Originally Posted by Cascadian
I think I need context....how messy are we talking? Like, mold and smells? Rotten food? Or just junk/crumbs/stuff everywhere?
Does your DD like order? Does she have sensory issues? Are you very clean at home?
I can see her point if it's the smell issue - she may just be more sensitive.
Messy, clutter, projectiles, smells (from past meals, I have no idea as I have no sense of smell), rotten food (probably somewhere I have no clue). (My own car reeked of onions/burgers when we ate In-N-Out Burgers in my car a couple of times and I learned NEVER to do that again.)
DD (and her older brother chimed in "yes, it's true") says that one of the car seats in the back is the "throw up" seat where one of the kids threw up and DD hates having to sit there because it still smells. I doubt that, but whatever. I think it's just the "idea" of being in the seat that bugs her more. But the other seat is dirty with food (as hers gets also, so I have to periodically clean it up, even vacuum it) and she hates it on her clothes.
Most moms I know have messy mini-vans and she was asking me tonight "OK, I'll ride in everyone else's..." minus this friend. Why? I'm guessing the "puke" seat among other smells (and visible stains).
Yes, she loves order. She prefers an environment that is consistent, secure, and ordered. She is a neat kid herself. When she was 14 months or so she was picking up her own bath toys on her own
and I couldn't believe it. I always just left them there.
No sensory issues. DD never said anything about it to my friend.
I'm not clean at home. I wish I were a neat freak. I'm a bit of a slob. Clutter is my problem. But I've forced myself to clear out my own car every 3 days or so (even * gasp * vacuuming it) if it gets bad enough because I find myself happier in clear-of-crap-and-projectiles car. If my carseat covers get bad enough, I put them through the washer and they come out like new.
|I'd just drive dc myself. I might not be willing to drive everyday but playdates don't need to be daily. And if my friend offered to drive, I'd just say dc is more comfortable with me driving her and leave it at that.
Yeah, but I'm too honest! My friend asked me point blank today "is it because of my car?" and I replied, "yeah" and I know she was upset.
So just white lie? 4evermom, how would you have answered her?
Part of me wants her to just "learn to deal" for a short 5 minute ride ("it's not short mom") and accept the ride. I don't want her to be a snob. (Doubtful.) But the other part feels bad that it's hard for her right now to do it and if it got to me as much as it got to her, I wouldn't appreciate being "forced to" either. So I'm wondering if I'm playing into this too much.
After reading all the replies (thank you all) I was going to post, "that's it... she's either going to ride home in her car for the occassional playdate or not go." But then I started to see it from her side.