Sleeping Habbits

[Mawood]

I know it's still way too early but I am interested in your experiences and opinions about baby's sleep habbits. Olivia is exactly three weeks old today. She sleeps in our bed and almost exclusively falls asleep at my breast. We figured since she is so little and that's what she needs (she cries if I just put her down or take her off the breast) we just follow her cue and I am enjoying it too - most of the times My husband and I had been reading about attachment parenting in The Baby Book and very much relate to it. I do want Olivia to be able to fall asleep by herself eventually though and I do want her to have a night time routine where she has an early bed time for herself. I had thought you slowly start this at 6-8 weeks or even later 3-4 months. Now I have been getting different information that if young babies are getting used to being rocked or held as a newborn they will always want it and not be able to fall asleep by themselves. I don't know. Friends I have who have done the same thing with their firstborn and who then had a second child who just couldn't get that much attention naturally and developed better sleep habbits than the firstborns. There is no way I would let Olivia "cry it out" at this age plus I had always thought you can't spoil a newborn you just read their cues and Olivia definitely wants to be held especially in the evening hours.

How do your babies sleep and where do they sleep?

[carmen358]

Skylar is 7.5wks and we have fallen into a sort of routine. It wasn't really planned...it just sort of fell into place. For the first 4 or 5 weeks she wouldn't fall asleep unless she was held and then one of us had to VERY quietly put her down (in our bed between us, sometimes in a snuggle nest, sometimes just on the bed beside me). She would often wake up in 1-2 hours...all night long this would go on and I ended up falling asleep sitting up with her on my chest at least once a night...which made me nervous and I was so tired some nights that I was almost in tears. Then suddenly, completely out of the blue, around 5.5 or 6 weeks, she slept 3.5 hours one night (freaked me out!!), woke up to nurse and then I put her back down beside me immediately and she fell straight asleep for another 3 hours. She has done that routine pretty much every night since! She stays up fairly late and we usually all go to bed about 11 or 12, I nurse her either before we get into bed or in bed. We put her in her snuggle next between us and she sleeps until 3ish, wakes up to nurse and I put her on the bed beside me and she sleeps until 6ish, nurses again and usually back to sleep for another 2 or 2.5 hours. She is almost always wide awake by 9 or 9:30. It's weird how this 'routine' just sort of happened...so we're going with it because we're all sleeping well!!

[Sharlla]

Usually I nurse her and then lay her in her swing. I go to bed and when she wakes up and cries I bring her into our bed where she nurses back to sleep and she remains in our bed the rest of the night. She usually wakes every 2-4 hours to nurse and I usually just nurse her in my sleep. I plan on pretty much always nursing her to sleep. Kids eventually do it themselves but as long as I'm BFing I see no reason to train her to fall asleep on her own.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by Mawood

I know it's still way too early but I am interested in your experiences and opinions about baby's sleep habbits. Olivia is exactly three weeks old today. She sleeps in our bed and almost exclusively falls asleep at my breast. We figured since she is so little and that's what she needs (she cries if I just put her down or take her off the breast) we just follow her cue and I am enjoying it too - most of the times My husband and I had been reading about attachment parenting in The Baby Book and very much relate to it. I do want Olivia to be able to fall asleep by herself eventually though and I do want her to have a night time routine where she has an early bed time for herself. I had thought you slowly start this at 6-8 weeks or even later 3-4 months. Now I have been getting different information that if young babies are getting used to being rocked or held as a newborn they will always want it and not be able to fall asleep by themselves. I don't know. Friends I have who have done the same thing with their firstborn and who then had a second child who just couldn't get that much attention naturally and developed better sleep habbits than the firstborns. There is no way I would let Olivia "cry it out" at this age plus I had always thought you can't spoil a newborn you just read their cues and Olivia definitely wants to be held especially in the evening hours.

How do your babies sleep and where do they sleep?

I think the idea that a newborn-4 month old will get used to needing being rocked and therefore should be trained to self-soothe from birth is flawed in so many many ways.

I really liked the way The Happiest Baby on the Block explained it...as neanderthals we very likely didn't come out of the womb until TWELVE months, but as our brains grew, our bodies began to expel babies younger...so emotionally and physcially we are not really ready to be BORN like other babies in the animal kingom, who can crawl and even walk a few hours after birth.

In fact, keeping your babies swaddled up, surrounded by comforting noises (your heartbeat, white noise) and close to the bossom, is exactly what they need to develop the coping skills they will need to sleep better later. The more a baby is held and cuddled as an infant the more developed their emotional and intellectual sides of their brains become and there for the better they will be at coping with these things later.

DS was a co-sleeper, a night nurser, we swaddled him, he sucked a pacifier, and we played white noise and propped him on his side until he was big enough to tummy sleep...by 10 months he had all the coping skills he needed to fall asleep and fall BACK to sleep if he woke up in the middle of the night without any of those things. He needed to be rocked or swung to sleep until he was about 3 months old, then just patting/burping was fine. Sometimes even at two he needed to nurse til drowziness, and he still needs stories and singing to fall asleep at night at nearly 5, and if he has a bad dream he needs a grown up to hold him until he goes back down, but don't we all need that? I do!

If those friends think a kid under 5 will ever just be sent to bed and be all see ya later, I think they have unrealistic expectations of kids...and it's a little sad to miss out on that special time. But generally, I think co-sleeping, swaddling and rocking to sleep help kids be BETTER sleepers, not worse. They will not always need to be rocked to sleep...or maybe they will and they will grow up to buy a house boat or be a sailor. Who knows? It's not that big a deal to rock a toddler in a rocking chair to help them get drowzy, is it?

My dd nurses to sleep, and at night we swaddle, turn on the static, nurse while rocking and then she goes down tilted to one side. She's the best sleeper I know...consistently sleeps from 9/10pm-4/5am then nurses for a wee bit and goes back down in the basinette right next to my side of the bed (we would co-sleep but DH is a VERY heavy sleeper, comatose like and he has nearly squashed her twice, so now she sleeps in a safer place by still in arms reach) for another 2-3 hours. She falls asleep in the carrier or the stroller or the car seat (any moving seat really), and when awake is the happiest darned baby ever...now most of that is just cause I got lucky with a happy baby that likes to sleep, but it is also because I follow her cues and do everything to help her sleep as well as she possibly can (for someone with such a teeny tiny tummy).

You are definitely doing the right thing by following her cues and your instincts. That other information you have heard is just bad advice, IMO.

FWIW, I wasn't able to dictate the schedule to my child until we started day care at 14 months, but we had a pretty decent routine going by the age of 4 months (not including teething moments), and we were able to manipulate that slightly with blackout curtains and nap adjustments....but NOT in the first few weeks!

[Gray's Mommy]

my first two boys slept at the breast until they weaned. this little one nurses, then pops off to "snuggle" the breast & crashes. he also will sleep without being nursed too. we are up every 2 hours (10 days from birth).

[smokeylo]

Holly at almost 4 wks falls asleep nursing or uddling with boob. we cosleep. i try to lay her down to nap once a day and it usually works, but i won't worry about bedtime for awhile. dd1 only just started falling asleep on her own at 2. my concern is havinh holly able to nap without me being there.

[nola79]

dd likes to sleep ON me. She likes to be either patted or rocked to sleep. ds did the same thing, neither of them like to sleep in a bassinet. I don't really enjoy cosleeping, as I like/need my own space to sleep well, but at this age, at least for my children, it seems necessary. ds was sleeping on his own, through the night, by 5/6 months. I am hoping dd follows suit!
DD is up every 2 hours, sometimes 3 or 4 on me if I wake up to pat her when she starts stirring.

[Lizbiz]

I think just trying to follow your own baby's cues makes the most sense, and in my experience - newborns just like to be next to a nice warm body (preferably with boobs!) . I think if you follow your own baby's cues and add in a little common sense - you'll have a nice routine begin to develop of its own accord in a few weeks or a couple of months. I'd suggest reading some books on infant sleep to get a knowledge base and see what works/doesn't work for you.

I don't think newborns who are rocked to sleep will therefore be unable to sleep on their own later down the road. That said, if you have a newborn who does sleep on their own, or you can encourage that - why not? That way you can have a bit more independence when they are sleeping to shower, cook, clean, relax, whatever. I know I'm grateful #2 seems to do this fairly well, because I have a toddler to look after!

For what it's worth, since this is your first? Spoil that baby rotten . You only get a first baby once, and you'll never forget those snuggles. My baby boy was spoiled and he's a fantastic sleeper. We just started a pretty consistent routine at 7 weeks old or so, and I followed his sleepy cues very carefully. But I held him all the time, and coslept quite a bit.

[jillmamma]

I kept DS on my lap nursing a good part of his first year (he would nap on me and definitely nursed to sleep for a good 1.5 years), and you know what? Now he is 7, and has no problems just getting in bed and going to sleep on his own (yes, we do a routine of bath, pjs, brush teeth, read books, say prayers first, but you get the idea). Same thing with the 4 year old. I say, do what works to get your family the best sleep, and don't worry about it...you will adjust as your child grows and their needs change.

[smokeylo]

I would love some book recs about babies -- I've read a lot about toddler sleep, but not babies!

[mrsfrenchy]

You know, with DD1, I worried for the first few weeks that she would never sleep without being on top of or beside me. I thought I might be creating a habit. Then, without us doing anything, she started sleeping in 9+ hours in a stretch at 7 or 8 weeks. We moved her to her room and she kept sleeping that way.

Now, obviously not every baby is that way, but it just showed me that during the first few weeks (or months even) babies need to feel close to you. Eventually they will be ready to sleep more on their own and in longer stretches. I don't plan on trying to influence her sleep habits until shes a couple of months old--and even then I won't be moving her out of our room until her heart problems are resolved. DH and I are way to paranoid to put her in another room at this point.

[NSmomtobe]

DS falls asleep in my arms (usually after a feeding) and once he is good and asleep, we put him in his crib so that I can get ready for bed myself. Sometimes I even go to bed with DH. Then, when DS wakes up (usually within 2 hours, but sometimes up to 4), I get him out of his crib and bring him into the single bed set up in his room, where I nurse him, lying down. Sometimes we both fall asleep this way. Sometimes he gets restless, so I change him and then nurse him again. Sometimes, like last night, he falls asleep, but I can't get comfortable (my back was killing me!) so I move him back to his crib. We repeat a few hours later. Sometimes he stays in bed with me and I barely notice him nursing and I have fantastic sleep. Other nights, he spends quite a bit of time in his crib, or he is in bed with me but not sleeping (if he is gassy, I pump his legs and/or lay him across my belly--we've both slept that way). I've also had him try to play with me in the night, and I have had to tell him that it's time to sleep until i have fallen asleep. When I wake up he is asleep as well.

My son has been known to fall asleep in the crib, which I think is pretty amazing. I set him in there for safe keeping while I run to the bathroom sometimes, and I have come back occasionally to find him asleep. Also, he often wakes up during the transfer from arms/bed to crib and while he usually starts fussing within a few minutes to be picked up, sometimes he puts himself back to sleep.

[sunshadow]

I say listen to your baby and not the books. My daughter had to sleep with me for a very long time, but now as a toddler she sleeps like a dream. I have to wonder if I had forced her to sleep on her own earlier if she wouldn't have more sleep problems now. We did transition her and get her use to sleeping on her own when the time was right. That started at a year with very gradual process that took months based on when she was ready.

My son now is totally different. He will fall asleep on me, but most of the time when he gets sleepy he gets really grumpy and wants to be put down. He falls asleep after being put down awake most of the time. I can't even believe a baby would do that after having my daughter. So, I figure that sort of advice is for babies like him, not for babies who need a little more cuddles.

[caefi]

I nurse or rock my babies to sleep, then lay them down in the cradle/moses basket. When the baby wakes up, he comes into the bed with us and stays until I have to get up to pee, and then I'll put him back in his sleep space until he wakes up...

I've done this for 5 children now, Matthew is the 6th. We parented vastly different with our first two and began to learn differently with our third. Anyway, what I've found is that the baby will start to sleep longer in their sleep space starting around 6wk (though still not "through the night" and that isn't even a goal I try to accomplish, it's just something that eventually happens). My babies have been around 7-9months before they sleep in their bed through the night. Though, I would still rock/nurse them to sleep at that age.

Somewhere around one my babies didn't want to nurse to sleep, but would still be rocked to sleep and then put to bed. Then, between 2 and 3yo they refuse to be rocked and just want to lay down in their beds to go to sleep. :`( Sad days those are.

I don't think you're spoiling the baby, nor ruining their sleep habits for life by co-sleeping, nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep. Yes, you are setting up a different routine than what people see as acceptable - and they'll often let you know that, too!!! But, if it works for your family and is what you and your SO are comfortable with - who cares about other people's opinions of it?

Follow your baby's cues, follow your parenting instincts and only glean from books what will work within those. You'll only have this child as a little baby for a short time, before you know it they'll be going off to college - and I promise they won't still be co-sleeping, nursing to sleep nor needing you to rock them then!

[Cativari]

All kiddos will eventally sleep on their own. My kids have been "bad" sleepers for the first 18-30 months of their lives and then it gets to be a lot better. Going from waking every few hours to sleeping through the night (or at least not waking anyone else) in a matter of weeks. Most of the sleep when kids are small is dependent on the kid an their personality and nero-development.

Lilith is a bit of a different sleeper then the last two so far. She will fall asleep with the booby but will quickly let go for her burp and then go back down on her own if she's ready if not she'll go down after being held for minutes. This is very new as the others slept with booby in mouth for the first year or so or they wouldn't sleep. I'm really hoping she continues to be a better sleeper then the others. but if she doesn't that's okay too

[Mawood]

Thanks Moms! It is always great to get your reassurance and exchange!

@ smokeylo
A friend of mine loaned me a book that has quite some information about sleeping habbits for babies. Mostly it refers to a hormone that newborns start producing at 6 weeks past the estimated due date. The date is fix even for premature born babies it is at that time line. The hormone is helping the babies with digestion and sleeping patterns. The book is called: Healthy Sleep Habbits Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth. M.D. It refers at different ages in different chapters.

[ratrodgrl]

I do a modified version of the Baby Whisperer, in that I keep to a loose pattern. In the early days, I feed when he wants it but during the day wake him to eat if it's been 3 hours. If he wakes to eat before that, I feed him and readjust when I'm counting the 3 hours from. It's mainly to keep him from getting all his sleep during the day. I also do breast compressions to make sure he's getting the good fatty stuff & not snacking. I either nurse to sleep or carry/rock to sleep, and keep him tightly swaddled for sleep. When he falls asleep I put him in his bassinet on his side ( we have a foam wedge positioner) and turn on a white noise machine. If he wakes, I'll rock him back to sleep and lay him down again. If he wakes again, I just put him in the sling and carry him til he's ready to eat again.

Now that he's older, I play with him after he eats; when he starts to get fussy or yawns I swaddle him up, sing him a lullaby, and walk around til he falls asleep, then put him down. It works well for us, occasionally he'll sleep long enough for me to spend some nice 1 on 1 time with my 4 year old, and it helps me to have a general plan for what to expect. He now goes to bed around 8:30pm and sleeps one 5-hour stretch, then 3, then 2, which is really nice! He just started that a week ago though; he'd been more like every 2-3 hours around the clock before that (counting from the beginning of one feed to the next). He's 3 months 1 wek birth age; 7 weeks adjusted for being preemie.