Things your mother says.

[Beauchamp]

So last night (while visiting at my mom's house), I finally get LO to bed and my mom wants me to stay up and watch a movie. I told her that I haven't been able to get any time to myself and just felt like washing my face and brushing my teeth and going to bed, since DD would likely be up in 2 hours.

And then she just looks at me blankly and says, "But it's nighttime!"

Yes Mom, I'm a bad mama because my kid doesn't STTN. I guess DD didn't get the memo on the fact that "it's nighttime."

[AFWife]

It's actually my MIL.

DS didn't care about solids until he hit 9 months. That's when he started mooching and getting his feelings hurt when we didn't share. So, we started solids for real (we did bites and tastes before that but it was more of a game for him than anything else) MIL has pushed us to give him cereal since he was 8 weeks old (because nursing constantly means he's not getting enough right?) and real solids since he was 4 months.

Over the weekend she said this to DS (he's 10months), "I was afraid you'd have a full mouth of teeth before they let you have any solids." DH jumped in and said something like, "We waited until he asked for them."

[meemee]

my mom's pretty cool. and she lives half the world away. one of the things she would ALWAYS ask me was what was i doing for myself.

when she would tell me 'dont put your baby first. take care of yourself first and then take care of your baby." i poopooed her on this and thought she was crazy. what kind of a mom puts herself first. soon i learnt otherwise. MIL and my mom made me promise that i would eat my dinner at a decent time rather than at 10 or 11 pm (then dh wasnt around much).

if there was one advice that helped me it was that. i just never imagined how i would not even find time to brush my teeth in teh morning. how little time i would have. add a marriage breaking down - i was a total mess.

[BlueWolf]

My mom was watching my 7 month old on Monday because I had the intestinal flu really bad. She came over at 7am right after DD woke up. She takes her from our bed and asks, "What does she eat for breakfast?" I told her she'd take a bottle. My mom got all confused, "You mean she doesn't eat cereal for breakfast? Her cousin devours cereal every morning!" My niece (DD cousin) is only 5 months old! Anyways, we're letting DD lead the way on solids and she's not overly interested in them yet anyways so we're not pushing it.

[tzs]

when we're with my MIL, we'll be eating dinner, socializing, whatever...and it's me and the babe together the whole time. you know...trying to get a few bites with a kid in your lap, maybe she's crying, nobody offers to help. then the minute there's no food in front of their faces anymore and we're about to leave, it's all "but i never get a chance to hold her! is it finally my turn?"
ugh....it's every single time too.

[zinemama]

Well, my mother told me that when five o'clock came around I should put my feet up and drink a glass of wine while nursing my baby. "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong," she said.

I figured if it worked for her back in the day (she nursed three kids) it was good enough for me.

[octobermoon]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Well, my mother told me that when five o'clock came around I should put my feet up and drink a glass of wine while nursing my baby. "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong," she said.

I figured if it worked for her back in the day (she nursed three kids) it was good enough for me.

sweet!!!

mom & MIL say i will spoil the baby by picking him up and not letting him cry. also that i should give him cereal by now, (he's only 5 mos and this was back when he was 3 mos)....what else....pretty much all the classics from the 1950s- ish generation.

[Mulvah]

Edited by Mulvah - 10/16/11 at 11:15am

[Kailey's mom]

LOL: I'm so glad I've learned to ignore the mom and MIL comments They are not that bad, and they have good intentions, but the comments are seriously not helpful.

MIL came to visit when my premature dd was 2 weeks old. She wasn't even 5 pounds at the time!! Anyway, we had a bassinet in the living room. I was always holding dd, doing kangaroo care etc. MIL looks at me and says "why in the world are you holding her, you need to learn to put her down" I started crying hysterically, put dd down, and went outside. DH followed me during my meltdown and told me it's ok, go back in and hold the baby.

MIL went to the store before she left to buy some presents for dd (same visit) She already knew I did not want her to have a paci (we were feeding on demand, she needed to gain weight). So, she comes home with a pacifier, and womb bear, and baby monitors. She said I would appreciate these later.

My mom: Same sort of things, although I can tell my mom to back off. I have no problem with that Dd started crying ALL THE TIME at 3 weeks old. My mom said "it's time for solids, that's what she is telling you!" umm.. no. My mom said that's when she started giving me solids. WOW. Another great one was when my daughter actually slept for 4 hours straight. Boy, did I need that. I was so happy that I was rested and called my mom. She wanted to know what I did different. I told her it was the first night I just started her in bed with us, instead of having the bassinet push up against the bed. Her reply "no wonder, you spoiler her.. I wouldn't make a habit of this"

There are more

[sparklefairy]

My "favorite" came when my kids were past the baby stage:
"Kids aren't people."

[ShwarmaQueen]

That DS will be stunted in growth if I extended breastfeed him (and she's a dietitian).

[JayJay]

I've mentioned this one before, but MIL asked me why on earth I couldn't give my DD Carnation evaporated milk diluted in a bottle so I could "get something done" -

I do love her though, I really do!

[Path2Felicity]

Oh, mannn... sooo many. Not just from my mom, but from EVERYONE in my family.

"Why are you so sensitive? She's fiiiine!"
"Why do you always pick her up?"
"Put her down."
"You REALLY want to breastfeed for that long? Why not just give formula?"
"Babies cry.. it helps expand their lungs!"

sigh. This is depressing!

[elus0814]

"why won't you supplement" while trying to convince me that the only way to "keep others comfortable" was to give the baby formula while I'm out of the house

"trying to nurse a baby with teeth is dangerous", she just doesn't get that he's not chewing me and is just drinking

the classic "you'll spoil him if you hold him all the time"

[mamacolleen]

My mum is thankfully a bit crunchy herself and hasn't commented on breastfeeding, holding the baby lots, co-sleeping, etc. In fact she encouraged us NOT to start solids until DD was 6 months old.

But she doesn't understand why DD is up so much at night and thinks I should "get that under control" Apparently all of her 7 kids were essentially STTN at 6 months (and she is not a CIO or sleep training parent at all, so I think she's remembering wrong personally). She also thinks it's "sad for me" that DD hates her stroller so much. Never mind that I don't mind too too much since I get to plop her in the ERGO and she's closer to me.

The worst comment by far though so came a few weeks post-partum after I was describing my nightmare of a traumatic birth to her. When I explained how I asked for the epidural at one point because of excruciating back pain.... she said how she had terrible back labour will all her babies and never once asked for the epidural. That hurt a lot.

[Ceinwen]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Well, my mother told me that when five o'clock came around I should put my feet up and drink a glass of wine while nursing my baby. "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong," she said.

I figured if it worked for her back in the day (she nursed three kids) it was good enough for me.

My mom brought me three Guinness beer when I was having supply issues and spent every waking moment focusing on feeding my dd - she said that I'd get a boost from the yeast, and maybe the teensy bit of alcohol would take the edge off of my nerves.

I my mom. She is my biggest supporter, was a super crunchy parent, and is an awesome rockin' AP grandparent.

[Auraji]

My mom since DD was like 3 months, she kept insisting , that I give her honey. I know about all the benefitials properties of honey but I also know babies can get a kind of food intoxication/allergy from it.
She always asks me why I dont put shoes on DD to wear INSIDE the house. She tells me that DD is too little to not like things.
My MIL, babies should cry every once in awhile to exercise their lungs and the classic, never let a man take care of your baby. The man in question being DP lol

[BlueWolf]

Back with one more...

My MIL says this ALL the time. Drives me up the wall.

I take DD back because she obviously wants me and is not calming down in an appropriate period of time with whoever is holding her. I'm not going to let my child cry just so MILs pride isn't hurt. Anyways..

Me (takes DD back)
MIL (nasty stare) "What? Does her crying bother you?"

Seriously? Of course it bothers me. Moms are programed to respond to their babies. Oh, I forget.. MIL told me when I was still pregnant that she just let her babies cry and did not go to them unless she wanted to. Urgh!


Oh and another MIL one...

She came over with soup because I had to flu really bad. She was holding DD while I ate a bit. But DD was tired (it was just before bed time) and hungry. So she kept reaching for me. MIL glares at me, and says to DD "You do NOT need your mother."

WTH?

Then DD kept crying and MIL says, "You have SUCH a temper!"

DD wasn't throwing her "temper" around. She was tired and hungry!

I swear this woman is negative all the time.

[Ceinwen]

Originally Posted by Auraji

My mom since DD was like 3 months, she kept insisting , that I give her honey. I know about all the benefitials properties of honey but I also know babies can get a kind of food intoxication/allergy from it.
She always asks me why I dont put shoes on DD to wear INSIDE the house. She tells me that DD is too little to not like things.
My MIL, babies should cry every once in awhile to exercise their lungs and the classic, never let a man take care of your baby. The man in question being DP lol

That's my personal fave from my ex-MIL... 'crying exercises their lungs'. This from the woman who stuck a double fingerfull of cherry cheesecake into dd2's mouth when she was three months old.

[blumooned]

Originally Posted by sparklefairy

My "favorite" came when my kids were past the baby stage:
"Kids aren't people."

This just made me sad, especially if it came from one of their grandmothers.
Babies & kids need to be respected by the adults in their lives, so their needs can be properly met. But, you all know that!

My mom is pretty like-minded to me - so I can actually ask her advice - we were raised pretty "crunchy"
DP's mom & stepmom get us, I guess. If there are comments, I just smile & nod if I don't agree.