Things your mother says. - Page 6

[Thursday Girl]

best advice from my mom- I had called asking if she could come over b/c i was about to pee my pants but the baby cried everytime i tried to put her down. "it's okay Courtney, you can lay the baby down while you pee."
me- "but she cries."
mom- "you have to take care of yourself, she will be okay while you pee."
that was the beginning of a much happier bladder.

step MIL- after we had been mean and yelled at dd#1 the night dd#2 was born. she kept coming into the room (of course she did, she had a brand new baby sister), and we were soooo exhausted (43 hour labor) that we just yelled at her and then dh chased her out of the room (okay yes we still feel bad about this) "imagine a scale, on one side put the things you have done wrong or regret and on the other put all the times you have done a good job and been a great parent. You're a great mom she knows that."

My mil does not agree with us on any parenting thing, but she NEVER tells us what to do, although iwas shocked when she told me that she just doesn't like baby's, she can't stand their crying. If they were dry and fed then she would just shut them in a room and let them cry. (she has 4 kids, the last has downs), my DH says they always propped the kids bottles. The ONE thing she did is when dd#1 was spending th night she cried at night and wanted to call me. I told her she could call me whenever even at night. MIL told her she couldn't call me b/c it was night. she never spent the night again.

my mom is/was pretty crunchy, i sontinued BF my first even though it hurt b/c i was afradid of her. When dd#1 was 2 and i was pregnant she kept trying to get me to quite breastfeeding b/c you can't feed 2 babies at the same time! I am a twin. she has often talked about football hodling each of us while e nursed. I told her this, her response "well you were the same age, it isn't fair to the baby to make her share."

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Thursday Girl

When dd#1 was 2 and i was pregnant she kept trying to get me to quite breastfeeding b/c you can't feed 2 babies at the same time! I am a twin. she has often talked about football hodling each of us while e nursed. I told her this, her response "well you were the same age, it isn't fair to the baby to make her share."

Hehe, sounds like the kind of thing I go through with my mom. She's so damn contrary. For example: my older sister was the clingy baby and could never be put down. She's 21 months older than me. So I'm pregnant again and these babies will be about 18 months apart.

Mom: You're going to have to put her down eventually, you're not going to be able to keep carrying her when you get farther along.
Me: Yeah. Because I'm sure you didn't pick up Amanda when you were pregnant with me.
Mom: *silence*

Because I'm starting to show already and will probably be even more huge than last time:

Mom: I think you're too small to have babies.
Me: Yeah, mom. Cause you're HUGE.
[she is 5'2" and 100 lbs soaking wet. I have an inch and about 20 pounds on her]

After a zillion comments about how Em needs to be eating more solid food and nursing less:
Me: So, we're night-weaning, it's going pretty good so far.
Mom: *pause* But... how is she going to get enough milk?
[she's a year old and eats and nurses like a horse all day long... she's fine for 7 hours]

That and she just always has to make some critical comment about what she's eating, what she's wearing, what she's doing. Nothing important, just annoying. Like the other day when we were visiting and I give Em some cut up peaches and cheerios for lunch. She's all "Why don't you ever give the child some meat? Can't she eat fish?" Me: "She does. All the time." Her: *grumble grumble*

Oh and she's all rolling her eyes that I want to make a cake for Em's birthday party that isn't loaded with sugar and crap.
Mom: "YA'LL had real cake on YOUR first birthdays, and you absolutely loved it."
Me: "Well mom, I tell you what, next time YOU have a baby, you can feed it whatever you want."

At least she did laugh at that one. She should, I get my smart mouth from her.

[octobermoon]

the other day after i told my mom we were introducing solids and that DS didn't really seem to like the food all that well she told me to add sugar to it! yeah i'll get right on that mom, thanks.

oh and then she said he was late crawling. he JUST turned 6 mos like a week ago.

[Beauchamp]

My mother recently called me to tell me that a particular cartoon was on TV. She was emphatic about how good it would be for DD to watch TV, how she would love seeing the movement, the colors, etc. *sigh*

She said she was also "so relieved" to see pictures in my online album of DD playing with a plastic, blinky-blinky activity table. (My MIL sent us one--she said we HAD to have it.) Nothing against those kind of toys, but we constantly tell my mom to limit plastic stuff or dollar store stuff and she can't understand why.

[goinggreengirl]

MIL had a ton of gems when she was here.
- Stop breastfeeding when he gets teeth. She stopped BF when DH got teeth at 8 months and gave him cow's milk, juice and water.
- Give him cereal or mashed up banana mixed with lots of milk in a bottle (so it will come out) so he sleeps better.
- He must be cold because he's sneezing. (He has sneezed regularly since he was born, even in 80 degree weather.)
- He spit up, he can't be hungry, don't nurse him.
- You need to put him down more.
- You need to circumcise him, it will hurt more if he has to be circumcised later. (Umm, you mean, when they can give him pain medication for during and after?) She actually called recently to tell me a story of a friend's cousin's husband's father who had to be circ'ed at 93. yeah, cuz a possible problem in 90 years makes it necessary to have it done now.

[Nicole730]

There are a few, but my favorites all regard nursing, everytime there is a comment.

-That was quick
-She's still eating?
-You haven't fed her in awhile
-She's eating again?

I usually respond, yup to everything. Sometimes I remind her that 2 hours have passed. Or if she's nursing one hour after last time, I just smile and say, remember how quick it was last time?

[kitteh]

I was recently talking to my mom about how we plan to do extended breastfeeding, and she asked about what happens when they get teeth, if they bite mommy, and what I could do about it. I told her about some things I'd read on here and elsewhere and then she told me that when my brother and I were little she had problems with us biting. "Not me," she said, "but other kids" (She didn't breastfeed my brother and only breastfed me til about 4 months.)

Since I'm a first timer I responded that I didn't even want to think about the challenges that might be in store for us down the road. The "terrible twos" and toddler stuff still kind of terrifies me, since I'm not the most patient woman in the world. I think I said "Gosh, I don't even know what I'd do if my little one was biting other kids! I'd feel horrible! How do you get them to stop?"

And she said

"You bite them back. So they know how it feels"

LOL WTF, MOM?!

And when I laughed about that comment she said "Well not HARD, just enough so they know that it hurts."



So I guess she wasn't joking.

[SaoirseC]

My family isn't crunchy at all, but they have been supportive of at least some of our choices (and silent about most of the rest). The last time I visited my mom, both my mom and stepdad told me how they really felt that I should be able to have a homebirth if I wanted to (they know about my UCs and my activism to try to legalize CPMs in our state). They even offered to help with contacting their legislators (this is my mom, who told me on a camping trip that she didn't want to eat any of my organic food, as if it would be disgusting or something)! They also said something really sweet about babies wanting to be close to their mommies- I think it was in regard to cosleeping (which I thought they were both against). My dad has been really super supportive of breastfeeding and our decision to eat healthy food, and has told me several times how happy he is that we are making these choices. OTOH, he's really against home schooling (what about socialization?)

My IL's share a lot of the same parenting ideals as we do, though they did not cosleep, and my MIL "couldn't understand why" I'd tandem nurse, and was also really against our choice to UC (but was silent the second time we UC'ed). However, she nursed two of her 3 kids to 2 or longer (DH was the first child and was only nursed to 11 mos).

The bad: when DC1 was very little, I asked if she ever nursed in public. She made some negative comment about "those women" and said that she never even considered it! I cannot understand how a woman could nurse for 5 years and never NIP! Another one from her was "you have to drink milk to make milk" after finding out that I was lactose intolerant and thus avoiding milk. Sorry, that's about all I have except for the ridiculous things she has said (and we have probably all heard) about circumcision.

[SaoirseC]

Originally Posted by goinggreengirl

She actually called recently to tell me a story of a friend's cousin's husband's father who had to be circ'ed at 93. yeah, cuz a possible problem in 90 years makes it necessary to have it done now.

My MIL did this too. She's an RN, and has worked at many nursing homes. She told me about a really old resident who had "green discharge" due to his foreskin. I have no clue how a foreskin could cause green discharge, but someone else having an issue with their foreskin at the end of their life is no reason to cut off the perfectly healthy tissue of another person at the beginning of their life!

[4myfinn]

Originally Posted by brenna80

My mom has Alzheimer's... I have no doubt she would have been the best Grandma and supporter of my parenting. She's such a sweet, sweet gentle soul who loves children and taught elementary school for many years.

Hugs to you Brenna80. My mom passed last year from Alzheimer's. I'm so sorry.

My mom didn't live long enough to meet my DS, but if she did, I know what she would say because she said it to my older sisters when they had their children:
"You can't pick him up every time he cries. You're spoiling him."
"Put rice cereal in his bottle. It helps him sleep longer."
"Never let your baby sleep in your bed. It will ruin your marriage."

I'm also frequently chided by my older sisters to drink milk. (We are dairy-free). They're convinced that my breastmilk can't be rich enough without dairy.

My MIL is pretty supportive. My DH's older sister was very crunchy and kind of paved the way for us. The only thing MIL has done that has bothered me is given me grief over not letting her feed DS a grape. When DS was 6 months old. A whole grape. I just politely told her not to, but she couldn't fathom why I'd have an issue with it. Never mind that DS hadn't even started solids yet and I wasn't even eating grapes because they seemed to bother DS through my breast milk.

[1blueheron]

Originally Posted by Path2Felicity

"Babies cry.. it helps expand their lungs!"

Wow.

My MIL: "I'll hand her back to you when you start leaking through your blouse."

[waiting2bemommy]

My mother nursed me for a year so you'd think she'd be more pro-bfing. She just thinks I'm "radical" and a "rebel." A few gems from her:

I told her about how finding a ring sling at the thrift store and how great it is for nursing dd while I'm walking around cleaning house or grocery shopping. I even threw in there for her benefit, "yeah, someone asked if she could see the baby in the sling, and she didn't even realize she was nursing til I told her." I thought she'd be glad to know I'm not "exposing" myself. Her response: "You really don't need to tell people you're nursing, they might be offended by that."

Also when dd was born my mom & dad came to see her in the hospital and I was nursing her. She was about 18 hours old at this point and I had my cami pulled down on the side I was nursing her, so the top of my boob was kinda hanging out I guess. My mom goes, "could you please cover yourself?" I politely told her that I was fine this way and didn't really see the need to cover myself in a hospital room around family. My mother, "that's very inappropriate." She then rooted through my bag and fished out a pair of underpants and put them on my chest to cover me. uh.......yeah mom.

Oh and ds told her, "my sister came out of mommy's vagina." my mom, "why would you TELL him something like that?" well, what was I supposed to tell him? The baby flew in from Mars?

With both of my kids my mom has insisted on us having a bassinet. Neither of my children has ever spent more than an hour or two in the thing. I use it to hold the cloth diapers....very convenient spot, right next to the bed, for middle of the night diaper changes.

From dd's aunt (her dad's side): she has a rash (baby acne) because we kiss her too much. we should stop kissing her because she's not a cat. also, we should lather her in cornstarch every night because that is good for her skin.

[marinak1977]

my MIL formula fed DH and comments frequently how he was colicky and would cry lots. Then after watching DS get frustrated because the milkies were late (BF on demand) she remarked - "well, maybe he was just hungry"
poor baby DH - (he turned out pretty good though)

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy

Also when dd was born my mom & dad came to see her in the hospital and I was nursing her. She was about 18 hours old at this point and I had my cami pulled down on the side I was nursing her, so the top of my boob was kinda hanging out I guess. My mom goes, "could you please cover yourself?" I politely told her that I was fine this way and didn't really see the need to cover myself in a hospital room around family. My mother, "that's very inappropriate." She then rooted through my bag and fished out a pair of underpants and put them on my chest to cover me. uh.......yeah mom.

Oh and ds told her, "my sister came out of mommy's vagina." my mom, "why would you TELL him something like that?" well, what was I supposed to tell him? The baby flew in from Mars?

OOhhh. It would have been double points if it were a lacy red pair


Not my mom but amusing: A friend couple of ours has two DDs (3 and 6 I think) When I was changing DS you could see them hanging around kind of curious about his boy bits. The mom turns to the dad and says, "I think we need to start discussing parts with the girls..." turns to us and asks, "What are you going to call his... penis?" DH paused and then said, "His penis." She stuttered and then said, "Oh..." like it was weird to call it that. (They refer to the girls' bits as their "chinas")

[sew_crafty_girl]

My mom came shopping with me and we stopped at one store quick, loaded DD into the carseat and drove 1/2 a block to the next store. Mom says "I could've just held her." I corrected her and she sheepishly said "I know"

She kinda scoffed at my love for the Moby and insisted on carrying her in every store we visited and the baby fussed. I loved to show her just how content and sleepy baby got while being worn. To my mom's credit though, she lives out of town and it was her first time meeting her grandbaby and she wanted to hold her as much as possible.

She also suggested that one of my m/c could've been because I had a midwife.

[tzs]

my MIL this weekend suggested that my 8 mo was done eating and that i should clear her tray because her new dog was eating too many beans that had fallen on the floor and "he doesn't need to be eating all that" (referring to the dog.) it wasn't even her house! i told her that she could put the dog in another room rather than take the kid's food away, geez.

[MaryMarg]

So what a great thread!!! These are hysterical! My mom (and dad) think we are wacko and have completely lost our minds for giving our kids organic food! (Mom: "I tried that organic yobaby yogurt and it tastes awful! I can't believe they eat it!") And healthy food ("Quinoa? Can't she just have a hotdog?"). To spite our efforts, they give DD junk whenever possible. DH and I recently got pictures of DD enjoying her first Krispy Kreme doughnut! Parents thought this was so funny!

Mom asks "WHEN are you gonna stop BFing that boy?" (He's only 15 months for heaven's sake!) and cannot believe we decided not to circ. ("what about disease!"). Oh and don't even get me started about their opinions on homeopathy and not running to the doctor every week! ("WHAT! You're not giving him Tylenol!!!!")

Does anyone remember "Amy's Answering Machine" from NPR? An hilarious recording of a single woman's mother's messages on her answering machine. It'll make you roll! Thanks, mamas--this is great!

[GreenTeaGinger61]

This all sounds so familiar...mostly from my MIL.

My mom in generally supportive of our parenting choices but we have lots of issues surrounding food. She wants to give my babies crap food way too early. And this time around she has been insistent that I pump so that she and my other children can "feed the baby too" and acts like I'm being so selfish when I say I'm in no rush to pump. She also acted put out when I told her we don't do baby food but rather wait until baby can pick up and chew her own food. It was all about her again wanting to feed the baby.

My inlaws are just utterly horrified, and MIL really takes it personally that we don't parent like she did. She is constantly asserting how much better her children behaved than mine. I know this is utterly bogus as dh has told me the stories and they were horrors! And it hasn't ended with baby hood either. Right now it's all about the homeschooling.

[AndtheStars]

I love this thread! DS had his first ear infection over the weekend and I called my parents because they had this great book called the childrens health encyclopedia or something when I was growing up. I called to get info from the book on using garlic oil for the infection. My mom (who is usually very supportive of our parenting choices) freaked out that I wasn't taking him to a doctor. I told her that I wanted to try the garlic oil before we jumped to antibiotics. She started off on this whole tangent about ruptured eardrums and hearing loss and speech delays. It was classic. When she realized that I wasn't buying any of it, she started with the your grandmother and great-grandmother said to never put anything in a child's ear, like the word of my ancestors was going to convince me of anything. Needless to say, I didn't take him to a doctor, used garlic oil and he's much better today. I'm sure, knowing my mother, that if he's not talking in full sentences by 18 months or so, she'll reference this ear infection as the problem. Sigh.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by dicksonley

I love this thread! DS had his first ear infection over the weekend and I called my parents because they had this great book called the childrens health encyclopedia or something when I was growing up. I called to get info from the book on using garlic oil for the infection. My mom (who is usually very supportive of our parenting choices) freaked out that I wasn't taking him to a doctor. I told her that I wanted to try the garlic oil before we jumped to antibiotics. She started off on this whole tangent about ruptured eardrums and hearing loss and speech delays. It was classic. When she realized that I wasn't buying any of it, she started with the your grandmother and great-grandmother said to never put anything in a child's ear, like the word of my ancestors was going to convince me of anything. Needless to say, I didn't take him to a doctor, used garlic oil and he's much better today. I'm sure, knowing my mother, that if he's not talking in full sentences by 18 months or so, she'll reference this ear infection as the problem. Sigh.

I wonder if that would include numbing drops from a doctor...