Having a really hard time coming to terms with a hospital birth after a homebirth

[youngnhappymamma]

.....so hard that, since I had a falling out with my CNM and dropped her a few weeks ago, I haven't called and set up an appointment with a new care-provider yet. It's been about 6 weeks since my last prenatal...I am almost 33 weeks. I just am having a very hard time picturing myself giving birth in the hospital...not being in 100% control over my labor and my baby after he's born....and I'm still considering putting a homebirth on a credit card or something....but I feel like the longer I wait, the less likely a new CNM or Dr will be to see me since it's been so long since my last appointment...

[philomom]

I gave birth to both my babies in a hospital. I was in complete control and my babies were not separated from me at all. Is your hospital that bad? Have you talked to the folks up there and taken a tour?

[*EarthMama*]

Originally Posted by philomom

I gave birth to both my babies in a hospital. I was in complete control and my babies were not separated from me at all. Is your hospital that bad? Have you talked to the folks up there and taken a tour?

I have also heard of women who have had amazing hospital births. It seems rare but perfectly doable if you KNOW what you want and are willing to fight for it (or have people there with you to do that for you ). If you do feel that home birth is right for you and can't have a midwife then you could always consider an unassisted birth. Check out Laura Shanley's site

[bandgeek]

Is it an option to wait as long as possible before heading to the hospital and having a birth kit ready in case you don't make it? They can't do a whole lot to you if you show up 10 cm and ready to push ya know? Well, unless they try to take the baby away to the nursery for any number of reasons...

Even when you know exactly what you want, it doesn't mean they won't violate you. I know many people that verbally expressed that they would not give consent for something only for the doctor to say "too bad" and do it anyway.

[StrongBeliever]

I can imagine how hard that must be for you. Have you considered unassisted birth? If this is your seventh baby(and possibly your last), IMO it seems like a pretty viable option. I mean, you've got plenty of experience, right? Are there any serious complications with your pregnancy that seem to call for the need of "professionals". Please don't read any of that as being snarky, all said with love... I am just a big believer in a woman's power to birth safely and naturally. And if you feel like something is going wrong or like you can't handle it, you can always move to the hospital. But planning on birthing unassisted gives you a few weeks to do your research and get comfortable, as well as peace of mind. Now isn't the time to be stressed out, ya know?

[SeattleRain]

Originally Posted by youngnhappymamma

.....so hard that, since I had a falling out with my CNM and dropped her a few weeks ago, I haven't called and set up an appointment with a new care-provider yet. It's been about 6 weeks since my last prenatal...I am almost 33 weeks. I just am having a very hard time picturing myself giving birth in the hospital...not being in 100% control over my labor and my baby after he's born....and I'm still considering putting a homebirth on a credit card or something....but I feel like the longer I wait, the less likely a new CNM or Dr will be to see me since it's been so long since my last appointment...

Is there any reason why you can't find another CNM to help you? You could have your records transferred from the old CNM's office to the new one, if that would help you find someone to take you on. Often, care providers just dont want someone who has had NO prenatal care, not someone who is just switching care. Don't worry, there's someone out there who will deliver your baby the way you want it.

If it looks like you're going to birth in a hospital, definitely go visit the hospital with a positive and open mind. Don't look at all the negatives, don't read other peoples bad birth stories. Their experiences don't have anything to do with your experience.

[AutumnW]

I'm having a very similar situation. I had my first ds at home with a cpm and have been planning to have my second at the hospital because we can't afford to pay a cpm. I've decided to do as a previous poster said and have birth supplies ready and just go unassisted. If I end up needing to go to the hospital I still can but doubt I'll need to.