Making Family Changes

[VisionaryMom]

We've had a lot of upheaval and illness in the past 6 months or so. That's resulted in us sliding on a lot of issues - mainly food and screen time. We're also seeing significant regression in 5YO DS. For example, last night he asked me to wash his hands for him. Now I'm at a place where I'm ready to make some changes and address the issues. My question is whether we do those things gradually or all at once? I will say that both DH and I tend to be "whole hog" kinds of folks, but I don't want to cause shell shock in the kids.

I'm tempted - oh, so very tempted - to move the TV into the downstairs den and grant very, very limited access (such as - we can pick one DVD on Saturday afternoons). The thing is that I'm *terrified* about how that will go over. As I'm writing this, though, I know in my heart it's the right thing to do. I'm just scared of how it will go over.

As for food, we used to eat all whole foods and about 40-50% raw. Yeah, I'm embarrassed to say what we're eating now.

I want to go back, but DS seems resistant. I don't blame him. I know how much processed and sugar-filled food make you crave it, but I also don't want him to eat nothing (which he's stubborn enough to do) for a couple of days before he relents.

I'd be open to any suggestions, ideas, BTDT advice. I feel really convicted about this right now, and I want to make the change while I'm feel strong. I just don't want to cause hurt and pain.

[Maluhia]

Whole hog is fine if that is something that all three of you will be doing....just steel yourself for the extra patience to deal with the whining and tantrums that come with changes like this. In the end though, you could stretch it out over a few months and still have whining and tantrums.

I find my kid (same age) is super visual so having a poster/chart showing what you will be doing/eating/watching as a family will help him follow what is happening so he can see positive representation rather than the "no train" that some of this will probably feel like for both of you.

[just_lily]

My personal belief is that you shouldn't take something away, without giving something back in its place.

So I am all for moving the TV downstairs if that is what you want to do. But at the same time, could you get your kids a new toy they have been coveting? A family board game? Some art supplies? Make you sure you have activities planned in place of watching tv - so instead of just saying "no TV" you can say "Let's go paint!"

Same with the food. Stock up on healthy options that your kids like. I would be willing to stretch the grocery budget to get some good, healthy, treats. Like blueberries are super expensive here now.

Maybe allow your son to eat through any sugary foods that you still have on hand (assuming that you don't have a year's supply or anything!) and remind him that when it is gone, it is gone - after that it will only be for special occasions, or Saturdays, or whatever you choose.

[Cujobunny]

Great suggestions above. I also don't think there's a problem with the "whole hog" route. I do think you should project a positive vibe about it though. Make sure your family knows that it's positive changes you are making. Be happy and excited about it. It's fun to not watch tv. It's fun to cook. And let your ds see the rewards in making the changes (less tv means more family fun times together so make sure you are spending more time with him doing things he loves, less junk/convenience foods means cooking together, can he help? Can he make his own shopping list? I let my kids cut and paste pics from grocery flyers onto paper so they can find their things at the store. Also good food makes you feel healthy and strong so notice, and let him know you've noticed when he's doing something with his strength and energy. When someone notices my son running fast or playing hard or picking up something heavy, he says "yep, it's cuz I eat so much healthy foods! ).

[rubidoux]

I kind of think it's easier for me, personally, to do all or nothing on both food and tv. Around fifteen years ago, dh and I just gave away our tv and we had to learn what to do to replace it and the house seemed empty for a little while, but I think it was much easier than watching less tv and having to have the will power to stop (and I think it would be worse to have someone come and tell me it was time to stop). The same is true with bad for me foods (though this one I have never actually conquored). Baked things like cookies, cakes, breads are my downfall and it's so much easier for me to cut them out completely than to have small portions of them once in a while. When I do that they always sneak back in before I know it.