Joining you...

[Freedom~Mama]

*deleted for privacy. thanks for the replies!

[mamabutterfly]

Mama, I don't have much advice but just wanted to send some support and say I'm sorry it has been so hard. Your plan sounds decent to me, having a plan for 4 months from now and having the support from your folks once you do move. That sounds like it will be a big help for your girls' transition, too. (I assume they like it at their grandparents).
I don't have any specific advice about telling your girls, but hopefully some of the other mamas here will.

Hang in there, best of luck to you.

[JunipersMom]

So sorry momma ~ its always a bummer when things dont work out. There just isnt a good time to tell the kids -- but I'd do sooner rather than later (unless there is any chance of reconciliation) so your kids have time to process and get used to the idea. Sadness and loneliness will come - then go. Start getting your support system in place now and you will make it through.. give yourself time. Me and my ex lived together (him downstairs and me and the kids upstairs) for about a month before it just got to be too much... but I'm sure we 'could' have done longer if he didnt have family nearby he could go stay with.. which is what ultimately happened.
Best of luck momma - be easy on yourself

[Goodmom2008]

In divorce, it is best to aim for an amicable one but prepare for one that isn't.

It doesn't take much for a divorce to become a warzone. An example, the parents are getting along and thinks that there will be no problem settling this in a fair way. Well, one's definition of fair may not agree with other's definition. And then there's the custody, if he wants 50/50 physical and you don't think the kids can handle it emotionally. Well, there's one battle.

Learn the divorce laws in your state and get a temporary custody order in place before you move out. Because if you try to move out with the kids without one, he can file to have the kids returned to the family home. And if you move out without the kids, he can claim that you abandoned the kids.


Get everything, including support, in writing and signed off on by a judge before moving. Gather all financial information and make copies: tax returns (the last 3 years), copies of all current bank statements (you will want to get that now in case he decides to empty them, not saying he will, but you want the proof of balance in case he does), 401K statements, a list of any assets. Catalog (and photograph) all household furnishings. Make a list of what you take with you and what you left behind. Get statements of all debt. Get your credit report, make copies of his last 5 paystubs. Gather all health, life, auto, house insurance information.

It can be amicable, but you have to leave the emotion out of it and treat the divorce for what it is: A business process.