S/O-Suprise homebirth advocates?

[Youngfrankenstein]

I had the traditional resistance from most of the people I knew about having a homebirth. After it was over, 99% of the people were "on my side" about the whole thing. Of course, I'm sure it's because things went very smoothly.

When some friends of my parents came over with them to meet the baby a few weeks later, my dad's friend, a 65 year old man, said that having a homebirth would be so much healthier because they didn't "do all that stuff to you" like in the hospital. He also commented on how much easier my recovery would be because there were no interventions.

It's fun to hear those things later from "strangers".

I don't know if it's the adult-male over 60 set who are the most removed from birth who don't think of it as emotionally as some of my female peers. In a way, it seemed to make sense to them. They have no ax to grind or side to take. Having said that, I've also met many older women who did have hospital births, but they had very open minds about me giving birth at home. They thought it was great.

Have you ended up having any suprise advocates in your corner before or after you homebirth?

[cathicog]

Yes, my mother-in-law! When I was first planning our hb, in 1980, she was the only real understanding supporter I had. My husband couldn't understand why I didn't want to birth in a hospital again, and my father freaked out.(my mother wasn't in the picture)... my inlaws and all thier siblings were all born healthy at home, so they were quite understanding. I had a fast posterior baby who rotated to OA 20 min before birth. My inlaws were in the living room, by invitation...
PS, eight years later, when I was expecting our third(we UC'd) I got a call from my MIL, wanting to know if they could come visit- what they didn't know(but I think she felt it somehow) is that I was in transition at the time, and was getting ready to birth the baby. (we had moved 3 hrs away 2 years before, so weren't nearby anymore). So the baby was 4 hrs old when they came and visited. I was glad to see them!

[bandgeek]

My dad is a big homebirth advocate. It's not surprising to me, because I'm used to it, but it's probably surprising to other people. His mom birthed like 10 babies at home, all healthy (I think she had 2 of her kids in the hospital). My mom had her 5th baby at home. And he was there for that one. He's *really* against all the interventions at the hospital. When he found out they still use stirrups for pushing in a lot of hospitals he about threw a fit. He's 62.

[Belle]

Yes, a few surprises.

First was my mother-in=law. She was absolutely supportive of homebirth. Her younger brother was born at home and she was present. The town doctor did a house call after the birth and mom and baby checked out fine so they never went to the hospital.

Also, my late grandmother. She had all her babies under twilight sleep in the 1940s and 1950s. I don't think she liked the experience much. She told me about her younger twin brother and sister's birth at home. She said if they'd been in the hospital they wouldn't have made it because they were too small. (Think hospitals in the 1920s) She was also eager to see the photos from the birth and bragged about me birthing at home to everybody.

My dad and step-mother weren't surprised at all at our decision to homebirth and treated it like it was no big deal. Just another birth.

[*MamaJen*]

My dad is a physician and my mom was a medical technician, and they both wound up being really wonderfully supportive of homebirth. My dad kind of grilled me to make sure I had done my research, but he was just asking all the same questions that I had asked when I was first looking into it. My mom watched the birth video and was really touched by how peaceful it was.

[fishmom]

My late grandmother - she gave birth to my dad at home on the kitchen table with a doctor present in 1943. She loved to tell that story. :-) Her DH was out of town and she didn't want to leave her 2 older girls anywhere.

And DH's late great-grandmother - she had her kids at home in the 30's and didn't see what the big deal was. :-)

My mom - she had a great experience when my bro was born in Germany w/a midwife and then she had a nightmare c-sec w/me here in the US. She worries a little, but she distrusts docs/hospitals more!

[Amynf1]

My in-laws are supportive. My husbands great-grandmother had 14 home births, many of which were unassisted, in the first half of the 1900's in rural Alabama. They are all still living today, but one who died later in life. The oldest is in his 70's and they all talk about how mawmaw would start her labor and clean house and send all the kids down the road to aunt so and so's until the baby came, then all the kids would go back home and meet the new baby. I guess the support isn't surprising, just neat.

[jdg]

I don't know that I've run into any expected supporters, per se. But the vast majority of people who know my plans to HB treat it as though it's no big deal. Those who know me know that I'm a little on the crunchy, natural side and seem to all think it's just something I would do, not to be made a big deal out of.

[sarahn4639]

My parents are great supporters, but the one "unusual" supporter is my 21 yo single younger brother. He's awesome, he even came to the Capitol and lobbied to license CPMs in IA. He's out there educating his college friends about homebirth, midwifery, and breastfeeding. I'm a proud sister!

[Sk8ermaiden]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

I don't know if it's the adult-male over 60 set who are the most removed from birth who don't think of it as emotionally as some of my female peers.
Have you ended up having any suprise advocates in your corner before or after you homebirth?

My husband has a coworker who is like 70 and grew up on a farm. Homebirths are "just what you did." So he's totally cool, and one of his other coworkers, married to an L&D nurse of all things, has a daughter who had all hers at home - with our same midwife no less. The mom (nurse) is totally awesome and supportive of homebirth too.

[Lineymom]

Yes! Everyone has been positive. The closest to negative has just been shock -"I can't believe you did that." kind of statements.

The most shocking positive came from the doc went I brought her in for the first time at 2 months. He said "thats great" and went on about the positives! He was the same doc that 5-6 years ago tried to make me wean ds at 20months because I had a terrible ear infection and needed abx.

[matthia]

I have been the most surprised by the people who have been uncertain about my choice to hb. My mom had 2 at home (#2(me) and #4(while travelling in Mexico, no less)) and 2 in hospital (#1 and #3). My dad is father to #2,3,4. So, I was absolutely expecting full support from them when I told them my plans. It actually didn't even enter my head that they would think that I wouldgive birth in a hospital.

BOTH of them re-acted with an "oh.....are you sure?"

[emnic77]

Originally Posted by matthia

I have been the most surprised by the people who have been uncertain about my choice to hb. My mom had 2 at home (#2(me) and #4(while travelling in Mexico, no less)) and 2 in hospital (#1 and #3). My dad is father to #2,3,4. So, I was absolutely expecting full support from them when I told them my plans. It actually didn't even enter my head that they would think that I wouldgive birth in a hospital.

BOTH of them re-acted with an "oh.....are you sure?"

Ditto this. My mother assisted midwives with homebirths in a nearby amish community for years and years (with no dramatic results) was a huge natural childbirth advocate for 20+ years, and was the last person on earth that I thought would raise eyebrow when I told her, and she did. She even asked me a couple months ago if I was getting an ultrasound before we went ahead with it (she herself refused all u/s with all three of us) to make sure that the baby wasn't "too big." My response was "too big for what?" She said the biggest baby she ever helped homebirth was 12 and a half pounds...I asked her if they had any problems, she said "well, no..." so I don't know what her problem is.
Doesn't matter anyway, she's 6 hours away and I had NO intention of having her here for the birth regardless.

[Gena 22]

Yes, there are some surprising HB supporters. I find mothers who birthed in the 1970s to be surprisingly supportive, especially when I tell them about current and local c/s and induction rates.

Moms that birthed in hospitals in the last 10 years or so seem the most resistant.

The biggest surprise was my grandmother. Of course I didn't talk to her until after a very successful HB, but by then she was all for it, and proud her little town had a new FBC where MWs ran the show.



Such a nice change from the office where I work. I think the ladies here have an 80-90% c/s rate. None of which sounded medically necessary to me. One lady told me I should really consider a c/s. I said I really wanted to avoid one since I would be caring for twin newborns in a house full of stairs. (Lame reason, I know, but I didn't want to get into everything.) She went on to describe how her house was full of stairs and she cared for a toddler and a newborn, when her husband threw his back out right after her second c and it was alright. What do you say to that? OK, you're hard core, but that sounds terrible! And totally avoidable!

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by Gena 22

She went on to describe how her house was full of stairs and she cared for a toddler and a newborn, when her husband threw his back out right after her second c and it was alright. What do you say to that? OK, you're hard core, but that sounds terrible! And totally avoidable!

[almadianna]

my father was surprisingly really supportive and was there for both of my marathon labors. my mother (who had one CS for FTP and one repeat because that is just what you did at the time) was scared and thought that she would have died (as would I) if she hadnt had the section. there was no distress she was just tired of laboring...

she saw my successful births as oddities and still does. my dad however who was born at home and whose mom gave birth to 13 kids at home didnt bat an eye and was great. he brought us all food, made me change positions, watch tv, and laugh.... believe it or not I am the most thankful for him being there making me laugh than I am for almost anyone else who was there.