of course you know how i voted
my first inclination is to come up there and smack h for acting that way, but i'll hold on to my aggression and try to put a positive spin on this. i want to tell you about my reluctant lactivist dh!
bill is my biggest supporter and wasn't new to bf when we had natalie. i had had 3 failed attempts at bf and was bound and determined to make bf work for us. i was also determined to feed my baby how and when my baby wanted and not try to conform to others or a schedule. bill was very supportive and was over joyed when i voiced my opinions and wishes because he was barely making the utility payments and knew that bf was the cheaper option
so i have the baby and things are going great with bf. better than i'd ever dreamed! she was such and easy bf'er that i thought surely i'd just been stupid the 3 previous times! she was born in december, so we stayed in quite a bit her first few months.
i never covered her or took much notice in how we bf so the first time i bf in public, i was a little awkward but felt like i did an excellent job of just bf my baby without being offensive or flashy/showy. we were in a corner booth in a popular cafe at one of the malls. bill was with us and i noticed that when natalie started to fuss, he started to get antsy. even though we were only half finished with the food, he insisted on going to pay the bill and started getting things ready to go. i told him we could wait it out and i'd nurse her and then we'd go.
he started getting noticable aggitated and began looking around and insisting that i hurry. i was shocked and felt slighted but decided to just wrap up nursing and discuss things with him further when we got home. turns out that there were several patrons in the cafe that we looking at me and whispering and one even pointed. i was so involved in caring for my baby (and let's face it, after 4 kids you get numb to comments and staring!) that i didn't notice.
i asked him what was bothering him about that. was it the fact that people were staring or was he mad at me for nip? at first he said that he was just mad at the people, but after we talked, he admitted that nip DID bother him simply because he'd always been told that breasts were private parts. his ex had always used a bottle or nursed in the car (mostly the latter) when out in public, so he'd never really been exposed to nip.
at the heart of his discomfort was the instinctive need to protect his mate and child, but there were societally imposed overtones as well. we are told from a young age that breasts are sexual and a woman's breasts either add to or deflect from her overall sexual appeal. true, but we've forgotten that 'sex appeal' directly relates to our biological desires to further the species and not just our desires to have a perfect body made for sexual pleasures.
so we sat and talked and came to the conclusion that nursing is normal and that viewing breasts as sexual is not. without millions of years worth of bf, we'd none be here today! dh is usually the first to defend a woman's right to bf how and where she'd like. he openly broaches the subject with his co-workers, friends, strangers at wal-mart, his family, the lady at the public works, etc. however, he still goes into 'protect and deflect' mode when i'm nip. sometimes when we're out in public, he literally pulls his jacket out and around us to 'hide' us and while i used to get incredibly peeved about his wanting to cover us, i know now that it's his way of protecting what's his.
maybe you could talk to h and try to get a feel for what's bothering him about nip. if he TRULY felt like bf was sexual in nature, wouldn't he take issue with bf as a whole? maybe he's parroting what other's have said and he's embarrassed by what they think and not necessarily having issues with it himself? this is tough...i'm sorry you are going through this! i wish we could all just get over the whole breast thing. i mean, cows have breasts that hang out in public AND we drink the milk from them and no one even bats an eye. but let a mama feed her baby and it's like the demise of our social system is at hand. ***ROLLING EYES***