What is a case conference?

[Labbemama]

I have one scheduled for my divorce on March 2.
I'm going by teleconference because I had to leave the state but was wondering if any of you know what I can expect?

I know stbx will be moving to reduce child support, get out of paying the guardian ad litem, etc.

I am going to ask that he pay the state for our medical benefits rather than keep us on his insurance as I have a RO and he got my new PO BOX from my dental ins. because nobody will protect our privacy except AETNA Thank GOD for that, but our RX and dental and vision will not because he's the insurance carrier.

I swear I'm going to compile a list of DV survivor friendly companies. A list of those who have good privacy policies and a list of companies whose customer service stinks in this aspect. LOL.

So I don't know if we'll have the conference or not because stbx says he can't make it to court. He's required to go in person. I think he's afraid he'll get picked up for contempt. And I hope to GOD he does actually he has skated by for so long with no consequences whatsoever.

He's been calling me inspite of the RO and my mother making trouble and since I'm in another state, the police won't do anything about it. The police back home wanted me to come in. So I just let the prosecutor's office know and the judge. Hopefully the judge will be peeved that stbx is not respecting his orders.

It does me no good for him to be in jail-but he doesn't pay his child support anyways and we can't use the ins. down here because we are out of network.

[Avani]

Well my case conference was a meeting with the judge and my lawyer and my ex was supposed to be present but didn't show. I did not have to be present since i have a lawyer. My lawyer said the case conference was to see if we needed to take the case to trial and how everything else was going. We could not discuss child support or the fact that ex still hasn't gone into the batterer's program ( three years later). Since my ex didn't show the judge is looking into sanctioning him for not appearing (not really sure what that means) and it was recontinued until March where I have a contempt hearing for ex being 7 months behind in child support. So my understanding it is just to see how things are going and what step needs to happen next. Hope that helps, i wasn't really clear on it either.

[Labbemama]

Avani, that sounds about what I think needs to happen in my case too.
I would think "sanction" would be like being held in contempt of a court order which is very likely with my ex too.
I am just glad I don't have to be there IN person.

[Labbemama]

I just wanted to update for those of you all following my story. I have a very messy divorce so if there are any of ya'll out there with teens and dv escaping a sociopath, without an attorney with any thoughts, LOL I would love to hear them.

So I had a teleconference with the judge and the kids guardian ad litem.

The GAL said that My ex refuses to contact him back and hasn't paid the court ordered retainer. He asked about the kids PTSD and if I could document that and I told him I'd signed releases for him already. I also told him the name of the children's division investigator who substantiated stbx's emotional abuse of the kids. I don't get why the physical wasn't substantiated but that's another issue.

So he'll dig into records to try to keep the kids out of this.

The judge says my stbx contacted him and said he wanted the divorce OVER with but he refused to come to any more court dates.

I think it's because after threatening me at the child support hearing and getting the restraining order finally for me and the kids (after 3 x) it's not fun to come to court and intimidate us.

So the judge has figured out my stbx is an impossible person to work with. You could tell the judge was angry about being defied and stbx's flip attitude about court orders.

I let them know the order has been broken 2 x but Texas would not register it because it's a foreign order. I have spoken with legal aid and let them know and they gave me the code to cite to let the police know they DO have to uphold my outta state order and legal aid is going to help me get it registered down here. I didn't want to at first because I didn't want the guy to know for sure I'm in this city if that makes sense.

I'm hoping legal aid will help with my finalization of the divorce. But for now I'm enjoying his insurance benefits and wish I could get a mom job and had more money to put into my dental work.

I'm comfortable being legally separated, not like I've got a new groom lined up and as long as I'm married he has to keep us on his ins and I've got that worked out to protect our privacy now so ...I figure I'll wait until I can afford or get legal aid's help and hopefully be divorced by year's end.

I know they are very seriously looking into if I can handle our 3 special needs kids and time is only a good thing for me. The longer they can stay outta trouble the better it looks for me.

My son got arrested for kicking me when the investigation of abuse was going on and they are prosecuting him for it, even though there were no major injuries to me. Kansas TOugh on kids, soft on domestic violence perpetrators. So anyhow we are having some growing pains related to kids respecting my authority because of stbx undercutting and abusing me so much and it's my job to prove to the court "I got this."

I have a family therapist that'll help.

But anyhow, The judge in my divorce took time from his civil docket to go over and hear my son's juvenile case because I told him ex was likely to show up there and he was so concerned about my kids. So even though they are investigating me as a parent, the judge took the time, he's an incredibly busy man, and he's looking out for my kids which I can totally respect.

Finally someone in the system looking out for my kids.

My worst fear is that I'll loose them and stbx has threatened that, but for now my goal is to try to keep them all together until my oldest turns 18.

one issue has been the stability of our living arrangements and I've had to move frequently this year due to stbx's stalking of us.

Sometimes it amazes me how backwards the court gets it. LOL

But I'm trying, and everyday I don't get something with the court seal on it is a good day.