I have a new baby and I'm freaking out....

[sarahtdubb]

DS is 2.5, and little sis was born on Friday. I am freaking, mamas. I know a part of it is the post-partum hormonal roller coaster, but I am terrified of having 2 kids. I miss my son like crazy. And I don't know how I'm going to handle having a little baby all over the again---the sleepless nights, the teething, oy oy oy--I keep thinking "I signed up to do this again?" I feel dread.

Please tell me it'll be ok.

[fruitfulmomma]

... It will be okay and it does get easier. Let yourself rest and enjoy your new little one.

[NaturallyPeachey]

I have a 21 month old DS and a three week old. I know exactly how you feel. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. A lot of work, don't get me wrong but doable. I just try the best I can. It's an adjustment for all of us so I'm just trying to go with the flow and take it one day at a time.

I do miss it just being my son and I and all the time we had together and when I get really busy with the baby and he's showing signs of needing more attention I feel torn. I try to set aside time when the baby is napping and not feel compelled to do house chores etc. so I can play with him one on one. Even if it's for 15 minutes it makes a huge difference.

Don't stress! Just take it one day at a time. I do notice the 2nd time around I'm not as worried about when DD is crying and I know she's fed, clean and warm and she's just being fussy. With my son I was a mess. Good luck!

[Turquesa]

BTDT. All the way. Stop, breath, and think SURVIVAL MODE. This means quick-and-dirty meals, messy house, lots and lots of outside help. Do you have outside help....I hope??

Also take heart. Different babies have completely different temperaments. DD was a--shall we say--spirited baby, so I was surprised when DS turned out to be super easy-going. That may not be the case for you, but just don't let your experience with your first baby color your expectations of your second. Keep posting back with updates. You WILL get through this. I promise. It's still hard for me, but it's really calmed down since DS was born 6 months ago!

[Michigan Mama]

mama. It is hard at the beginning. It's hard balancing everything and figuring out how to spend your time and make sure they both get what they need. It will get better! Hang in there! I felt like this before #2 was born and for alittle while after, but every week it got better and by 6 weeks, I was totally in a rhythm and felt comfortable and confident. Of course, we had great moments before that, just it was around 6 weeks where I would say it was more "smooth sailing".

If you think you could be dealing with ppd, it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor, but i'm certainly no expert on that. Anyway, chin up, mama. Be gentle with yourself!

One tip I got from my MIL was that it's ok to let the baby cry once in a while to attend to your older child. Baby will get over it and won't really remember if you let her cry for a minute or two. Obviously I'm not saying to ignore the baby. It's just that the older one remembers and understands and will feel hurt if they aren't getting enough attention. Baby doesn't. And just like I tell Salvador he has to wait sometimes when I'm helping the baby, sometimes I'll tell Santiago, "Wait just a minute, mama is helping Salvador right now", more for the sake of Salvador, so he knows he gets top priority sometimes, too. I'm not sure I'm explaining this well, but hth.

Peace, mama.

[sunshadow]

I have a three week old and so far so good. Though my first born was a much more intense baby and she didn't sleep at all. My dh and I were so "traumatized by it that when we found out we were pregnant again we were scared to say the least. He is so calm though and sleeps great. I can hardly believe babies can be calm like he is. So far my daughter has really understood when I need to attend to him and it's always worked out that I've had plenty of time for her when she needs me. I do miss the one on one with her. We have had a couple quick mommy and dd outings, which has been really nice. I hope things go well for you also. I've had moments like that though.

[DaisyMay]

BTDT. All the way. Stop, breath, and think SURVIVAL MODE. This means quick-and-dirty meals, messy house, lots and lots of outside help. Do you have outside help....I hope??

Yeah - totally what she says! Remember this is the hardest time hormones-wise - and for me the 4-day baby-blues was much harder 2nd time round - definitely give yourself a huge break on everything possible; no guilt, no giving yourself a hard time over anything, no thinking about anything other than getting through your day as well as you can. Remember - you're giving your son the greatest gift ever - a sister to love him his whole life and a playmate and friend. And you will be fine -everything will be fine.

[sarahtdubb]

Thanks so much, mamas. I really needed some assurance from moms who have been there! definitely in survival mode... especially because my new babe will not sleep at night. ahhh!!!!!

[almadianna]

I was there too a while back (not too long my baby is 17 months old) because my kids are 20 months apart.

I felt awful and did not think I could do it... I could hardly handle one.. but TWO!!

What the mamas said above is right, understand that the house will be messier... meals might be different and you will be tired, but it is ok. I promise. Many moms have done it before us and we are just as awesome as they were.