Very stubborn nearly 3 y.o. fighting sleep

[Ambivalent Dreams]

We are co-sleepers. Since birth, I have rocked DD to sleep. Then I go and lay her down in the "big bed" until I come to bed soon thereafter. Maybe 6 months ago, she stopped falling asleep when I rocked her and would say "I want to go lay down in the big bed." No problem. I'd go lay her down and she'd go to sleep. I'd come to bed later.

Now, she won't fall asleep when I rock her and when she says "I want to lay in the big bed" but when I put her there, she won't go to sleep. She gets up out of the bed and comes crying down the hall. I've tried laying down with her, but she just uses me to stay awake - she plays with my hair or talks to me and won't settle down. I've tried rocking her longer - even for over an hour, but she squirms and fights and won't sleep.

Every time she gets out of the bed, I put her right back in, but we can't keep her in the bed. Finally, the other night we put her in crib. She finally went to sleep, but not until after a lot of crying. I would never, ever, ever let a baby cry like that, but what else can I do will a nearly 3 y.o. who refuses to sleep? To boot, I am pregnant and want to go to bed right after I put DD down, but we both end up staying up later due to the fighting and crying.

I hate this. What can I do?

[rzberrymom]

What is your bedtime routine?

Is she still napping? That's the age some give up napping and then have trouble falling asleep at night if they *do* take a nap (just not tired enough).

Whenever I'm not able to get DD to sleep, we switch things up and have DH lie down with her at bedtime--just that change seems to reboot her and she forgets to fight sleep. Other things that really work are playing a cd of bedtime music for her to fall asleep by and leaving the door open with bright lights on right outside the room.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but locking my child in a crib and letting her cry it out would likely create a horrible association with sleep for my kiddo, even though she's not a baby anymore. This kind of thing would set us back even more and make bedtime really something to fear.

Hopefully, someone else will have some ideas!

[Katie T]

My ds is almost 3 1/2 now but has been fighting sleep since he was around 2yo. I lay with him to get him to sleep ans somedays im in there for over a hour and he never naps. He will squirm and talk quietly to himself, anything to keep himself awake. I have found telling him sweetly that if he isnt quiet and holds still Im leaving him to fall asleep alone will eventually do the trick. Once he is still and quiet for as little as 2 minutes he is out.
If he senses Im getting upset with him or he hears it in my voice it just makes him keep going all the longer. Hope you figure something out that works for your family.

[Ambivalent Dreams]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but locking my child in a crib and letting her cry it out would likely create a horrible association with sleep for my kiddo

I am worried about this kind of thing. It's just I was at my wits end and neither DH or I knew what else to do. Even if it is not setting up a negative association with sleep, I just hate it and don't want to do it.

She does still take a nap, but she seems sincerely sleepy by 7:30 or 8:00. On days that she skips a naps she is really hard to handle. I guess I could try skipping the nap, but it seems like she still needs it. If we didn't put her down for a nap she's ready for bed by 6:00. DH isn't even home from work by that time on many nights.

I've tried laying there with her and telling her to be still or I will leave. She usually either ignores me and keeps moving around or immediately starts crying.

Sigh.

ETA: I forgot, somebody asked about our bedtime routine. We eat supper then give her a bath. We let her run around with her towel on for a few minutes, then dress for bed. Then we read a story. Then we rock in her room until I take her to our bed.

[Ambivalent Dreams]

Just bumping this post to see if anyone has any ideas or experience. I think that even though she gets a lot of sleep, she has no ability to cope with being overtired. I think I need to work on making sure she goes to bed a little earlier. Earlier nights seem to go more smoothly.