Would you do this?

[AFWife]

A close friend recently quit her job. She was working with family and had been really really unhappy (like, depressed and on medication) for many years now. She's been a SAHM for a few weeks and said she already feels much better. So, for her, right?

However, we all know that when you go from two incomes to a single income that something must go...and for them it was paying their credit card bills.


Would you do that? Just STOP paying your credit card bills?

DH and I talked about it and, personally, we'd find other places to scrimp and save before we did that...


So I wanted some other opinions!

[GoBecGo]

She can't stop paying them really though. She can stop for a while but the debt will continue to grow and eventually she will pay, one way or another, for those CC's.

[jennlyn]

I honestly hope that if she isn't paying her credit card bill that she has ,at the very least, stopped using the card. I think this is about personal responsibility and everyone has different interpretations of what that constitutes. For me, I would skimp elsewhere in order to at least pay the minimum. I am glad your friend is feeling better and less stressed but sooner or later they will need to get a handle on their finances or it will create another kind of stress for their family.

[AFWife]

I'm pretty sure that she doesn't use the cards right now....but, honestly, I can't say 100%. I didn't want to get into interest and whatnot. She was on such a high and I didn't want to be a downer. The companies have already started calling them constantly.

[griffin2004]

with cc debt, you can run but you can't hide; sticking your head in the sand doesn't make them go away

[leavemealone]

I suppose it's a possible solution in the very short therm, but eventually it will come back and haunt them. I predict a bankruptcy filing in their future.

[EFmom]

Nope. I'd find it way more stressful to have the debt pile up. I'd work in finding a new job if I hated the one I had.

And honestly, I could not be a SAHM. I'd last ten minutes.

[GoBecGo]

Well i AM a SAHM, due to the fact that *I* couldn't handle being a WOH or WAHM - seriously you ladies who do that are AMAZING! But for us me being a SAHM is something we have to work around financially, and NOT paying a bill doesn't work around anything, it's just denial.

Hopefully now she's so much less stressed she'll figure out a way to make a few $, talk to her creditors and find a way to pay these bills off anyway. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I personally would find creditors hassling me very stressful so if i WERE working and wanting to stop i'd have to find a way to pay those things off BEFORE i left my job.

[Alyantavid]

No, I'd keep my job and pay my bills.

[Knittin' in the Shade]

whoa, no. No way, no how. Nuh-huh.

[pbjmama]

Honestly if I was that depressed, yes, I might do what she did. I would not see it as a long term solution to just not pay bills. But a baby step out of depression could be staying home and she plans to take the next step when she can?

If you were physically sick because of your workplace would you quit your job and not pay your cc bills until you could figure something out? If she is clinically depressed it is a very similar situation. Except having a mental illness doesn't seem to count in our society.

[*green*faery*]

This kind of situation can be really easy to judge without knowing all the details.

I, personally, am in a tight situation. I have not shared it with anyone else except my mom, not even my BF knows because I don;t think she would understand. We are living within a strict budget. Despite taking on small jobs from home (baby sitting and ebay selling), we are not able to pay our debt, not able to make the min. payment (they all went up), etc. I could always go back to my old job and make a little more then childcare for 2 kids would cost, but that is not in the best interest of my family or me. There are of coarse many, many details to every situation (no family around us, dh works 50+hrs a week, some cc debt from home repairs from natural disaster not covered by ins., etc) We have stopped paying our cc and are filing BK. sucks I know. always thought 'I would do anything to avoid that' but the other options are less desirable. Never say never.

The cc companies will start stocking her and evetually sue her if she does not pay. She will either have to catch up on payments, or file BK at some point.

I'm glad that she is feeling better and hope she either finds another job soon and finds the right path for her, her family, and her situation.

Blessings-

[starling&diesel]

I wouldn't be okay with that AT ALL.
I'd take in another child to look after and put that money towards those bills.

[laohaire]

No. And this is a family who went from 2 incomes to 1 because we were both going insane. I really support people who make changes and don't just accept that "everybody hates their jobs, you just have to deal." So even with that point of view, no, I wouldn't quit my job and stop paying bills. I'd make some other plan.

I'd wait to quit until I had another job lined up. I'd pay off my debt first. I'd sell my stuff on eBay and Craigslist. I'd do consulting from home on the side. I'd consolidate for a smaller payment. I'd borrow from relatives. I'd do any of those before just saying "oh well."

[leavemealone]

Originally Posted by AFWife

A close friend recently quit her job. She was working with family and had been really really unhappy (like, depressed and on medication) for many years now. She's been a SAHM for a few weeks and said she already feels much better. So, for her, right?

I know jobs are hard to come by in a lot of places, but I would be pretty unhappy if I worked with my family. That may be part of the problem. Some families can work together very well and get along while others can't. It's often hard to separate work and family when the two are intermingled. I probably would have tried to find a job that didn't involve working with family before resorting to quitting and not paying my bills. I know it's not always that easy and it's not stated if she'd tried that, but I would have gone that route first. As I said earlier, I predict a bankruptcy filing in the their future. Once one credit card bill gets behind, it's very hard to catch up and things snowball out of control. I speak from experience on this...

[bmhpke96]

I would tell her to find a lawyer and start the process of filing for BK. Then when creditors call her she just needs to give them her lawyer's name and tell them to call the lawyer. That should help her stress level. Maybe after a while she will be up for looking for a new job.

[annethcz]

No, that is not a choice I would make.

[_ktg_]

Originally Posted by AFWife

A close friend recently quit her job. She was working with family and had been really really unhappy (like, depressed and on medication) for many years now. She's been a SAHM for a few weeks and said she already feels much better. So, for her, right?

However, we all know that when you go from two incomes to a single income that something must go...and for them it was paying their credit card bills.


Would you do that? Just STOP paying your credit card bills?

DH and I talked about it and, personally, we'd find other places to scrimp and save before we did that...


So I wanted some other opinions!

Is this a permanent decision to stop paying them or just a temporary thing until they get their budget squared away a bit better and work on the scrimping and saving to make those payments?

I feel squishy to just say that's wrong, wrong , wrong.
We don't know all the details of their finances or those credit card bills so it might be an ok thing for a while to try and get into a better place.

[CookiePie]

Originally Posted by pbjmama

Honestly if I was that depressed, yes, I might do what she did. I would not see it as a long term solution to just not pay bills. But a baby step out of depression could be staying home and she plans to take the next step when she can?

If you were physically sick because of your workplace would you quit your job and not pay your cc bills until you could figure something out? If she is clinically depressed it is a very similar situation. Except having a mental illness doesn't seem to count in our society.

I personally wouldn't feel secure being in a situation where I couldn't work and therefore couldn't pay the CC bills, weather it was caused from depression or cancer. I can see how it could happen and I'd do whatever I had to to get healthy & try my best to pay the bills. Ideally I'd try to set something up prior to quitting, but not knowing all the details that might not have been an option for her. If I was able to work elsewhere where my illness didn't bother me I would.

But I totally agree with pbjmama that depression is an illness and it can be just as debilitating as any another illness.

[jeminijad]

Where I am in my life now, no, I wouldn't do it.

But if my misery at work was worse than the misery having terrible credit and being plagued by collections, then maybe I could. If you've got a roof over your head and food in your stomach, and you are happy each morning, it is imaginable to blow off the somewhat abstract concepts of paying to maintain good credit and future finances.