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Things your mother says. - Page 2

post #21 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceinwen View Post
I my mom. She is my biggest supporter, was a super crunchy parent, and is an awesome rockin' AP grandparent.
I'm lucky like this, too. The only kind of negative comment was when I was pregnant and told her I was going to CD. She said "that won't last long."

Then she saw my stash with snappis, fitteds, and wrap covers, and say "OH, they didn't HAVE this stuff when ya'll were little!"
post #22 of 125
This is a great topic... both comical and sad!

Being a first time mom, I think so many people feel it is their duty to give us unsolicited advice. But my mother, who has been trying to be very supportive, just can't help herself sometimes! She constantly tried to get me to give DD a bottle as soon as DD was born and said I'd 'be sorry for waiting'! She thinks we are crazy (and dangerous) for co-sleeping and 'has never seen a baby held so much'! When I am over her house, she and the rest of my family are always trying to figure out ways to put DD down in some mechanical contraption. I'm always saying, 'if you don't want to hold her, you don't have to...just give her back to me'! My MIL hasn't been that bad, but that's probably b/c she lives 3+ hours away!

Nicole, loving DH DD (11/09) 1 2
post #23 of 125
My grandmother tried the "he needs to exercise his lungs" comment once. Just once. I don't think she liked my response.

ANd man, did she ever push the pacis. Repeatedly. Until I finally snapped and asked her WTH she was talking about - why was she so invested in his taking a paci. She hasn't mentioned it since.

But she's not all bad - she's been great about EBF and CDs and even BW.
post #24 of 125
Wow, it seems I'm pretty lucky.

My mum never argues or opposes my choices in parenting, no matter how radically different they might be from the choices she made for my sister and I. She always says with a genuine smile: "You're the mama, you make the choices that's best for Lyra and you. It's YOUR family"

M and FIL on the other hand....

are not my parents to complain about, so I'll leave it at that. Wonderful people, but definitely different in the parenting department
post #25 of 125
DS is 3 months and we have gotten the comments about starting solids/cereal. Fortunately DH is very on board with EBF and delaying solids. We just said, not yet.

DH's grandmother is probably the worst for some things, she asked, while I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant, when the induction was scheduled (aghast, I said, it's not! alas, I was induced at 41+6 and ended up with a c-section) both her and my grandmother wonder why he's not circ'd . . .she also called, in a panic, when I was about 9 months pregnant, wondering if or WHEN I'd get my flu vax. that was a curt, I am NOT getting one.

My mom didn't BW at all, but she thinks it is cool that I do. Since he is the first grandbaby on both sides, there is no question of him being held constantly. though my mom did by a jumperoo. I can't complain because DS loves it!

and I get asked about his "schedule" he doesn't have one! how does any EBF baby have a schedule?

and why do people think babies need water bottles?

Mostly the family is very supportive of my decisions, but I think they might think I'm a bit kooky. oh well.
post #26 of 125
With the exception of the CIO issue (upon which we agree to disagree), my mom is pretty cool. Some of her quotes:

"So she doesn't bite you anymore?! How did you teach her that?"
"We won't take her anywhere in the car. I didn't let my parents take you anywhere either."
"At least with her still breastfeeding you know she's getting enough calories."

I my mom. She tries!
post #27 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
DS is 3 months and we have gotten the comments about starting solids/cereal. Fortunately DH is very on board with EBF and delaying solids. We just said, not yet.
Whenever I got those, I'd just say "oh, now the doctors say that it's not good for their digestion to have solid food before 6 months." For some reason, if you preface it with "the doctor says" somehow people just accept it, although sometimes with a "that's not what they told me back when I had babies."

I am guilty of sometimes attributing to the mythical doctor things I don't feel like arguing about: "the doctor says that co-sleeping is good for the baby" "the doctor says that picking up babies when they cry improves their social development." Etc. Haha.

Quote:

and why do people think babies need water bottles?
It's because formula fed babies DO need water bottles. I've gotten that too from people who don't know about breastfed babies.
post #28 of 125
oh yeah i got the "exercising the lungs" for the crying thing too. i also forgot to mention my mom and our EBF baby, she thinks it's too much work to breastfeed and doesn't know how the baby is getting enough milk however then when she saw DS again at Christmas he had doubled his weight and was about 3 mos old (normal) she said he was too fat. ....which he isn't anyway.....
post #29 of 125
my mom asked if I was sure ds was getting enough to eat because he won't nurse when we're not at home unless he is starving. way to fuel the mommy worry. she switched to formula pretty early on so nursing a 6 month old is foreign territory to her.

otoh, she is supportive of cosleeping - however she did warn me that she thought she'd have to go on my honeymoon with me because I coslept for so long

It annoys the crap out of me when my mil calls ds "my (her) baby" uh no. your babies are grown. not sure why but it really gets on my nerves.

my smil kept bugging me to start cereal "so he'll sttn" I told her our ped said NO FOOD until after 6 months, which he did. I'm sure they think it's weird I'm listening to a dr because when I was pg I was pretty @ drs
post #30 of 125
When my 7.5 month old was on his second nursing strike because his top 2 teeth were starting to come in, and I was DEVASTATED, my mom said, "Yup, you girls all weaned at 6 months."

Me: babies don't wean themselves earlier than 12 months.

Mom: well, you and your sisters did. You didn't want anything to do with it and just ran around with bottles in your mouths.

Me: but he's not even eating solids yet. What would he wean TO?

Mom: does he take the bottle from DH during the day? [I work full time and give EBM while at work.]

Me: Well, yes, but I still don't think he's weaning. He NEEDS to nurse!

Mom: I'm just saying, don't take it personally.



My DS, who stayed home with DH until just a few weeks ago, is now in daycare and practically ATTACKS me to nurse when I drop him off, go at lunch, and pick him up in the afternoons. This from the boy who, at 6 months old, I had to drag into a dark quiet room in order for him not to be distracted. If he didn't have that comfort from me at daycare, he would be distraught! Imagine if I hadn't pushed through the strike and assumed he was weaning?!
post #31 of 125
My mom has Alzheimer's... I have no doubt she would have been the best Grandma and supporter of my parenting. She's such a sweet, sweet gentle soul who loves children and taught elementary school for many years.

My MIL on the other hand comes out with gems like,

When are you going to put her on a diet?
She's so fat!
Her legs are short.
You're feeding her AGAIN?! (I will no longer allow her in the room where I'm breastfeeding. She stares at my boob without talking like she's looking at an animal at the zoo.)
I think she's deaf (because she wouldn't look at my MIL).
How are her bowels? (It seems like she would get a thrill from there being something wrong with the baby... when she calls she says stuff like, "Is anyone sickly?" instead of "how is everyone?")
The exercising the lungs thing, yup.
Babies should chew on pretzels when they are a couple months old.
Hiccups are deadly and should be treated with sugar water.
Did the doctor say that's ok? (About all of the crazy, crazy things we do)
You're spoiling her. (If I had a nickel...)

She claims that my DH said, "I love you, Mommy. I really, really love you, Mommy" when he was 8 months old. I'm wondering why he has not yet discovered the secret to achieving world peace or built an atomic bomb in our basement.

She wanted to come visit (our week old baby) after spending the day with her other grandson who had H1N1 and she was sick herself with an unknown illness. She came over when our baby was a few days old, decided to sleep over, and made me cater to her. She's like that book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

My grandmother also busts out the unwanted advice... I can't even begin to list this stuff. rice cereal rice cereal. It doesn't bother me as much, because I can tune out my blood relatives much easier than in-laws. She does think that I'm killing her by not giving her water.

Both of these ladies have admitted to nearly killing their babies. My dad almost drowned because my grandmother ignored his cries. She wanted to finish her ironing. My husband fell down the stairs in one of those walking contraptions. So, I don't feel too bad ignoring their advice Guess who's never babysitting?

texaspeach, I'm with you on the "my baby" thing. I'm sorry, if you didn't spend 19 hours trying to get her large head through your vagina, she is not your baby!
post #32 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post
That DS will be stunted in growth if I extended breastfeed him (and she's a dietitian).
She does know that you can give other foods and still breastfeed, right? Or does she think the people who breastfeed to age 3,4, 7 are all giving their kiddos nothing but breastmilk?
post #33 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1101 View Post
I am guilty of sometimes attributing to the mythical doctor things I don't feel like arguing about: "the doctor says that co-sleeping is good for the baby" "the doctor says that picking up babies when they cry improves their social development." Etc. Haha.
Dr. Sears has specifically given the women of the world permission to use him as "the baby's pediatrician says" when it comes to convincing annoying relatives of anything addressed in his books. Since co-sleeping and responding to crying are covered, you're good.
post #34 of 125
Mmm just today I mentioned I tried giving ds a little babyfood since he's in constant want of our food. However he has other ideas & hated it, did the whole gagging thing.

I got this reply "Just keep shoving it in there."

*sigh*

Along with the standard "It's good for them to cry." and "Don't let him sleep in your bed you'll NEVER get him out!!"
.....
post #35 of 125
"you're never going to get her out of your bed!"
me: well, at this point, since i have to work all day, sleeping cuddled up with my dumpling every night suits me just fine. i don't WANT her out of our bed!
post #36 of 125
Thread Starter 
Texaspeach...my MIL has never called DD anything other than "her" baby, as if I'm just babysitting for her. Ugh.

Last night my mom gave me more grief about DD's sleep, that I can't simply "lay her down", and that I wear her down in the Ergo and then nurse to sleep. I reminded her that she pushed my brother in a stroller to get him to sleep. She said "that was a BUGGY. It was FLAT."

I guess she has a problem with DD being upright in the Ergo...?

She also added "your brother was always completely separate. YOU'RE the pacifier for her. You've created this regimented thing where she needs you for everything."

post #37 of 125
Thread Starter 
I forgot to add the constant sales pitches for babyfood...

Mom: because some food will help her digestion.

Me: but there is nothing wrong with her digestion.

Mom: but it will really help her digestion.

What?!?
post #38 of 125
my current mom favorite - and i swear she said it constantly, like every time we spoke until i finally yelled at her that if she said it one more time i wasn't going to speak to her again until LO was in college.

"i can't believe you are having breastfeeding problems, you have the right size. i never had problems."

as if, the fact that i have big boobs somehow makes it impossible to have supply issues.

and, the other fun one "are you drinking enough milk?" yeah, because cowmilk magically transforms into breastmilk ...
post #39 of 125
My mother is usually pretty good. She BF her children and claims she did not give other foods until we were 6 months old (which I think she's misremembering, because that seems to go against the advice of the time, but it suits me anyway). However, she has implied on more than one occasion that I need to teach DS to go longer time periods between feedings. This is after complaining that her own mother followed the clock and wouldn't feed her kids when they were hungry until someone (I'm not sure who) pointed out that was the reason they were always crying every 3.5 hours (in a 4 hour feeding schedule).

I also said recently that I can't leave DS for longer than an hour because I need to be around to feed him when he gets hungry, and she said that he could be given a bottle of water to fill him up until I got back. I guess that would help train him to go longer between feedings, anyway.

My MIL is constantly amazed at my ability to breastfeed because she was never able to do it, and even my SIL struggled with it--she is still successfully BF her daughter at 15 months though. I was fortunate enough not to have problems and my MIL comments in amazement every time she sees me about how pleased she is that I am doing so well. That's not a bad thing, but I never know how to respond.
post #40 of 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by NSmomtobe View Post
I also said recently that I can't leave DS for longer than an hour because I need to be around to feed him when he gets hungry, and she said that he could be given a bottle of water to fill him up until I got back. I guess that would help train him to go longer between feedings, anyway.
I wouldn't do water at his age, I'd just do a bottle of your expressed milk.

Quote:
My MIL is constantly amazed at my ability to breastfeed because she was never able to do it, and even my SIL struggled with it--she is still successfully BF her daughter at 15 months though. I was fortunate enough not to have problems and my MIL comments in amazement every time she sees me about how pleased she is that I am doing so well. That's not a bad thing, but I never know how to respond.
"Thank you. I'm glad we're doing well, too." *shrug* That's what I say when I get that comment from my grandmother. She didn't breastfeed (in the late 50's-- not a good time for breastfeeding) because she said the nurses told her she didn't make enough milk (*sigh*). But is so happy that we are because she knows that it is healthier.
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