2 1/2 afraid to poop **UPDATE POST #27** - Page 2

[QuestionGal]

Tonight is Thursday. after 3 full days of no poop he finally pooped again. It was drama-ful but at least it happened (right?)

The bath seemed to be the right stimulus (though not always). It was a complicated mess of pulling him out of the tub or him pooping in the tub then draining & refilling it amongst many tears. He kept asking to be in the pull-up (which is why we'd pull him out of the tub). Anyways... my points are:
1) he pooped
2) next time I'm putting him in a swim diaper before starting the bath....that way he can feel comfortable pooping.

[MissRubyandKen]

Dd went three days also, she finally went this morning. Sorry to hear your ds' didn't go smoothly. That is a good idea about the swim diaper. A bath has worked to stimulate dd's pooping more than once, but she's never really happy about it either. If it starts in the tub the mess freaks her out. So I haven't even tried the bath/massage thing for awhile, even though it does seem to sometimes get things going. Dd's happened first thing this morning, she was still in her diaper. It was really soft, as it has been since she's been cleared out. But it wasn't much. I'm thinking after three days there should have been more. We're very fortunate though because at least she wasn't unhappy about it. I'm hoping she'll go again smoothly tomorrow. Please, please, please.

Oh and I did find two more foods that I can hide the mineral oil in- chocolate ice cream and yogurt. Both dairy, but this didn't change her poop from being soft, so that's okay for us. I haven't tried the peanut butter yet, mainly because she hasn't had any yet. I'm sure she's big enough for it now though, so I think I will. Gosh I hope she gets past this soon. I so hate giving her that nasty oil. She won't eat anything with flax oil in it. I tried that first. Can't blame her, I think its nasty tasting myself. She's been really healthy and I haven't had to give her any type of medication or anything aside from this issue. Sigh.

[hibiscus mum]

DD went through the witholding too. Big hugs for you, mama, because I know how difficult this can be.

DD would say the same thing, "My bum hurts." Which meant she had the urge to poo, but she would hold it in. We tried a variety of things, including bribes, but what eventually worked was putting the portable DVD player in the bathroom for her to watch a Dora video.

We also made a big deal when she did finally poop, and both me and DH would have to "come see it." Oh, another thing we do (courtesy of Everyone Poops), is when she says she needs to poop, we say, "Oh, let's see if it's a big elephant poop, or a little mouse poop, or a two-humped camel poop."

I hope things improve for you soon.

[Anastasiya]

Oh, we went through this for MONTHS - nearly a year - with dd. It was miserable. She would cry when she had to poop, I would cry, my mother would cry. She was in so much pain.

It started with a few painful poops, which we later linked to a dairy intolerance on her part. But those painful ones started the nasty process of withholding, and she'd poop just one or two times a week. It was awful. She would withhold and withhold until she just couldn't anymore, and her poops would start out so dry and hard and large that they would tear her anus (they softened as she'd get them out). She had her first hemorrhoid at 18 months.

Those were terrible days.

We had no choice but to give her laxatives, suppositories, fiber, you name it. Nothing really helped long-term because we didn't know it was dairy, and only once we finally cut out dairy were things looking better in the consistency of the poop. It was softer and more manageable.

But we kept up with the benefiber and laxatives (the key was being consistent) and we gave her the occasional suppository when it was warranted, and gradually, slowly, she learned that not all poop hurts. I think she was on laxatives for about 6 months. That's how long it took for her to develop a "soft poop" habit and realize that pooping didn't have to hurt.

It was a loooong road.

Now she's fine. She does get Benefiber daily, though, and very, very limited dairy.

As for the throwing up, she did that LOTS. When her tummy was upset, her colon full and her intestines all in a knot, her reaction was to throw up. It was very sad, and never helped. She'd cry all day from the pain of withholding and then cry once she knew she HAD to poop because she just couldn't hold it in anymore.

[MissRubyandKen]

QuestionGal- How are things going? Have you seen any improvements? Dd went yesterday, after not having gone since Thursday. It went about the same. She wasn't really happy, but she wasn't upset either. It was really soft. I do think that is helping alot.

[QuestionGal]

YES! He has gone every day for the last 3 days!!! (nothing yet today though). We've found that fibermate (1-2 pills crushed into some food) and 2 tsp of mineral oil seem to do the trick (flax seed oil doesn't work as well). No gas/bloating and the poop is about the right size/texture/amount. The drama comes & goes but overall seems to be declining slightly. I really really really hope this trend continues!!!

ETA: he's in bed now and no poop today. Maybe tomorrow?

We also noticed that his urine was getting dark and gave him some gatorade/pedialyte. I don't know if there is a correlation there but I'm not going to mess with a good thing.

We got the book "It Hurts to Poop" and I am less than thrilled. The story starts out about a little boy who is afraid to poop (good), has tummy aches from holding it in (good), his parents are worried, he goes to the dr (good)...the Dr then tells him a story about a coyote who doesn't keep his house clean (what?) and is controlled by the mess. Then the coyote cleans up his house b/c his parents tell him to (??) and is proud of himself (???)... back to the little boy "Do you want to be in control of your poop? like the coyote was of his mess?" (ummmm?) Here's a list of foods that make poop softer or harder, here's a plan to help you. I'll call in a week. Little boy says "Okay, but I might be on the potty when you call!" end of story.

The story-within-a-story was too much for DS...plus the connection between a messy house and not pooping was too abstract for DS. Also we DO NOT want DS connecting the concept that eating=pooping. He's not much of an eater and would refuse food/drink all together if it would mean not having to poop. We even skip over the page in "Everybody Poops" that says "Everyone eats food...." Most irritating of all was that there was no real resolution. They never talked about the little boy overcoming his fear, or feeling better after he went or ANYTHING. We end up looking at the pictures and making up our own story. We also look at pictures in magazines and talk about what the people are feeling "what is that little boy doing?" "He's crying" "why is he crying?" "His bottom hurts" "oh, what will make his bottom feel better?" "letting the poop come out" etc.

[QuestionGal]

**UPDATE**

Just wanted to update that we seem to have turned a very positive corner

Sunday he didn't go at all

Yesterday, Monday he pooped at Mother's Day Out, and he did it on the potty!! Obviously I wasn't there (bummer) but they said that he was holding himself so they said "I think you need to go potty" and he walked right in, sat down and had this ENORMOUS poop. They said they were shocked that someone so small could produce so much poop. There was no drama AT ALL!!

Today, Tuesday we went to the park to play and he pooped in his pull-up. Again there was absolutely NO DRAMA. We were eating lunch and he said he needed to go poopers on the potty, which in the past has meant "I don't like this current situation, I want to escape and go play with the sink" I asked if he had to go (b/c he'd *just* peed on the potty) and he said No. 3 Minutes later he was playing on the playground and called out "Mama, I went Poopers!"

We've found that he needs 2tsp mineral oil and a child's dose of FiberMate each morning with his breakfast. DH forgot on Sunday and that was the day he didn't poop. Both are pretty tasteless and blend into food well. DS is loving his breakfast smoothies so that's how we get both in at the same time. Other options have been in Peanut Butter sandwich, applesauce, orange juice, oatmeal, yogurt, etc. His poops have been soft, well formed, and totally "normal" looking...not too loose, not to dry.

The unexpected downside has been that my very pee-trained guy has been having daily accidents. I'm guessing that the poop advancement has caused a little pee regression but I honestly don't care. I'll take this situation ANY DAY over the past 3 months of misery.

I also think our new "poop is normal" attitude has helped ALOT. We don't talk about poop or going on the potty all the time. But when either DH or I has to go, we'll hold ourselves similar to how DS holds himself and say "Oh, my bottom hurts" (DS's phrase of choice) "I'd better go let the poopers out so my bottom will feel better and be happy" then we go into the bathroom and go. Sometimes DS comes along, sometimes he doesn't. We also took the book "It hurts to poop" and modified it to work with our situation. basically we just use the pictures to help tell the story and give it the ending we prefer.

I hope this thread helps out the next mama who comes along with the same situation.

[ASusan]

I am SOO glad you found a resolution that works. I am smiling at the image of you and your DH normalizing pooping. My DH is an awesome dad...but I canNOT imagine him holding himself and heading into the potty...

[Anastasiya]

Glad to hear things are looking better! Just an FYI though - I read once that mineral oil when used regularly can cause vitamin deficiencies...can't remember which vitamins, but you might want to check.

Here's one article I found with a quick Google: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...887690,00.html