I think I'm done with Breastfeeding -- Help!

[DiannaK]

OK ... I'm cutting to the chase. BFing my boys is about to drive me over a cliff --- if they nursed a reasonable amount of times during the day, or didn't diddle me while they nursed, or pinch/kick me, etc, then I might be able to muddle through.

I'm just exhausted, and frustrated. This is the longest that I've nursed a baby, and I'm just TIRED. They don't sleep well at night, or nap well during the day, and I'm just desperate for some sort of semblance of a routine in my life.
(just realized that all my posts sound.the.same. SIGH!)

Who has weaned twin toddlers?? Is there an easier way to go about this??? I try to distract them, and do the 'don't offer, but don't refuse', but these boys are boobie nuts!!

[kjoy2]

It sounds like you need to wean, Dianna. 20 months is great!!

Could you decide when you are going to nurse and then stick to those limits? For ex, maybe at wake up, before nap, and before bedtime. Then if a babe asks for milk mid-morning, say, "Not now, but before your nap." Distract with activity or whatever works. I bet that if you are consistent, loving, and offer distraction, they'll be okay with it after a few days.

[2boyzmama]

20 months with twins...CONGRATULATIONS!!!

My only suggestion might be to try to wait until the weather is warmer...it might be easier to offer distractions and stick to a routine if you can get outside, you know?

If you don't want to fully wean, then setting some limits is definitely appropriate. Pick times that you're okay with nursing, and stick with those only. Stay active and busy to avoid lulls in the day where they might be tempted to nurse. Have a huge smile and excited voice at the ready at all times: "no, we can't nurse, we have to get ready to go to STORY TIME! LET'S GO!!! Who can get their shoes on faster???!"

You're awesome!

[lesliesara63]

I don't have twins, but I know one 20mth old can make you crazy with their nursing demands, let alone two! I found with both of mine that setting limits and sticking to it helped me to last a few months longer until they were more ready to wean. We went to 3x a day which was hard and then stayed at that for a few months. I think its awesome that you've nursed twins for so long!

[Shuli]

I weaned mine at 18 months, so cudos for you for going this long. I cut them down to three times a day, when they woke up, at nap time in the middle of the day, and right before bed. If they wanted in between, I would offer a sippy cup of water or milk instead. That way they were still drinking, still sucking, but not on me.

After a week or so, I stopped offering them in the middle of the day and gave them a cup of milk instead and then after a few weeks for bed time I would give them a bottle of milk which we phased out into a bottle of water, which D still has to put himself to sleep. With the morning, I just made sure that I was up and dressed before I went into their room when they woke up, got them dressed right away and then we went downstairs to play. I don't even think that they noticed when I phased that one out.

This whole process took about a month and their was actually no crying, begging or pleading to be nursed because I substituted something else for it which worked for us.

Good luck!

[carycaj]

oh man, i am right there with you. i have been cutting back during the day but i swear they are making up for it at night! im up almost every hour and am at my wit's end! this mama needs sleep! every hour, all.night.long.

here's my problem......if i dont nurse the awake one asap at night, the crying wakes the sleeping one and then they keep each other (and dh and myself) awake. so how do you night wean 21 mo olds?? it wasn't a prob w/ my singletons but having another baby crying (i sleep in the middle of them and dh is on a matress next to ours) makes night weaning seem impossible. any advice is appreciated

[4Marmalade]

Way to go nursing them. We're at 20 months too. I haven't quite reached the point you're at yet but some days are harder than others. When I cut back on the number of nursings with my older dc's we took a very gradula approach and did a lot of techniques already posted. Mostly it was distraction, distraction, distraction in a very upbeat voice. I could hardly ever sit down or they would want to nurse right away. I think if you can get it down to 3x a day (morning, naptime and nighttime) that might help. Do you have any help in putting them to sleep? About half the time dh puts our two to bed and I can avoid the nighttime nursing. I do that on those bad days when I've nursed them often enough in the afternoon and they've had a decent dinner.

carycaj - we nightweaned by having dh taking over the cuddling, soothing at night. We cosleep so he just stayed in bed with them and I left and slept elsewhere. There were a few nights of fussing and waking each other up and if they got really upset I would go in and nurse them but really they started sleeping without nursing in a matter of weeks. They still go back to nightnursing when they're sick.

[~bookcase~]

mine are 16.5 months and i'm starting to set limits. i tried to nightwean ds and he went mental so it seems easier to distract in the daytime with snacks, a drink, a walk, a cuddle, a story etc....

i would love some more sleep too. they still nurse hourly through the night on a regular basis. when we tried a couple of nights of less frequent milk ds went crazy the third night and i couldn't move away from him w'out him screaming. not good. i ended up having to tandem every time dd woke for milk

i've also shortened the feed times during the day in the sense that it's not open house for 15 mins. if they come off after a reasonable drink then i'm not playing on/off etc!!

dd is still v v v petite (around 14lbs) so no way i want to nightwean her. she'd miss a ton of calories. but am happy for them both to have more snacks to replace b'feeding in the day sometimes. 1-2 hours feeding round the clock for 16 months starts to get less fun.

if you want to wean cold turkey you just have to be consistent and try to get out a lot. i hope limits work for you so that it can be a bit slower weaning, but i am really against b'feeding once mama has had ENOUGH because those feelings get fed along with the milk and it can cause long term issues with everyone imo.

oh, mine also hardly sleep day/night unless i'm right next to them. it's exhausting on many levels but they grow so fast i'm trying to stay centred and focused iykwim. they might be my last little ones (sentimental sniff )

[DeerMother]

good advice here. I'd also rec smoothies as a replacement for one nursing.

We nightweaned first, about 17 months. Then I slowly started cutting out day feedings until it was just morning and before bed. Then I cut out morning by having breakfast ready as soon as they were awake. Evening was cut out w/ the help of dh at 22 months. Dc were more interested in playing with him then nursing and had started goofing around too much for me to bother with it anymore.(they would nurse for about 30 seconds) At night we now do cow milk in a glass which is a novel thing for them.

You've done a great job! I actually felt closer to my children after they weaned. I was able to rock them to sleep for the first time!! We now cuddle w/o someone having to touch my breasts, it's great.

[DiannaK]

I just wanted to say that I LOVE you all, and this is why I count this board as one of my greatest blessings and support system. You all just 'get it'.

Gotta run -- have date night later, so I have to get ready!

[nummies]

Kudos to you for 20 months mama!! You deserve some sort of medal!

[kalynnsmom]

Congrats on nursing twins for 20 months! That's awesome!

I totally can relate to how you feel. I am nursing my 3 year old twin boys and they would drive me NUTS when they nursed. I started placing limits and limiting their time. I would limit their time by either telling them "when I get to 10, nah nah all done!" It's sooo much better now that I placed limits on them. They nurse once a day and only for a few minutes.

Though, like you, I'm ready for them to wean completely and not sure how to stop that last nursing session.

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by kalynnsmom

! Though, like you, I'm ready for them to wean completely and not sure how to stop that last nursing session.

Forgive me for just jumping in here but I weaned my ds1 from that last nursing session when he was just about to turn 3. We had gone to a friend's birthday party and he was very excited about the blue cake they had. He kept saying he wanted one so I brought up the idea of a weaning party in which we could celebrate with a blue cake after he was done having mama's milk. We talked about it here and there over the course of a few weeks. I didn't push it at all although ds kept talking about it so one day we just decided to go ahead and make the cake. I totally thought he wasn't ready and he would want to go right back to nursing the next day but he didn't (and I wasn't going to force the issue). He did nurse a couple of times over the next few weeks but it was pretty much over from then on. So, for him the weaning party was a nice idea. Anyway, just wanted to mention my experience. I'm sure with twins it is a little trickier. One of mine is waaaay more attached to nursing than the other so I can only imagine how weaning will go when that time comes.