What age do you let your children start brushing their own teeth? - Page 2

[lonegirl]

I have given him a toothbrush to "chew" on since about 5 or 6m (first teeth in at 3m) Around 18 months he started experimenting with "brushing" Around the time he turned 3 (Nov) he started brushing in earnest. I do a once over for him at night esp. He also brushes his tongue (he brushes when I brush mine so he models me)

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

I did a few searches for this beforehand, but didn't quite find what I was looking for.

So my daughter's just about to turn five in a couple of days. Her dad has been insisting that she should be brushing her own teeth by now. I've always had great teeth and so has she, so far - and I wanted to keep them that way! So I've always brushed her teeth for her until now. Obviously, she does have to learn how to brush them properly eventually.

We took the leap, and she loves it! She feels much more grown-up now. But I'm having the hardest time watching her miss some of her teeth, or not brush for very long... I've been giving her tips, of course, and lots of encouragement.

So what age did you let your children start brushing their own teeth? And did you still go over them afterwards for a while, or just let them figure it out?

TIA!

My daughters are 4 and 3 and both regularly brush their own teeth. I occasionally assist the 3 year old because she mostly sucks the water out of the brush and doesn't actually brush the teeth. Sometimes I remind my 4 year old to not forget the back teeth, the insides edges of her teeth and make sure she does both the top and bottom teeth. I maybe do that once every couple weeks or so since they are both so big on doing things by themselves. They'll figure it out and they try their best and they do make progress. I find myself having less to remind my 4 year old about the past 6 months or so. My 3 year old still has no focus and ends up talking to her 'friends' (reflections in the medicine cabinet mirrors) or attempting to bathe in the bathroom sink if I leave her alone for too long.

[Lilypie32]

My son just recently started wanting to brush his own teeth. He does not do it well at all so after he is done, I rebrush them thoroughly. It gives him the control to do it himself yet I get to follow up. He loves doing it and doesn't fuss when it's my turn.

[redpajama]

We brush our 5-year-old's and our 3-year-old's teeth for them at night, and they brush for themselves in the morning.

[MomOf3boyz]

To help our children feel more empowered we always brush first. When we are done, we let them go in and finish to make sure that mom or dad didn't miss anything.

For us this helps them learn the technique and it helps us make sure that their teeth are really clean.

We stopped doing this for our first child when he was 5 or so, and will probably have to start letting our DS (who is now four) do his own once he hits pre-k in the fall.

[MissCleo]

Hi everyone, this is my first post, really glad I found this site.

My DD is nearly 3, and I was wondering how all you mamas who brush their kid's teeth for them actually manage to do it? She'll swish the brush around a bit and spits really well but will not let me brush her teeth for her at all. I've tried making it a game and everything i can think of but she just clamps her mouth shut if I try it.

How do you actually get them to physically hold their mouths open so you can maneuver a toothbrush around in there? I certainly don't want to traumatize her over it. We have the same issue with hair brushing too, unfortunately. Thanks for any help you may have.

[lmk1]

Originally Posted by MissCleo

Hi everyone, this is my first post, really glad I found this site.

My DD is nearly 3, and I was wondering how all you mamas who brush their kid's teeth for them actually manage to do it? She'll swish the brush around a bit and spits really well but will not let me brush her teeth for her at all. I've tried making it a game and everything i can think of but she just clamps her mouth shut if I try it.

How do you actually get them to physically hold their mouths open so you can maneuver a toothbrush around in there? I certainly don't want to traumatize her over it. We have the same issue with hair brushing too, unfortunately. Thanks for any help you may have.

Brushing teeth and brushing hair are very different. One is a necessity, the other good to do, but not a necessity. There are several trick to brushing teeth. Give her one toothbrush and while she's brushing her teeth, brush them with another one. Give her your toothbrush and let her brush your teeth while you brush hers. Tell her you're looking for wild animals in her teeth..."oh there's the zebra, open wide, I'm going to get the zebra" or tell her you're going to get the sugar bugs. Tell her to say "AHHHH" - and make the sound with her. Make sure she sees you brush your teeth regularly and open your mouth really wide so she sees the technique for brushing molars and the inside of the teeth. Get a children's sonicare brush so while she is brushing her teeth or in the few seconds you are, you get more out of it - and even if she clamps her teeth on it, her teeth are still getting benefit from the brush. Make sure you don't put too much toothpaste on, so she's not gagging from the foam while you're brushing her teeth. I used to have to hold my ds to brush his teeth, but he has had cavities since pretty young, so I was more concerned about that - now he's quite ok with my brushing his teeth (some days are better than others) - but he still really likes to do it himself. Not all techniques work all the time, but overall we get a good brushing in and we do it 2 or 3 times per day.

As far as hair brushing, I was one of those kids that really hated to have my hair brushed. I have thick very easily tangled hair that always hurt when someone would try to brush it. If this is the case for your dd, maybe try some gel/conditioner to detangle, and then experiment with different brushes and combs. For my hair now, I use a wide tooth comb...maybe even take her to the store and let her pick her own brush/comb. Also, now I show my ds how I brush my hair, and I let him brush it for me, then I give him his comb, and he tries to brush his hair himself. So, maybe just doing it together will help too.

[Cascadian]

I did a thread here about some personal hygiene issues incl. tooth brushing, a month ago - very interesting and varied responses.

We defintely brush our 4 and 6 yr olds' teeth. DH is almost OCD about it (his belief that lots of health issues start in the mouth with bacteria and decay). They get a good, long brush and floss from him every single day, 2x each. We do let them brush their own teeth after as well as part of teaching, but we know too many little kids who have had horrible, painful cavities and traumatic experiences at the dentist with drilling and tooth removal. Our dentists are thrilled with our kids' teeth and says that they get exceptional care, as they often see lots of problems from poor dental hygiene.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by MissCleo

Hi everyone, this is my first post, really glad I found this site.

My DD is nearly 3, and I was wondering how all you mamas who brush their kid's teeth for them actually manage to do it? She'll swish the brush around a bit and spits really well but will not let me brush her teeth for her at all. I've tried making it a game and everything i can think of but she just clamps her mouth shut if I try it.

How do you actually get them to physically hold their mouths open so you can maneuver a toothbrush around in there? I certainly don't want to traumatize her over it. We have the same issue with hair brushing too, unfortunately. Thanks for any help you may have.

If they didn't want me to brush their teeth for them, I wouldn't. It's all about respect. My girls will never learn to do things for themselves if I made them let me do it for them. That is just such backward thinking to me. We learn my trial and error. We learn from our mistakes. If I didn't let my girls brush their own teeth, how would they every figure out how to hold the brush, how to reach all their teeth, etc? They'd just expect me to do it for them and they'd never have to use their little brains. This is how I feel about a lot of things when it comes to teaching them through experiences.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by lmk1

As far as hair brushing, I was one of those kids that really hated to have my hair brushed. I have thick very easily tangled hair that always hurt when someone would try to brush it. If this is the case for your dd, maybe try some gel/conditioner to detangle, and then experiment with different brushes and combs. For my hair now, I use a wide tooth comb...maybe even take her to the store and let her pick her own brush/comb. Also, now I show my ds how I brush my hair, and I let him brush it for me, then I give him his comb, and he tries to brush his hair himself. So, maybe just doing it together will help too.

One of my daughters has very thick, straight hair. The other daughter has very fine, curly hair. I use coconut oil to condition their hair. I do not shampoo their hair. I use dove conditioner sometimes, maybe once per month, on their hair if I ask them if I can and they say yes. We shower together and my daughters want to do everything by themselves. So, they'll have me put the conditioner into their own hands and they'll rub it in themselves. Then I tell them to stand under the water and close their eyes and use their hands to rinse it out when they're done. I use a lot of verbal instructions and answer all their why questions all the time. Why do we use conditioner? Because it makes your hair soft and helps get out the tangles so it won't hurt when we brush your hair later. Why do we rinse it out? Because if we don't, it will make your hair all sticky and dirt will get stuck to it. I love their why questions and I love their interest in knowing how and why things are the way they are. My youngest hasn't liked to have her hair combed or brushed for most of her life. I don't do it if she doesn't want me to. This means months go by without brushing/combing. The best way to get it done is to get her curly hair wet, condition, run a comb gently through it, not to get out tangles, but to get it to line up straight while it's wet so after it dries, the curls get less tangled. When it's dry, I use a wet bristle brush. Water really helps and keeps the frizz away as you brush. I also hold the hair close to their head, and start from the botom of the hair so if there is resistance, she doesn't feel it since I'm holding her hair with the other hand. With my youngest, the dramatic leo, I play games about it and follow her lead. If I accidentally catch a tangle, and she says ow, I scold the tangle and say, 'you can't hurt fia's head, stop that you tangle, I won't let you hurt her, I'm gonna brush you gone so you can't hurt her anymore!' and Sophia giggles and lets me do it. By teaming up with her against the tangle, there isn't a conflict between me and her over brushing or not brushing.

[waiting2bemommy]

Ds is 2 and he brushes first and then I do it for him.

We have a toothbrush with flashing light on the tip that flashes for a full 2 minutes when squeezed....so, ds gets to squeeze it and then brush til it stops flashing, then one of us goes back over it.

We also have rule that if he stops brushing and starts just eating the toothpaste, the toothbrush goes directly to mommy or daddy. It only took a couple times before he started brushing in earnest and he actually does pretty good. But I always, always go behind him and brush again.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

My youngest hasn't liked to have her hair combed or brushed for most of her life. I don't do it if she doesn't want me to. This means months go by without brushing/combing.

There are a lot of kids that this simply would not work for. If I go 2 or 3 DAYS without combing my hair, it's a horrible mess to undo later.

I get the point about respecting your child's body, but at some point I think we get to pull the trump card as parents when it's in their best interests, and IMO personal hygiene is one of the things that's in their best interests. I can see not forcing a certain hairstyle on a child, but I would not allow my young child to decide not comb her hair or brush her teeth for months on end. To me it's no different than her deciding she is not going to ride in a car seat, or wear a coat in the winter, or take a bath.

In fact someone I know fought so much as a little girl about getting her hair combed that her mom decided not to make it battle, and when she finally decided she was ready to get her hair done (for something special) a few weeks later, it was so matted and gnarly that it had to be cut off. MUCH more devastating than just getting her hair combed for 10 minutes every morning, especially since it took years to grow back out again. At some point the parent's common sense has got to override the dissenting opinion of the child.

[~PurityLake~]

Oh well, I guess I don't find perfectly straight lock of hair as important as you do.

And her hair doesn't get all matted and gnarly because I do run my fingers through it, as does she, during the times she rejects the brush. And as I said, we shower, it's clean, I don't use shampoo on their hair, ever, many moms and people do not. I think perhaps you are picturing something that is not our reality. Or you think social conformity is a good thing.

I also don't see how you compare car safety with pretty hair.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

Oh well, I guess I don't find perfectly straight lock of hair as important as you do.

And her hair doesn't get all matted and gnarly because I do run my fingers through it, as does she, during the times she rejects the brush. And as I said, we shower, it's clean, I don't use shampoo on their hair, ever, many moms and people do not. I think perhaps you are picturing something that is not our reality. Or you think social conformity is a good thing.

I also don't see how you compare car safety with pretty hair.

lol, I didn't say perfectly straight hair OR pretty hair. My friend has two daughters with gorgeous wild hair, but I would say half the time their hair is not "done pretty"....doesn't mean it's not pretty hair just because it's "unstyled!" I just went based on what you said which was that you allow her to go months without brushing or combing her hair. And that really truly might be OK for HER hair. I'm just saying that doing that would not be practical for everyone, because for many people (I'm trying not to make this a race/cultural thing ) hair that goes that long without an actual implement applied to it WOULD be matted and gnarly, and definitely would have an unpleasant smell to it simply because of sweat and body odors not getting thoroughly rinsed out with a quick finger run-through in the shower.

I know some kids can get by like that and that's perfectly OK. I'm also not implying that your dd's hair smells I'm just saying that it's not practical for everyone and in that case I think even though I do respect my child's body I would HAVE to put my foot down and insist on her getting her hair combed out whether she liked it or not. And I DO see personal hygiene as important as personal safety, yes. Pretty hair & matching outfits, not so much, but basic hygiene & grooming, yes.


And FWIW I still have the same bottle of shampoo that I bought back in October....I use conditioner, but not shampoo, very often, and then only a very little. And ds' hair is buzz cut because he doesn't like it washed, lol. He doesn't like getting it cut, either, but I told him it was one or the other . His hair gets stinky QUICK.

[Aubergine68]

Originally Posted by MissCleo

Hi everyone, this is my first post, really glad I found this site.

My DD is nearly 3, and I was wondering how all you mamas who brush their kid's teeth for them actually manage to do it? .

We take them for dental visits from about 2 years on, mostly just tooth counting and an introduction to dentist's offices and dental care at first. The dentist explained to my 2.5 year old that his hands are not ready yet to clean his own teeth properly and he needs lots of practice and a grownup to help him. After that, we had no problems. All my kids were very impressed by the authority of the dentist, I guess. If he has a cool chair like that, he *must* know what's what

ETA, we also talk about plaque (aka "sugarbugs"), with visual aids found online and reinforcement from the dentist, so our children knew from a
young age that they were brushing to remove plaque. My youngest asks me to check for him -- "Are my teeth shiny? Are the sugarbugs all gone?" when we brush.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by Aubergine68

ETA, we also talk about plaque (aka "sugarbugs"), with visual aids found online and reinforcement from the dentist, so our children knew from a
young age that they were brushing to remove plaque. My youngest asks me to check for him -- "Are my teeth shiny? Are the sugarbugs all gone?" when we brush.

That's cute. We don't call it sugarbugs, but my daughters do ask me if their teeth are all shiny and offer to let me smell their breath when they're done brushing.

[Sharlla]

about 8.

[Theoretica]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

My daughters are 4 and 3 and both regularly brush their own teeth. I occasionally assist the 3 year old because she mostly sucks the water out of the brush and doesn't actually brush the teeth. Sometimes I remind my 4 year old to not forget the back teeth, the insides edges of her teeth and make sure she does both the top and bottom teeth. I maybe do that once every couple weeks or so since they are both so big on doing things by themselves. They'll figure it out and they try their best and they do make progress. I find myself having less to remind my 4 year old about the past 6 months or so. My 3 year old still has no focus and ends up talking to her 'friends' (reflections in the medicine cabinet mirrors) or attempting to bathe in the bathroom sink if I leave her alone for too long.

This is pretty much what we do too!

My almost 2yo will lay down on the bed so we can take turns and tickle her teeth, and she wants to do it 'by herself' more and more so By 3-4 my kids have all brushed their own teeth with me doing 'tickle checks' (although I adore the sugarbugs idea...stealing it!) every few days or so. We also don't really do 'sticky' sugary foods, so maybe that helps, but I'd rather a whole childhood of decent brushing than make a horrid battle out of it from day one.

Also re: the hair: I've got one kiddo who has REALLY thick, curly, frizzy hair. It's obnoxiously gorgeous! We wash it with diluted shampoo about once a week and use conditioner. Any more frequent washing than that and it's unbelievably frizzed out and unmanageable (umm like mine!). We also have the story about the yucky tangles and how we like to make them go away so they don't bother her, but again I'd rather set her up for a lifetime of enjoying her personal care skills than make them a huge battleground from day one. We've also found that she's fine with her dad playing 'beauty parlor' and washing her hair, but heaven forbid *I* do it, so that's fine.

My other kids have thick straight hair with zero frizz. We wash it when it's not clean anymore, so depending on playing intensity that could be a couple days or longer than a week. I think my kids' hair would fall apart if we washed it more frequently though, it would get so dried out and brittle!

Oh and I'm totally trying the coconut oil for conditioner too! Great idea!

[mkksmom]

Our dentist says she should do it once and we should do it once, so that's what we do.