What can I do? - Page 2

[JTA Mom]

Originally Posted by newbymom05

What?!? A free market, by definition, has no intervention or regulation. If there was truly a free market w/ regards to cc's, you'd be in debtor's prison until the debt was paid off. Thank goodness that's no longer the case, but it's no longer the case because there ISN'T free market capitalism.

Actually, that ISN'T a free market either. Debtor's prisons provide 'free' labor to pay back those companies. In a free market, one cannot have free labor (slaves) and call it free. Even if they are paying back their 'debt' the going rate for their labor is below market value. Meaning, they'd make more working outside of debtors prison than inside.

In a true free market, the business would eat the cost. Same way a consumer would eat the cost of buying a bad product. There's be no suing for recovery of damages, etc. In a truly free market, both buyers and sellers have 'perfect knowledge and rational decision making'.

Ami

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by JTA Mom

Actually, that ISN'T a free market either. Debtor's prisons provide 'free' labor to pay back those companies. In a free market, one cannot have free labor (slaves) and call it free. Even if they are paying back their 'debt' the going rate for their labor is below market value. Meaning, they'd make more working outside of debtors prison than inside.

In a true free market, the business would eat the cost. Same way a consumer would eat the cost of buying a bad product. There's be no suing for recovery of damages, etc. In a truly free market, both buyers and sellers have 'perfect knowledge and rational decision making'.

Ami

You know, I thought about that after I posted

In any event, in a free market taxpayers aren't subsidizing the bad debt of lenders and borrowers, and defaulting debtors/BK's don't contribute to a free market or improve the economy, which is what I was responding to in a pp's post.

Whether a person is paying back the bank or buying more junk at Target via their clean slate, money is still going into the economy. To expect to live beyond your paycheck through deficit spending and then expect the bank to do the same w/ a wash on both sides and no repurcussions...crazy.

[freestylemama]

If we were in your position, we would cut our expenses way down. We would get rid of cable and eating out and buying anything new, etc until we were out of debt. We would sell what ever we had that's worth anything and put it towards the debt. One or both of us would be getting an additional job until the debt was paid off.

A dear friend of mine paid off like $40k worth of debt and put down a deposit on a modest house by working 2 weekend shifts at a bar as a bar tender for like 4 years. She did this while teaching school during the week. It wasn't glamorous and she was tired, but it allowed her family to get in an honest place with their spending and didn't put their burden on anyone else.

I have no idea why your debt was incurred, but as someone who lives in a crappy neighborhood in a small house with old furniture, no tv, one car and no debt, it's hard for me to be too sympathetic towards most American's credit situations. If it's related to medical expenses you should ignore everything I wrote and file for bankruptcy. If it's because of random spending, you owe it to the rest of us to tighten your belt and get another job. I hate to sound harsh, but I have a family member who has to have the finest of everything (furniture, house, clothes, travel, etc.) and she's been bankrupted 3 times. Her situation completely burns me up because we've never been frivolous and she's been able to just do it over and over again.

[Denvergirlie]

$49K is a lot, more so if it's just spending.

Mine wasn't this high, but a few years ago I had $31K in debt and was underemployed, spinning my wheels, living off the credit cards. Not fun, very stressful, sickened and heartbroken at what I had let become of my finances.

I got busy. I created a job for myself with a former employer, started catching up all the other bills I was behind on. It took a year or so to become current with everything. Then I got myself a Dave Ramsey emergency fund, but I kept it at $2600, which was 2 months of bare bones bills as my job was shaky at the time.

I couponed, I learn to cook more from scratch (still working on this), no eating out, cable tv went, I quit smoking. We together worked odd jobs, delivered pizza menu's in the nieghborhood (paid to walk and exercise!), we cleaned 2 office buildings every weekend for almost a year. We dumpster dived! We hauled scrap metal in the truck. We bought storage units that went to auction, we had massive yard sales and craigslist sales. We've eBayed and Half.com'ed a lot of stuff too. I love thrift stores and buying second hand, the thrill of the hunt or a great score.

The debt is gone, in some ways we've had a lot of fun along the way. The satisfaction that I took control of this aspect of my life is the greatest gift to myself. Paying off that debt, I was never so proud to do so.

It can be do-able. I considered BK, but I choose not too.


Finally, another poster mentioned the "Living Like No One Else" (www.llnoe.com) forum, and I would totally recommend if you have any interest in Dave Ramsey and a more focused support community. I am a member over there as well, same screen name. You can also watch a lot of stuff on Youtube as well. Dave R, Mary Hunt, Suze Orman (personal gag..), Gail Oxide (sp?).
You might also be able to watch some episode's of "Til debt do us part". It's a candain show, but good all the same.

If you take nothing else from this wake up call, at least be proud of yourself of facing the facts. It can be overwhelming, and this is a growth opportunity. You have the ability to take control, or continue to let this control you. Best of luck to you and yours.

[SeekingJoy]

OP, did you get the support or guidance you need? Do you have specific questions you were looking for this thread to answer?

[chiromamma]

Done.

[Thystle]

bump



More info?

[velochic]

Originally Posted by Denvergirlie

I got busy. I created a job for myself with a former employer, started catching up all the other bills I was behind on. It took a year or so to become current with everything. Then I got myself a Dave Ramsey emergency fund, but I kept it at $2600, which was 2 months of bare bones bills as my job was shaky at the time.

I couponed, I learn to cook more from scratch (still working on this), no eating out, cable tv went, I quit smoking. We together worked odd jobs, delivered pizza menu's in the nieghborhood (paid to walk and exercise!), we cleaned 2 office buildings every weekend for almost a year. We dumpster dived! We hauled scrap metal in the truck. We bought storage units that went to auction, we had massive yard sales and craigslist sales. We've eBayed and Half.com'ed a lot of stuff too. I love thrift stores and buying second hand, the thrill of the hunt or a great score.

The debt is gone, in some ways we've had a lot of fun along the way. The satisfaction that I took control of this aspect of my life is the greatest gift to myself. Paying off that debt, I was never so proud to do so.

It can be do-able. I considered BK, but I choose not too.

Denvergirlie, that is a really inspirational story! Kudos to you! I'm going to show this to my sister so that she finally sees that it's not hopeless. She filed for the BK that you reorganize and pay back (she could not bring herself to file the one where your debts are dismissed), but she still struggles with it. Thanks for sharing!

[russsk]

OP, could you take out a loan from a credit union or bank to cover some or all of it? We had a lot of debt after I worked a very low paying internship (hoping for that high-paying job...) and DH and I paid for our wedding (living up to everyone else's standards - learned that lesson). We got a loan for about half of it at a decent interest rate through our credit union. We made the minimum payment on that while we threw all of our money at the credit cards. The loan was still incurring interest, but not horrid credit-card compound interest. We paid the cc off, now we're throwing everything at the loan, so that should be paid off in a few months. We have not been nearly as committed as Denvergirlie, but we stopped overspending completely and will never do it again.

[BetsyS]

We also paid off about $45,000 in credit card debt (plus car debt) in a couple of years. It wasn't easy, but we did it.

We still have student loans that we're working on, but it feels really good to have that credit card debt gone. It was like a huge weight was lifted off our chest. There really is something freeing about not owing those companies.

Good luck to you, OP!

[sleepypeanutsmom]

Oh Mama! I'm sorry to hear about this, I can imagine it must feel insurmountable. BUT, you have a number now, you know exactly what the situation is. Now you can do something about it!!

There are lots of great ideas and inspiration here on the Frugality board. Plus, you always have a place to turn for support and new ideas along your journey of getting rid of this debt. I agree with the previous poster who said that you will feel such a sense of accomplishment when you have this paid off. You will grow in ways you would never imagine. Plus, you'll never be in this position again!! It can only get better from here!!

Let us know how you've decided to tackle this debt! We'd love to support you.

You can do this!!

[samanthasmom]

thanks to all the replies....

i had to take a few days to wrap my head around this debt. and a week of sick kids. my dh and i had a long talk about our situation and had to make a plan. it was mostly me having to really get my head out of my ass and see our debt for what it is. i always thought we would just put it on the card and worry about it later. we bought our house in 02 and was planning to sell and use what we made on the house to pay off our debt. i was living in the moment and not seeing the big picture. this was all accrued in about 5yrs. it was never getting my hair done or buying new clothes, it was things like fencing in our yard or having to get the brakes done on the truck and instead of saving up the 800 we would just charge it.
so now here we are. with a 3yr old and a 6 mos old. 47k in cc debt. i am just so disgusted with myself. i could do better for my girls if we didn't owe so much.
so here is what we are going to do....
i called all of our cards and got the rated lowered. now they range from 0-8%and no more spending!!! we are going to save until we pay our mortgage at the 1st of each month and then start on our cc debt. starting march 1st we are going to record all spending each night and then we can see where our money is going.
i guess its a start...

[SeekingJoy]

That is a great start!

If you want to post your budget here, the women on this board have really creative ideas about ways to trim expenses.

[mtm]

you sound like you have good plan. come to the DR thread if you need any budget help.

[MyTwoAs]

Originally Posted by samanthasmom

thanks to all the replies....

i had to take a few days to wrap my head around this debt. and a week of sick kids. my dh and i had a long talk about our situation and had to make a plan. it was mostly me having to really get my head out of my ass and see our debt for what it is. i always thought we would just put it on the card and worry about it later. we bought our house in 02 and was planning to sell and use what we made on the house to pay off our debt. i was living in the moment and not seeing the big picture. this was all accrued in about 5yrs. it was never getting my hair done or buying new clothes, it was things like fencing in our yard or having to get the brakes done on the truck and instead of saving up the 800 we would just charge it.
so now here we are. with a 3yr old and a 6 mos old. 47k in cc debt. i am just so disgusted with myself. i could do better for my girls if we didn't owe so much.
so here is what we are going to do....
i called all of our cards and got the rated lowered. now they range from 0-8%and no more spending!!! we are going to save until we pay our mortgage at the 1st of each month and then start on our cc debt. starting march 1st we are going to record all spending each night and then we can see where our money is going.
i guess its a start...

Great update and it is a great start!! Feel free to post in the "Getting out of debt" thread - while a lot of people there follow Dave Ramsey's plan (http://www.daveramsey.com) - not everyone does. The main benefit of that thread, in my opinion, is to help us all remain accountable to the process.

[BunnySlippers]

You can get the rate lowered on a credit card?
What do you say, who do you talk to?

Congrats for taking the first steps!