to go down backwards starting probably around 14 months, with the idea that she could have some level of independence - i.e. go down the stairs without holding onto one of us that way.

She was walking down holding onto the railing by 18 months. Now, at 24 months, she walks up and down just fine by herself, but we make her hold the railing for down. We let her go up by herself, but one of us is always with her going down (our stairs are hardwood with a hardwood landing at the bottom).

[Geist]

We started off holding his hands while he walked down the stairs. Usually he would hold onto the railing on one side and our hand on the other and go down like that. Then after a while, when he thought he could do it, he would refuse our hand and just go down holding the railing and we would be right next to him. Now, I usually got ahead of him (going downstairs) so I can catch him in case he falls.
What I found helpful to remember is that kids are naturally cautious, so if you let them go down the stairs, they will do so carefully because they don't like falling and getting hurt any more than you, but if you forbid it and they get a chance, in all likelihood, they'll be wreckless and hurried so they can do it before you stop them. And then, of course they get hurt. (John Holt talks about this in his books How Children Learn and How Children Fail). My son has fallen a few times (but I've always stopped him) but as a side effect, he has learned very well how to stop himself from falling when he loses his balance. For my part, Ive learned to let him decide how he wants to go down the stairs. Sometimes he goes backwards and slids down the flight very quickly. Most of the time he goes down walking holding onto the rail and on shorter flights of stairs he goes down without holding anything at all.

Oh, and we started this when he started trying to lunge down from our arms when we would be on stairs, which I think happened around the same time he started walking.

[Dreamy]

DS never really did crawl (started a bit after he learned to walk to copy the daycare kids), so he's pretty much always walked down the stairs. I just always walked backwards in front of him holding his hands. It wasn't long before he didn't want my help and just held onto the rungs of the railing. In the past couple of weeks though (he's 22 months), he's discovered on his own that he can get down much faster crawling backwards (he goes two at a time this way ). Whatever works!

[corrieoseal]

DD saw her first pair of stair at eleven months while she was still crawling and after giving her full access, she mastered them in about a day as a crawler. She didn't walk until 14 months, but she was still very satisfied with going down backwards until 16-17 months. Then we taught her to scoot down on her bum and in the last couple of months (she is 20 months now) she started wanting to walk down. So we have let her take the lead on the issue. If she wants to go down without an adult she has to scoot, but if DH or I is there to spot, she can practice walking down. Problem is that she is super short and can only hold the railing on her tippy toes, so she mostly balances against the wall. But she is very careful and can walk easily down our front steps now with no assistance and no railing to check her balance.

[Aries1985]

My 19 month old has been going up and down by herself for months now. I don't remember exactly when, but she's very good on stairs and ours are carpeted with a landing in the middle. She walks up and down them without crawling.

[jewelsJZ]

My 14 month old absolutely refuses to crawl DOWN the stairs, up the stairs he crawls. He has been walking since 10 months. So, at home, I hold one of his hands and he uses the other to hold on to the spindles (?) and/or railing. If we are somewhere else where there is just one or two steps, he does it himself, unless there is nothing to hold onto. Then I hold his hand.

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by Geist

We started off holding his hands while he walked down the stairs. Usually he would hold onto the railing on one side and our hand on the other and go down like that. Then after a while, when he thought he could do it, he would refuse our hand and just go down holding the railing and we would be right next to him. Now, I usually got ahead of him (going downstairs) so I can catch him in case he falls.
What I found helpful to remember is that kids are naturally cautious, so if you let them go down the stairs, they will do so carefully because they don't like falling and getting hurt any more than you, but if you forbid it and they get a chance, in all likelihood, they'll be wreckless and hurried so they can do it before you stop them. And then, of course they get hurt. (John Holt talks about this in his books How Children Learn and How Children Fail). My son has fallen a few times (but I've always stopped him) but as a side effect, he has learned very well how to stop himself from falling when he loses his balance. For my part, Ive learned to let him decide how he wants to go down the stairs. Sometimes he goes backwards and slids down the flight very quickly. Most of the time he goes down walking holding onto the rail and on shorter flights of stairs he goes down without holding anything at all.

Oh, and we started this when he started trying to lunge down from our arms when we would be on stairs, which I think happened around the same time he started walking.

We have helped DS walk up and down stairs by holding his hand from the time he was about 13 mons or so. He is now 2 and I feel very comfortable with his ability on stairs.

[ShyDaisi]

Micah learned fairly early. I let him do what he was comfortable with along with supervision. I think the opportunity to navigate with "help" allowed him to figure out the mechanics of it more quickly than if I would have inhibited his efforts.

[lifeguard]

I have tried & tried to teach ds to go down the stairs backwards (he's been competent goin up them for many months) but he thinks it's a big joke. He can now go down on his own walking (holding the banister) but prefers to hold my hand (& I feel better about that anyway).

[sapphire_chan]

Lina would sit down then stand up on the next step then sit on it and stand on the next one, etc.

now she uses the rail and a hand or just a hand.

[DaisyMay]

We moved when my son was 19 months, so it's easy to put a date on it. We had stair-gates in our old house, so he was always supervised on the stairs, and we never bothered with them in the new house as he was perfectly competent going up and down - had obviously mastered the skill somewhere therein. He had been walking for 7 months by then.

[Shannie77]

My DD has been really early with her gross motor skills... and yet she will be three in May and DH still requests she does the stairs on her bum! I think just before 2 was when I felt confident with her walking down most stairs by herself. I do remember when she was younger she was totally capable of doing the stairs.. however she would sometimes get distracted which would lead to a fall if I wasn't there.

[Skippy918]

DS has been crawling up and down the stairs since before he could walk. He learned going down feet first on his belly. Now at 18 months he's more interested in walking down the stairs. I hold his hands and help him, but his legs are still a bit too short for him to go down or up by himself.

[claddaghmom]

DD has gotten very little practice. We have no stairs, and Grandma's house has 16 wooden stairs ending on concrete in the basement. lol

She has only ever walked up and down them, no crawling, and always while holding someone's hand.

The only other place she uses stairs is at the park to get on the slide.

I therefore don't know if she can walk down the stairs unassisted, and I'm not that eager to encourage her b/c then she will throw a fit to walk down those wooden stairs alone.

[peaceful_mama]

hmm with my first 2 we lived in an apt. building with stairs. I didn't let them crawl up and down the steps, I carried them at that stage. I seem to remember about 18 months being the age they started to really *want* to try walking, and they held my hand.

Here, we have cement steps outside, we don't have to use them, but I didn't even like dd who was 2 1/2 going up and down those (especially down) alone last summer to go with brother to see if the neighbor kids could play. This summer she'll be 3 1/2 should be a little less freaky. (Even SHE last summer would get up the steps and then most of the time want ME to come up and get her down.)

The baby, who will be a year and a half, will not be allowed on those steps period.

[Artichokie]

my dd actually never crawled backwards down stairs. she's been walking since 8 mo and went straight from being carried down to going down on her butt to going down holding onto the rail.