my xh.... he is off running around with his girlfriend (the one he cheated with) most likely at the olympics (seriously) but can't afford to pay child support on time. he keeps calling me a baby and says I need to stop asking him to bail me out and do me favors. I am not asking for a freaking bail out. I am asking him to pay his child support on time. every time. he was late last month which made all my bills late. again this month. and yet he is pressuring me to refinance the house. which I can not do because paying bills late wrecked my credit. what was left of it. yet this is all my fault. his solution is that I give him the kids so they can hang out with him and his girlfriend so I can work a second job. Oh heck no!! If he would pay on time every time I wouldn't have to work so much and there is no way he is getting them one more minute that the law forces me to give them to him. i have to protect them from him and make sure they don't turn into him as it is. 
am I being irrisponsible for not going out and making more money while he takes the kids? if you guys tell me to get off my lazy butt and go I will but I am trying to be a good monther with what little time I have with them. I work about 30 hours a week (just short of benefits) and cannot get a full time job because I cannot work every weekend or nights. I am working on it. and I work about 30 hours a week from home making stuff to sell on etsy and it makes about $100 a month. not a lot but helps. there is month in the summer and christmas where I will make considerably more.
of course all his financial problems are my fault. screw that. and he had the nerve to talk about how cool he is for taking the debt (which kept me from taking half the business and having adultry as the grounds for divorce. yeah, his motives were super duper....) and how bad I was for getting into debt (most of my debt is medical bills). he even said he was cool because he over paid child support for six months and didn't ask for it back. that money was awarded to me by the courts. again, thanks for being the anti-hero. He stuck me with the house I could not afford. and has no desire to take it back and deal with renters and crap. another reason I cannot keep up. but I cannot sell it without wrecking his credit which I think it is pretty cool of me to hang in there for his sake. but I am about done. even if it means I have to pay more every month at elast I will not have to depend on renters. I am done depending on people to pay me what they owe me.
I am just so sick of all of this. I want a husband. a real husband who will hold me and protect me and take care of me. who likes me. because he thinks I am actually likable. I want a family. I want my kids. I am so tired of being completly and totally alone. but instead I am all alone forced to depend on my xh for money. and it is making me hate him. and I don't want to be a hater. but I am cold and hungry. which makes me cranky. but I have no food and can't afford to pay the heating bill.
i hate this.
i hate that I married such a man as this.
sorry to be so whiney. but my friends and everyone else is tired of hearing it. and don't really get how hard it is. don't understand that I have to protect the kids from him. that I can't just get a sitter but have to run everything by him. wait for his response.
am I being irrisponsible for not going out and making more money while he takes the kids? if you guys tell me to get off my lazy butt and go I will but I am trying to be a good monther with what little time I have with them. I work about 30 hours a week (just short of benefits) and cannot get a full time job because I cannot work every weekend or nights. I am working on it. and I work about 30 hours a week from home making stuff to sell on etsy and it makes about $100 a month. not a lot but helps. there is month in the summer and christmas where I will make considerably more.
of course all his financial problems are my fault. screw that. and he had the nerve to talk about how cool he is for taking the debt (which kept me from taking half the business and having adultry as the grounds for divorce. yeah, his motives were super duper....) and how bad I was for getting into debt (most of my debt is medical bills). he even said he was cool because he over paid child support for six months and didn't ask for it back. that money was awarded to me by the courts. again, thanks for being the anti-hero. He stuck me with the house I could not afford. and has no desire to take it back and deal with renters and crap. another reason I cannot keep up. but I cannot sell it without wrecking his credit which I think it is pretty cool of me to hang in there for his sake. but I am about done. even if it means I have to pay more every month at elast I will not have to depend on renters. I am done depending on people to pay me what they owe me.
I am just so sick of all of this. I want a husband. a real husband who will hold me and protect me and take care of me. who likes me. because he thinks I am actually likable. I want a family. I want my kids. I am so tired of being completly and totally alone. but instead I am all alone forced to depend on my xh for money. and it is making me hate him. and I don't want to be a hater. but I am cold and hungry. which makes me cranky. but I have no food and can't afford to pay the heating bill.
i hate this.
i hate that I married such a man as this.
sorry to be so whiney. but my friends and everyone else is tired of hearing it. and don't really get how hard it is. don't understand that I have to protect the kids from him. that I can't just get a sitter but have to run everything by him. wait for his response.
. I am not inclined to sympathy.
