Please tell me it gets better - even if that's a lie! UPDATE POST 5

[ariatrance]

Okay, I know the potty thing eventually happens but today is just a struggle, you know?

I did not EC with my 2.5 yr. old son and started with my 1 yr. old daughter at 6 mos. For some insane reason, I decided on Sunday to put both of them in trainers/underwear except for nighttime. It is easier to pull up/down, even with poop. I had thought it might help them to accept pottying more readily as both fight laying down and changing diapers.

E will at least poop in the potty but absolutely refuses to pee. She pees on the floor and moves on. She doesn't even seem to care that she has peed. G will pee occasionally on the potty, no poop but he's too busy playing to go most of the time. I can't even force him if I wanted to because he is too big/heavy when he becomes dead weight during tantrums.

I'm just frustrated and trying not to be. I want to be relaxed and balanced as I was yesterday. I can't seem to hit my attitude reset button - must be broken!

It gets better right? G can tell me immediately when he pees/poops and will willingly go change his underwear and clothes. I don't understand why he doesn't find it easier to stop playing for ten seconds to go pee than to spend ten minutes changing clothes.

E is Ms. Independent. Maybe I should try to let her seat herself on the BBLP when she tries to go? She is so little; I'm not sure she can! I can let them go naked but I don't like to as it's pretty cold in our house (crap insulation) plus cat hair in unusual places....

Just lie to me and tell me it will all be better soon, that you went through exactly this and it's not that hard, it just seems like it. If that's not a lie, even better!

[hrsmom]

It DEFINITELY gets better! No lie! I only have one child, but she was just as you describe your dd! Now she stays mostly dry, a couple of misses per week is all! Big to you!!!

[lisavark]

I also only have one, but my DD was exactly like you describe your DD at a year old. And she was EC'd since two weeks. What worked for us was peeing outside. Even now--and she'll be two next week--she insists on peeing outside 95% of the time. I ask if she wants to "pee in her special potty", "pee in the grown-up potty," or "pee outside and freeze her bum off." She says, "Feez bum off." Every time. But she is just now starting to notice--and tell me--that she needs to pee ahead of time.

Really, the fact that YOU are paying attention to their elimination is huge. EC is about communication, and I think if we all thought of potty learning as being about communication and not just "success," it would be a lot less frustrating. I mean, the fact that your son is telling you immediately afterwards is AWESOME, IMO. As I'm sure you know from EC'ing your daughter, that in itself is an accomplishment, because babies can give you stealth poos and you never know till you stick your finger in there!

It WILL get better. They will not keep peeing on the floor forever. Personally, I think it's awesome that you're just going for it with trainers. If you have the money for it--or if you have cloth diapers you can sell to get the money for it--I suggest you invest in some nice trainers. Then you won't mind as much if you need to use them for a while. My favorites are the waterproof EC store trainers with snap sides...bright bots are really cute too...and poquito pants are awesome. Check out diaperswappers.com and see if you can get some nice used fluff.

Also, get a watch if you don't have one--or even a couple of timers. If I were you, I would get two timers, one for each kid, and reset them every time there's a pee. Maybe write it down too. That way you can get a definite idea of whether they have predictable timing, and what it is. For my daughter at that age, timing was everything--she'd tell me when she needed to poop, but she had no interest in peeing and could care less if she peed on the floor. But once I figured out she was peeing once an hour, it was easy to keep her dry all day: I just had to bribe her to pee every hour. That was a huge breakthrough for us--went from maybe 50% catches to more like one miss a day, or none, pretty much overnight.

Also, do you have multiple potties/locations? Maybe a couple of bblp potties spread throughout the play area would help? When DD doesn't want to go potty because she's immersed in an interesting activity, I frequently bring the potty to her. Usually she's so focused on the puzzle or whatever that she's working on that she hardly cares that I take her pants down and sit her on the potty, and then she pees automatically.

[ariatrance]

I wonder if my neighbors would think I'm crazy for peeing my kid in the front yard in winter..... Worth a shot though if it's not on the floor! She pooped on the floor today - it was so unexpected! She's never been an every day pooper and she went yesterday, so......Mommy wasn't really paying attention.

It is a good thing that G is noticing - that's one of the hardest parts I imagine, after teaching him to ignore those signals for 2+ years! He has been naked a lot this morning (not my choice ) BUT he actually stopped playing to go pee in his potty ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!! Then he peed in his underwear at lunch...but told me immediately. Next step is figuring out how to control his muscles - something I really can't help him with.

I may go ahead and get a lot more trainers. I've just started off with 9 for E, 10 for G and lots of underwear for G from when we tried this past summer. They are still so much easier than diapers!

Oh, and last night was a big oops on my part. I have never ECd E at night, so she always had this big butt from the heavy-duty cloth overnight diapers. I decided to give it a whirl two nights ago because she still nurses every 2 hours during the night. Well. Both nights I have put her in a single prefold on top of a waterproof pad and just changed when she woke to nurse. That was the plan anyway.....she has slept in 4 hour chunks the last two nights!!!!! Point is I get to sleeping a little too deeply. I forgot to put a diaper BACK ON last night. E woke up when she peed all over herself, not on the pad either. Must pay more attention!!

[ariatrance]

Update!

After the wonderful encouragement here, I got my head back on straight and we've had progress!!

G has even pooped in the potty once - he took himself to boot! He was so proud.

E has started noticing that she's peeing! Yeah, we don't make it into the potty all the often but she's actually looking down now when she goes. Step ahead!!

Okay, back to the grindstone. Next step is for me to chill out and stop asking every other minute if either of them need to potty.

[sapphire_chan]

There's something about this forum. Post about how frustrated you are and next thing you know it's all better, but if you dare to post that you haven't had a miss in X time?? Huge puddles.

Glad that things are going better for you!

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

There's something about this forum. Post about how frustrated you are and next thing you know it's all better, but if you dare to post that you haven't had a miss in X time?? Huge puddles.

Remember my post of frustration a couple weeks ago? About how we were STILL showing ZERO progress?

Then literally the next day (and several days later), this.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...3&postcount=12



Complain more. It works!

[hrsmom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

There's something about this forum. Post about how frustrated you are and next thing you know it's all better, but if you dare to post that you haven't had a miss in X time?? Huge puddles.

Glad that things are going better for you!

Totally true!!!!

I hear you about asking every other minute if they need to go potty! And I just realized (the other day) that I don't do that anymore!

[ariatrance]

Oh totally wonderful! She used the potty sign today!!! And peed on the potty! I've only been teaching/using that for the last week. Whoa - smartest girl ever!!

And now, I'll get my rags out for all those huge puddles headed my way.....