I need sleep - PLEASE weigh in on this

[BabyMae09]

I LOVE co-sleeping, but I am so exhausted. I literally am becoming confused and disoriented during the day because of poor sleep and lack of sleep. I'm not even sure if I could get DD, who is almost 9 months, to sleep in her bassinet. But I NEED her to. At least sometimes. She is teething and has been for six months now. She wakes up 4-7 times a night to nurse for 3 seconds to a couple minutes, which of course wakes me up. DP doesn't even sleep with me anymore because he can't get and sleep if he does.

We just found a raw goat milk supplier, so I have several gallons of it in my fridge and freezer. We were going to try to have DP do her night-time feedings for a while. We tried last night and she would not let him feed her! We tried it in my bed, with me there, to ease the transition. Our plan was to have all three of us sleep in my bed for the first couple nights, with DP offering the goat milk at bed-time and upon DD waking in the night. We didn't even manage part of the feeding right before bed, let alone any during the night!

After she was comfortable with DP feeding her during the night we were going to have her transition into her bassinet, right next to our bed, with DP back in my bed, and giving her the night-time feedings.

Please help me figure out how to go about this. Thanks.

[Thalia the Muse]

Oh, sleep deprivation is just unbearable!

Have you experimented with having him feed her during the day, without you present, to see if she'll take it? Many babies do better taking a bottle if they can't see or smell their mothers.

Can you try having her nap in the bassinet to get used to it as a sleeping place?

Have you ever tried her in the bassinet? If you aren't right there, she might even stop waking up at night altogether -- she's obviously not very hungry, if she's only nursing a few seconds each time.

One thing -- if you're not going to pump for the supplemental feedings, it's better for babies under one year old to get formula than any kind of animal milk. It's especially designed to replace human milk. Not as a good as human milk, but perfectly fine and better for human infants than any other animals' milk.

[BabyMae09]

Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse

One thing -- if you're not going to pump for the supplemental feedings, it's better for babies under one year old to get formula than any kind of animal milk. It's especially designed to replace human milk. Not as a good as human milk, but perfectly fine and better for human infants than any other animals' milk.

I have to respectfully disagree with you on that. Goat milk is the closest thing to human milk. Formula is made with low-quality cow's milk, which is not similar at all to human milk, and to boot, most of it has HFCS in it. The formula that doesn't is much too spendy for me. We're trading for our goat milk, and even if I had to pay for it, I'd still never use formula, in part because they market it to poor women in 3rd world countries as being better for their babies.

But thanks for the other advice, and the hug! I needed it

[EzzysMom]

this may be advice already given and tried, but I used some of the techniques in the no cry sleep solution around that age to improve things at least a little. Are you napping during the day? going to bed early? it's so about survival that first year and it's so hard to get the little ones to change sometimes its easier to change other things. I was with you though, that age was exhausting, I wouldn't let myself drive sometimes because I really felt I was a danger on the road. Hope she makes a turn for the better soon. Have you tried motrin for some serious teething relief?

[trustedinstincts]

Originally Posted by BabyMae09

I have to respectfully disagree with you on that. Goat milk is the closest thing to human milk. Formula is made with low-quality cow's milk, which is not similar at all to human milk, and to boot, most of it has HFCS in it. The formula that doesn't is much too spendy for me. We're trading for our goat milk, and even if I had to pay for it, I'd still never use formula, in part because they market it to poor women in 3rd world countries as being better for their babies.

But thanks for the other advice, and the hug! I needed it

Ahhh...thank goodness you know your stuff
I'm not sure what help I can give you other than moral support. I have had my little guy in bed with us for 6 months now and when he fusses at night I latch him on and then doze until he is done or fall back asleep altogether. He always lets go and goes back to sleep himself with no problems. The waking up at night is a normal thing though...especially if you say that she is teething. There are homeopathic therapies for teething babies as well if you don't want to go with the heavier drugs

[BabyMae09]

Originally Posted by trustedinstincts

There are homeopathic therapies for teething babies as well if you don't want to go with the heavier drugs

I tried one of them for a few nights and it didn't seem to work. What have you used that worked?

[Theloose]

Some parents who do ec notice that latching on just for a few seconds then falling back asleep can often be a baby needing to pee. Have you looked at the ec forum?

And dd woke up a TON all night long - every 45 minutes or so, and then I had insomnia on top of it. Do you have trouble falling back asleep at all?

[Pookietooth]

I think she's too old for a bassinet -- don't they outgrow it at 10 pounds or something? Or else when they can sit up?

[Pookietooth]

Goat milk is deficient in B12, Folate, and iron so you will need to give some kind of supplement for that.

[AlicesMama]

Dr Sears has something to say about Goats Milk. Perhaps you have already read it, but just in case: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/t032400.asp

I do think he's pretty wise and I have never had to question if I think he's got another agenda, he just seems educated and has the best interests of the baby at heart.

My DD is now 22 months and still wakes up once a night. We night-weaned at 12 months as DD had a bad silent reflux and the endless digestion of feeding back to sleep caused her to wake up (always screaming) far more than if she had an empty tummy.

She was absolutely fine after 5 nights and slept through once DH took her. She now starts in her own room and when she wakes comes in with me.

If you're desperate to break the habit of feeding back to sleep, why not ask DH to settle DC back down for a few nights alone (with you not in the room). You can still feed pop in for feeds if you think DC is hungry. When we started night-weaning, I would pop in for feeds at the start, not at every wake-up but to make sure she wasn't getting too hungry while we worked towards no feeding between 7pm and 6am.

This isn't night-weaning I'm suggesting for you, just gently helping DD to understand how to fall asleep without feeding and being comforted by DH instead. Then you can all sleep together again once DD knows how to fall asleep without feeding and being comforted by DH instead but still feed her when she really does want to be fed (she'll let you know, ie, it won't work with DH soothing her anymore!)

The chances are DD isn't hungry every time she wakes but has gotten into the cycle of feeding back to sleep, which is entirely normal. So you could skip the goats milk completely if you did this and avoid all those questions over nutrition etc. You would get more sleep, all sleep together again and continue breast-feeding

[BabyMae09]

So, what do all you mama's who are afraid of raw goat milk (one of the most natural substances on Earth!) feed your babies when weaning them?

This thread isn't about goat milk, it's about sleep!

[BabyMae09]

Originally Posted by Pookietooth

Goat milk is deficient in B12, Folate, and iron so you will need to give some kind of supplement for that.

Since I take those vitamins, she gets them though my breast milk.

[ihugtrees]

Originally Posted by AlicesMama

Dr Sears has something to say about Goats Milk. Perhaps you have already read it, but just in case: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/t032400.asp

I do think he's pretty wise and I have never had to question if I think he's got another agenda, he just seems educated and has the best interests of the baby at heart.

My DD is now 22 months and still wakes up once a night. We night-weaned at 12 months as DD had a bad silent reflux and the endless digestion of feeding back to sleep caused her to wake up (always screaming) far more than if she had an empty tummy.

She was absolutely fine after 5 nights and slept through once DH took her. She now starts in her own room and when she wakes comes in with me.

If you're desperate to break the habit of feeding back to sleep, why not ask DH to settle DC back down for a few nights alone (with you not in the room). You can still feed pop in for feeds if you think DC is hungry. When we started night-weaning, I would pop in for feeds at the start, not at every wake-up but to make sure she wasn't getting too hungry while we worked towards no feeding between 7pm and 6am.

This isn't night-weaning I'm suggesting for you, just gently helping DD to understand how to fall asleep without feeding and being comforted by DH instead. Then you can all sleep together again once DD knows how to fall asleep without feeding and being comforted by DH instead but still feed her when she really does want to be fed (she'll let you know, ie, it won't work with DH soothing her anymore!)

The chances are DD isn't hungry every time she wakes but has gotten into the cycle of feeding back to sleep, which is entirely normal. So you could skip the goats milk completely if you did this and avoid all those questions over nutrition etc. You would get more sleep, all sleep together again and continue breast-feeding

I am not the OP, but I am dealing with the exact same situation with my 8.5 month old!

I've tried to have my DH comfort her before, and she just cries louder and louder with him. Even if she doesn't nurse, the minute I am there, she stops fussing. She does the latch on, go back to sleep thing ALL NIGHT, and I can't sleep with her latched on. Half the time, the breast falls out of her mouth after a little while, and she wakes right back up, looking for it again...but only nurses for a few seconds.

I am wondering about the needing to pee thing...we just started doing EC when we are at home, & she pees in the potty EVERY TIME, so I'm wondering if she is wanting to go potty? But I also worry that getting up, going into the cold bathroom, with even a dim light, might wake her up too much to get back to sleep...not to mention that that, along with diaper off...geez, I probably won't get back to sleep either. Maybe I will check out the EC forum to see what they say.

I also need to re-read the older baby section of The No Cry Sleep Solution. Starting in April, my DH is going to be gone 2 out of 4 weeks until September, when he will be deployed for 6 months straight, so we NEED a solution for the sleep thing SOON. Without his respite to rest/recharge in the afternoon + lack of sleep, I'm worried I will go crazy

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by BabyMae09

So, what do all you mama's who are afraid of raw goat milk (one of the most natural substances on Earth!) feed your babies when weaning them?

This thread isn't about goat milk, it's about sleep!

one a child weans there is no *need* for any kind of milk...so with all due respect...you don't need to give your child goat's milk when she really needs mama milk...why not pump??

[hakeber]

Did I miss where you explained why you don't pump? I don't mean to question your research, but surely YOUR milk would sustain her longr than a goat's milk...no?

Is it possible for you to sidecar a bed, crib or co-sleeper for her so you have space when you need it? FWIW, at 9 months we still used a very loud white noise machine w/ ds...he needed it until he was almost one. I really helped through the lighter phases of the sleep cycle to dip back into deep sleep again...me too!

[confustication]

Personally, I wouldn't nightwean this early. I'd give it a few more months. If you feel the need to do so to survive though, and don't want to pump, goat's milk for the one or two night feedings shouldn't be a major issue if it is tolerated well. If it were the sole nutrition- sure, you might worry more about what it is deficient in, but this is a baby who is nursing the rest of the time, right?

[pinky]

I think that 9 months is a particularly hard window for sleep. It seems like nightwaking has gone on for so long that you'll just die if you don't get some sleep. I remember thinking at that point that I couldn't possibly hold out until 1 year to nightwean. But I did. And by that point I was sort of over a hump; she wasn't sleeping better, but I was managing better. And we ended up waiting until she was two to nightwean.

If continuing to breastfeed is important to you, I'd proceed very carefully. Replacing night nursing with supplemental feedings could really tank your milk supply--especially at 9 months, when babies tend to be so distractable, and often get the bulk of their calories at night. Similarly, frequent use of bottles may throw a wrench in your breastfeeding relationship--it's not unusual for bottle-feeding babies to reject the breast at this age, since the bottle can be easier and more portable.

I know you're exhausted. Believe me, I've been there. But I wish I could take back all the energy I spent on trying to *fix* my daughter's totally normal needy nightwaking--it didn't help, and just made us all frustrated. I do think if you can hang in there for even a few more months, it's likely to be much more easier to ease her into new routines without risking premature weaning. In the meantime, try to focus on ways that you and your partner can take care of you so that you're able to take care of your baby.

hang in there! it does get better, really!

[cyclamen]

I'm in a similar place with DD 8mo. About a week ago I decided that was it, I was definitely nightweaning or I was going to go insane with waking 6-12 times a night and not being able to fall back asleep afterwards.

That night, after the seventh or eighth waking, I hid under the blanket while she fussed and cried a bit and (!) fell back asleep!

But then when I woke up in the morning my right breast was uncomfortably full. Even though I nursed her as I normally do (which often involves me detatching her after she stops her active nursing and gulping), a few days later, my boob was SO SO SO sore and I was starting to get chills, I was worried I would get mastitis. So we crawled in bed together and she nursed, and when she stopped, I'd do breast compressions even though they hurt, and she nursed more. She nursed for at least an hour.

That night, I got the first uninterrupted three hours of sleep in a long time. When I woke in the middle of the night the chills were gone, baby sleeping peacefuly. I rolled her over and latched her on for a dream feed, and she woke a few times after that.

Over the last few days, we've started to transition from nursing all night long and almost never in the day, to nursing more in the day. I take her and lay her down in the bed to get her to nurse. If she tries to crawl away (which she was also doing at bed time), I catch her and bring her back.

Sore spot in my boob is gone, and she is waking far less at night, so far. I hope we can keep this up! I thought she was nursing enough in the day because she wasn't upset and didn't seem to "want" to, like she'd seem to "fight" against it at first. Out of desperation to not get mastitis, I found I could persuade her to nurse more in the day, and she seems contented now. I wonder if this is possible for you?

I also have to second the EC thing. Occassionally it seems she has to pee, not nurse.

Also, I have been practicing with her cuddling to sleep. She fusses and cries a bit, but I think it helps her fall back asleep without needing to suck something.

[cyclamen]

Originally Posted by ihugtrees

I am wondering about the needing to pee thing...we just started doing EC when we are at home, & she pees in the potty EVERY TIME, so I'm wondering if she is wanting to go potty? But I also worry that getting up, going into the cold bathroom, with even a dim light, might wake her up too much to get back to sleep...not to mention that that, along with diaper off...geez, I probably won't get back to sleep either. Maybe I will check out the EC forum to see what they say.

I had a little bucket (empty trash can) by the bed for nightime pees.

We tried having her sleep without the diaper and unfortunately she flooded the bed during one miss. But I think I am going to do it again and just lay a huuuuge towel down, and the lanolized bed pad I made out of a thrift store sweater underneath (if I can find it... might have to make another one).

EDIT

Also, have you tried the pantley pull off thing? It doesnt work 100% of the time, but many times, if she's sleeping, I can unlatch, press my thumb on her chin for a moment while she goes "nom nom nom" trying to find my nipple, and then she settles. I haven't tried it when she's roused though.

I was also giving her a bink in the middle of the night, but a few months ago she started to become absolutely enraged if I tried, so I gave up on that.

[milkybean]

Originally Posted by ihugtrees

I am wondering about the needing to pee thing...we just started doing EC when we are at home, & she pees in the potty EVERY TIME, so I'm wondering if she is wanting to go potty? But I also worry that getting up, going into the cold bathroom, with even a dim light, might wake her up too much to get back to sleep...not to mention that that, along with diaper off...geez, I probably won't get back to sleep either. Maybe I will check out the EC forum to see what they say.

We didn't really start with the potty until much later in DS's life, but I finally realized that when he started squirming in his sleep, he needed to pee!

I had been nursing him back to sleep. That would be fine, we'd get 30 more minutes of sleep. Then he would absolutely flood his diaper and would be awake for one or two hours. Ouch.

I finally put two and two together. We already had a baby bjorn little potty for some reason (I think I bought it during his second round of rota, when I thought that cleaning the potty would be easier than cleaning the CDs...yeah, I was wrong about that!), and I just put it right next to the bed. He'd squirm, I would swing him off the side of the bed, pull down his Kushie, hold his penis down for the carpet's sake, he'd finish, I'd swing him back up, pull on his dipe, and sometimes he would be asleep before he was on the bed. I was so happy when I figured it out!

Originally Posted by BabyMae09

I tried one of them for a few nights and it didn't seem to work. What have you used that worked?

Homeopathy is a funny, strange, amazing, mysterious, and, if you choose the right remedy, miraculous thing. But you have to choose the right one. If it didn't work, it wasn't the right remedy.

I found that the "shotgun approach" of Hylands (multiple remedies) worked sometimes. But other times, it just wasn't right. Sometimes, Hylands wouldn't work, but giving him just ONE of the remedies found in Hylands did. You'd think it would have been covered by the Hylands, but it wasn't.

So I would recommend finding some really good homeopathy books, or consulting with a homeopath, or perhaps someone else who is comfy giving specific remedy advice will chime in. But basically, with homeopathy for teething, you want to match the symptoms happening right then, with the remedy. Teething tomorrow might look different, and a different remedy would be better. Don't think about tomorrow or the day before, just what's happening right then.