nothing I do is good enough for him

[omelette]

I am feeling so frustrated lately!
I have a very sweet little boy who will be 4 in April. He is great in all ways although lately he is so demanding and everything I do is not fast enough, not done correctly, etc.
He loves to play characters with me (firefighters, re-enact stories) and after a certain amount of time I tell him I want to be mommy again and he has a fit, tears, throwing stuff. I give him a heads up that the play will be coming to an end - ok we'll go on one more 'emergency' or 5 more minutes and it doesn't help.
He'll ask me to choose the story for bedtime and then gets upset b/c he doesn't want the one I chose. He'll ask me which car I want to drive so I choose and then he doesn't want me to have that one. I try to let him know that he can choose the story or he can choose which car I use when we play.
It goes on into all areas lately - lunch, crafts ,etc. I try to give him options so he is making the choices about a lot of stuff but even that seems to backfire.

I'm hoping for suggestions on how we can make life easier for both of us and I'm wondering if this is an age thing or more of a personality thing.
I hate seeing him get so upset and he seems to act as though he is so hard done by all the time. This is new in the last few months but seems to be getting worse. What can I do differently?

[jnet24]

I think it is really important not to give our children too many choices. Of course giving choices is important, but kids are not emotionally equipped to be able to handle complete control of everything and everyone in their lives. I think it is important to pick the car you want and stick with that, not bc you really want that car, but he needs to learn you get decide which car you play with and he chooses which one he plays with. He needs to learn everyone get choices, and he can't dictate what everyone around him does. It is just not how life works. He expects his way, bc you always allow him to. There has been many posts in GD forum about Attachment parenting and how it doesn't mean our children are never upset or cry it just means we parent out of love and mutual respect. I would say I am sorry you are sad that it is time to stop playing, but I have to do x. When I am done we can do y. And do it. Sometimes I give DS the option of joining me in another "game" or chore or whatever it is. I always remind him of the fun we had and what we can do when I am done doing whatever. And then I move onto whatever it was I wanted \ needed to do. He is going to cry and when he does comfort him and be sympathetic. It is hard, but I think it is important to teach our children that we do not control them and they do not control us, it is more about working together and respecting each other.

[omelette]

Thanks for your input.
I agree about not giving too many choices in that regard. I guess we started doing it and it slowly got a bit out of control with him wanting to be in charge of everything. I know it will cause more tears for us to go back on this but I hope with both dh and I being consistent it won't take long for him to understand that we all get to make choices in our play.

[jnet24]

I fell into the same trap for so long.. and find myself slipping down it quite often. Expecially when he was an only child. I didn't mean to be harsh, I just have been there so many times and have seen the difference being firm and consistant, but still loving and understanding can make in their behavior. Finding the balance is hard.