Very verbal DD resisting Potty

[Trinitty]

Hello,

Our DD is 23 months old. She talks a LOT and understands pretty much everything we say to her.

We are very connected to her. She was cloth diapered for the first year and a half, then I had to go back to work and DH stayed home with her full time and he switched to disposables.

When she was about 18 months old, she started #2 in the potty every morning for about two weeks straight, it was awesome, and I thought we were cruising to an early potty-learned finish. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing and WANTED to do it. She even asked me to look away.

But, we travelled to a family wedding at that time and her schedule was thrown off. She didn't use the potty at the grandparents' home where we were staying at all.

She hasn't pooped (sorry, never typed that word and it's bugging me) in the potty since then. She pees sometimes when I encourage her to sit and try, but, she just doesn't seem interested.

We ask her all of the time if she wants to go potty, we take her there and sit her on it several times a day, we have really pretty panties that she loves that she gets to wear when she goes potty..... but it's not working.

She peed in the potty this morning, I made a big deal out of it, clapping and dancing and put her in her pretty panties..... Then she pooped in them. One step forward, three back.

How do I convince her that pooping in the potty is the best idea, ever?

I am really regretting not ECing her. She is SO smart and SO verbal, I imagine she would have done it.

Trin.

[sapphire_chan]

Even with ECing kids often go through potty strikes, so don't kick yourself over that one too much. (but do try with kid #2 if you're planning on more than one! even getting out of one poopy diaper is really great!)

Have you tried just being matter of fact that it's time to go on the potty instead of asking if she wants/needs to? No wait, she'll sit on the potty no problem, just not poop there... hmmmm Do you have a little potty she can sort of squat on instead of sit? That's something lots of kids need.

Especially if she stands to poop in her panties/diaper, an ikea potty or a baby bjorn little potty could make a big difference.

[Trinitty]

THANK YOU for replying.

Tell me more about the different potties.

The one we have is pretty huge, safety first convertable thing with a lid.

Trin.

[OTMomma]

I just wanted to share a story from the other side- my first dd was also very smart, very verbal, seemed ready to pt at 18 months- and then didn't. As a matter of fact, she was well over 3 before she was fully potty trained. I tried everything- bribes, charts with stars and prizes, praise, you get the idea, and the more I pushed, the more she resisted. I had to wait for her to decide it was time to do it. It was such a miserable, drawn out experience, that I decided I just wouldn't potty train my second- I just wasn't going to bring it up at all. Interestingly, my second has decided to potty train, and is now in undies most of the time at 2 1/2- with SO much less work from me.

Looking back- I think I treated my oldest as though she was a lot older than she was, because she spoke so well. It wasn't fair to her. I wish I had dropped it, and let her come back to it in her own good time.

[Violet2]

My experience is they do the potty thing at their own pace or not at all. Our job is just to pave the way.

DD spends lots of days naked on the bottom with free access to the potty and just occasional reminders from me. This works best for us. Put pants into the equation and we have issues. I've come to realize that she'll get there eventually. Probably 6-12 months later than I want, but it's not my bladder. At the moment DD is reliable enough that we're working on keeping underwear and pants dry.

I've learned just to go with the flow. DD will pee all over the place. She will (or won't ) poop at the wrong/right time. It is what it is. All I do is clean the potty and offer the choice of diaper, pull-up or underwear today?

And when she does go in the potty, we emphasize her 'power'. You put your pee pee in the potty. You did it!

So I guess my advice is don't worry too much about it. We did find Potty Training Dvds helpful and there are some great potty training books out there. ..

A Potty for Me

Where's the poop Great for younger toddlers. Lift the flap and find the poop while talking about how everyone poops.


It Hurts When I Poop This has some pretty big concepts that do better with older toddlers ime, but still a good book.

ETA: I would not worry about poop at all. Because you can easily get into poop witholding where they won't go at all and that is a whole other drama. Don't go there if you can help it (we still went there even though we never emphasized poop in the potty--we focused more on pee. DD now goes poop in the potty on her own, we just read the books to her and made the potty available. If she wanted a diaper for pooping, we gave it to her. No pressure. Do you want to poop in the potty? No, you want a diaper? Sure!). If there are poop problems, Miralax is your friend. You can find it at Target.

V

[pbjmama]

How do I convince her that pooping in the potty is the best idea, ever?

You don't. She has to decide. She will not be convinced and the more you react (good or bad) the more power she has. My advice to to remain completely neutral no matter what happens. I wouldn't even talk about it with her or around her. It may motivate her to see an older friend or cousin using the potty but resist the urge to say oh look what they did!

[Trinitty]

This is very educational.

I will back off for a bit. She is still little. I don't want to freak her out.

Should I get a smaller potty though?

Trin.

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by Trinitty

This is very educational.

I will back off for a bit. She is still little. I don't want to freak her out.

Should I get a smaller potty though?

Trin.

We did end up with 2 potties after not liking the first one. You want something easy for her to get on and off of.

It's up to you if you buy one or not.

V

[philomom]

My mom found a slighter older playmate for our reluctant to potty train younger brother. Once he saw the "big" kid go a few times... that was all it took.


But yeah, a different potty sometimes helps. My dd liked the wooden one that sat on the floor and had its own paper and spot for a book. My son preferred the kind that has the two steps and sits over the grown up potty.

[anechka]

I think this is my second time posting at the forum. My daughter is 17 months and uses potty well during the day. We put a diaper on her at night. I have started training her when she was 12 months old. I have stopped using diapers when she turned 12 months and put cotton underwear on her during the day. First couple of months, she peed everywhere! But I just kept putting her on the potty every 30-40 minutes during the day. She resisted at first but then got used to it. Also, I have never made a big deal out of the potty training. I just kept putting her on it and eventually she got it. Never used praise, rewards or the like. The routine works best with kids. Also, I am myself from Russia and we have always trained kids early. During the USSR times there were no diapers, and now they are available but pricey. Besides, when a kid is potty trained, it makes your life so much easier. No hassle with diapers, constant baths and diaper rushes.