What are your guidelines for hands in the pants?

[Nosy]

DS (4 yo) is walking around with his hands in his pants often right now, and it bothers me. I was raised by a rather prudish mother so I want to understand what others do....I'm not sure if the hands in the pants thing bothers others or if it's just my issue from my mother. Don't want him to feel ashamed but it makes me uncomfortable and I worry about his being embarrassed when he accidentally does it around others. He says it doesn't hurt (thought it might be infected), but we've recently had to remind him before we go in the store to keep his hands out of his pants. He's a pretty sensory seeking guy so I asseme it has something to do with that.

[MusicianDad]

I would remind him that it's something we do in the bedroom or bathroom with the door closed and that he should wash his hands after.

It does bother some people, and it bothers some people quite a bit. But you know it's common 4 year old behaviour, and he will get better about remembering to not do it around other people.

[One_Girl]

I talked to my dd about private body parts and exploring them in privacy then I would just ask if she needed some private time when she started exploring in public.

[MaxMommy]

When Ds "discovered" himself we had a talk about how that is his private area, just for him and it's something to be done in private. Also, the cleanliness aspect, that since he pees out of it, it's a good thing to wash his hands after playing with it.
He sees the sense in what I told him and will let me know when to NOT interrupt him in the bathroom because he needs "privacy"

[Anastasiya]

Here, it's a "NO" thing, solely because of the health issue. I know of no 4 year old boys who will remember to wash their hands afterwards so it's not something I want them doing and I'm certainly not going to be able to keep up with it - "Did you touch yourself? Did you wash?"

I have one boy who does do it at night while he sleeps, and I have to check him regularly to make sure he's aiming down (he's not usually - I have to push it back down) otherwise he'll wake up several times having had peed all over himself and everything.

I think it's an annoying habit and I don't like having their hands that close to their butthole. Talk about disgusting bacteria.

The one boy I have who does it often is ALWAYS sick with a diarrhea bug of one kind or another, because his hands are in his pants, then in his mouth, over and over again. Sorry, but that's just not healthy.

[SunshineJ]

Ok I guess I read this differently. Does he have his hands down his pants and underpants touching his privates, or does he walk around a la Al Bundy with his hand just stuck down the front of his pants (not engaging or really touching privates)? At 7 yrs old I've about given up on getting DS not to do the Al Bundy thing, though he confines it to home at least. I caught DH doing the same darn thing the other night, and I'm now half convinced that this is an inborn guy thing that I won't be able to change (maybe a subconscious need to be able to easily "check" or "protect" by having their hand close?). I have no idea on it, and don't think I'll ever get it!

[Freud]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

(maybe a subconscious need to be able to easily "check" or "protect" by having their hand close?). I have no idea on it, and don't think I'll ever get it!

Bingo! This is exactly what it is.

I'd just remind him to do it in private, but not make a huge deal of it. Washing hands too, but he should be in charge of that.

[Llyra]

I don't really have any guidelines about it. I don't think it bothers me particularly. I think that if we were out somewhere, or in the company of somebody who I think might be bothered, I would say something to the child, in an giving-information kind of way. Like I might say, "DS, when you do that Grandma doesn't like it," or "DS, if you do that at school the other kids are going to think it's weird." He deserves to know that there are social conventions about this stuff. But I wouldn't make a discipline issue out of it-- he'll get to an age where he'll care what his peers think, and that'll put a stop to it quickly, I would think.

I think a lot of times when we call attention to these kinds of behaviors-- public masturbation in a preschool-age-or-younger kid, or nosepicking, or any of a dozen other similar things, we just reinforce the habit. I think that if it bothered me, I'd focus on completely ignoring it, or just getting up and walking away from him when he's doing it.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It dosnt bother me so I ignore it at home. If we are out in public I redirect his hands without saying anything about where they have been. Ds is 5 and is not the most fastidious washer of hands but he has yet to get sick from having his hands in his pants and then eating or having them in his mouth.

I think a lot of times when we call attention to these kinds of behaviors-- public masturbation in a preschool-age-or-younger kid, or nosepicking, or any of a dozen other similar things, we just reinforce the habit. I think that if it bothered me, I'd focus on completely ignoring it, or just getting up and walking away from him when he's doing it.

I totally agree with this.

[Red Pajama]

I didn't make a big deal of this when it was going on. I didn't enforce a handwashing afterwards, either, because I guarantee that his hands on a regular basis are a lot dirtier than his penis that's inside his pants. I did remind that it was something for private.

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

I would remind him that it's something we do in the bedroom or bathroom with the door closed and that he should wash his hands after.
.

This is how it works at our house also, we just let her know that it's fine but she needs to go to her bedroom or the bathroom. The same if she decides she doesn't want to wear clothes, it's fine to have naked time but it can't be in the middle of the living room.

[MaxMommy]

Originally Posted by Red Pajama

I didn't make a big deal of this when it was going on. I didn't enforce a handwashing afterwards, either, because I guarantee that his hands on a regular basis are a lot dirtier than his penis that's inside his pants. I did remind that it was something for private.

LMAO!!!
I've always thought that but never admitted it.

[cattmom]

"I guarantee that his hands on a regular basis are a lot dirtier than his penis that's inside his pants."
So true.

[peaceful_mama]

I "caught" ds1 touching his in the tub with sister (3) present. (they are 3 and 5)

I took it as a realization that it might be time to start gently encouraging separate bathing, but I haven't made a huge deal out of it--I've started to be more conscious of them not being unsupervised when they bathe together.

Not because I think anything might happen! Just to issue the reminder I gave the one time "if you want to touch your penis, that is something you do when you are ALONE, not in front of other people. If you need to be 'alone' let me know and i will help." (with younger bro and sis, it's hard to guarantee that.)

Haven't seen/heard anything else about it.

[LaughingHyena]

I didn't make a big deal of this when it was going on. I didn't enforce a handwashing afterwards, either, because I guarantee that his hands on a regular basis are a lot dirtier than his penis that's inside his pants. I did remind that it was something for private.

I'm more concerned about that state of the hands before they get inside the pants. It really made me cringe when he had just got out of the sand.

If he just wandering round with hands in his pants we just reminding him to take them out and try to get him involved in something to keep his hands busy.