Wild at Gymnastics Class

[blithespirit]

I have a 19 month old who is very free spirited, a little stubborn, sweet and gentle... My problem is that the gymnastics class we are taking is for ages 18 months-40 months. She is the youngest and I feel like the expectations for the class are not entirely age appropriate for her.

I allow her to be a little free. By this I mean that as we wait for an activity, if she is getting very fussy and frustrated, I will let her go and do another activity (one which the group is not doing). I also don't force her to do every activity because I want her to feel like she has some control over what she does. The teachers have not asked me to reign my daughter in and really I don't care what the other parents think but I'm wondering this...

At 20 months is it something I should expect and require that my daughter learn to be more disciplined, to wait her turn more patiently and to do all the activities in order and as directed by the teacher. I don't want to create a little "monster". My husband went with me today and he expressed the opinion that I am letting my daughter have too much freedom in this structured environment.

Have any of you had a similar situation? How did you handle it?

I appreciate any advice I can get!

[blackbird2]

Hi!

My 20 month old is in a gymnastics class like that and is exactly the same. It's supposed to be fun for her, right? I won't worry about it at all. She'll still learn to do all those "more disciplined" behaviors at the right time. And it doesn't sound like she's causing a huge disruption or anything.

[BetsyNY]

Husbands are so funny.

That age spread is kind of crazy, honestly! The instructors probably haven't said anything because, if they've been doing this for a while, they know that what she's doing is normal.

To do anything else would only result in frustrating the hell out of both of you.

[mamazee]

My older dd was similar, and we did a gymnastics class and I just let her do what she wanted. It's supposed to be fun, right? If a class caused power struggles for a toddler, we'd stop doing the class.

[wytchywoman]

Your DD isn't even 2 yet. I really haven't seen solid patience and waiting for turns skills until about 4-5, and even then a fair amount of kids at that age struggle with that concept. No, I don't think your expectations on your daughter are too low, on the other hand, I think your DH's expectations are too high. The teachers are fine with it and you're fine with it and that's all that matters.

[blithespirit]

Oh my gosh. Thanks so much everybody for your messages. I feel so much better now. I thought it was right for me and for my daughter but I wanted to be sure I wasn't being too loosey goosey. I too think the spread is huge. Thanks to all. Gonna keep doing what is good for my daughter and for me!

[hhurd]

Originally Posted by BetsyNY

That age spread is kind of crazy, honestly!

Yes!

[LauraLoo]

I'm not sure what your situation is, but you may want to seek out a different gym program.

I've had my ds in 3 different programs -- the first when he was just over 2 years old and it was a large class and had a lot of standing in line waiting for his turn. It didn't go over very well with ds, so we stopped going after a few months.

The next 2 programs were/are GREAT -- lots of freedom to move and the instructors kept the kids busy and moving and they expected a wide range of energy levels. Just wanted to point out that there may be a program that's a better fit for your dd.

I do agree that the age span seems a little large at this age. It's more typical to group 6 to 8 year olds than it is to group 1.5 year olds to 3.5 year olds.

[choli]

I wouldn't put a 19 month old into any kind of structured activity. My kids had to interest in that type of thing until they were past 4 yrs old and would not have enjoyed it at all.

[VisionaryMom]

When we've done gymnastics classes at that age, most of the kids go from activity to activity pretty freely. I think it's perfectly fine.

[fbsurvivor]

We have my daughter in a music class at 17 months. The teacher said to let the kids wander and do pretty much whatever they wanted to. I totally empathize, though. My daughter is pretty social and she goes up to everyone, and a lot of the other kids are not like that and their parents restrain them more. My daughter is pretty happy fun kid, until you start restricting her, so I'm kind of battling whether I should give her more limitations that would lead to a temper tantrum, or just do what feels right and let her run free. I also feel like my DH (not in this situation), but in many situations expects too much for my daughter's age.

[sgmom]

I was thinking about this thread about 6 hours ago.

My 17 month old just started gymnastics (her class is for ages 12-23 months), and the over-stimulation was overwhelming. Not only did she not want to participate, but she wanted to run around and explore EVERYTHING (even if other kids were using the equipment). Try to stop her and HELLO TANTRUM!

No child is expected to wait their turn, so if something is being used, then we just go on to something else.

I also have no ideas on how to manage her (and the class is only 20-30 minutes long!). I'm sure she'll take a bigger interest in "doing what the other kids are doing" in time, but right now she's not at all interested in doing what she's supposed to be doing (hanging off the bars, jumping on the mat, placing her hands/feet in the proper spot, etc).

My advice is to breathe. But seriously, to expect a child of such a young age to be more disciplined is not really fair to the child. Hang in there, and it will get better with time. And breathe.

[JoanCrawford]

A gymnastics class is naturally a high-energy activity. That being said, you would do well to set some flexible boundaries and behave in accordance to them.

[sapphire_chan]

I was wondering how someone could be too high energy for a gymnastics class, then I remembered that there's often way too much sitting around in those classes.

How about you talk to the teachers? They'll probably reassure you that wandering around is expected for the younger kids. They may not have mentioned it because you're the only one with a toddler and you've been handling things appropriately. They may have assumed you've taken one of these classes before or talked to other moms who did.

And boundaries are good. Like how about your LO doesn't use equipment another child is on. And how about your LO wears clothes. And, um, climb only on the gym equipment and not on random cars in the parking lot. There you go, boundaries!

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I would probably talk to the teachers to clarify any safety concerns/issues before I figured out the next step. If they thought what you are doing is safe for everyone, then I would say you are doing fine. If they are worried about her safety or the other children's safety, you might need to either try to rein her in a bit or find a program that is a better fit. Depending on the setup, allowing a child to roam in the gym can be dangerous.

[sgmom]

While I agree with the PP, I highly doubt that the children are allowed to roam free in any gym. Even the older children (the ones with experience) are ALWAYS spotted by a parent or the coach.

I don't know about the class that the OP is taking, but the one that my daughter is in is very safe. The problem I'M having is getting her to focus on the equipment, and not just running around with no direction whatsoever. Hang from the bars. Jump on the little spring boards. Do a somersault or something. See those feet on the floor? Step on them or jump from one to the next. Please do not pick them up off the ground as if they're a toy. Climbing equipment is for climbing, not for running under or going through. If someone else is using it, we must either move on to another activity, or wait our turn. Equipment is not to be used by more than one person at a time.

In other words, the gymnasium is not a playground. As free as my child is allowed to be, there are still safety rules that need to be followed. We are there to learn about gymnastics. Not to play in an indoor playground.

This is my problem. But at 17 months old, you CAN NOT expect a child to enter such a fun room and immediately comply to the rules. Once the excitement wears off and your child starts to take an interest in what the other kids are doing, we can only hope that they learn some self discipline (waiting, etc, with our help of course) and choose to take a bigger interest in why we're there.

Personally, as difficult as it is for me (mostly because I'm 6 months pregnant), it's a GREAT outlet for my little monkey. Even if it is a bit chaotic right now.

[claddaghmom]

That's too much difference IMO. I'd argue that she would get more benefit from going to a play group or indoor playground where she can roam and meet new people.

[bobandjess99]

I think the class, with such a wide age range, CAN NOT be age appropriate fo rthe children, because what is age appropriate for a 1.5 yo is not what is age appropriate for a 3 yo. i think the class itself is a horrible idea. It's too big of an age range, period.

Here, at the Y where ds goes, there is a class for 2 yo24-35mo), and it is a "run around and play freely, no waiting" kind of class. Then, for the 3-4 yo, it turns into more of a "class", with the teacher teaching and there being short times where the kids are expected to watch and learn and wait fo rtheir turn, etc. The class for 5 yo is where the teacher starts the real strict discipline. At the parks center, they have a special "playtime" class for the 18-24 mo, and then 24-35 months, then a more structured gymnastics for ages 2-3, and then 3-4. I think both of those ways of organizing the programs are far more reasonable than an 18-40 month class.
At 24 months, dd was able to take the class for ages 2-3 at the parks dept, which did entail some watching and learning and she did fine. Ds is in the 24-35 month old playtime class, and he needs to be..he needs ot be able to run around and just do whatever he wants, and not have to wait. He would have been a terror in the more structured class. But did wonderfully in it. So...i think your option stinks, lol.

[mamaduck]

When I did gym classes with my younger son (a long time ago!) the 18-36 month class involved a lot of freedom, choices, wandering, etc.. and parents just kind of shadowed them and spotted for them while they made their own choices. The "problem kids" were not those who wandered around, they were the kids who were hitting other kids! So maybe my standards are low, but I think that if she's not hitting other kids, then she's doing great! LOL.

Now -- the 3-5 year old class was a lot more structured and there were kids who were clearly not ready for it, who were a distraction to the other kids. But even then -- it wasn't poor parenting that was the problem. It was a simple readiness issue, kwim?

[Shami]

My dd is in gymnastics and it has a wide age range. I have dd sit on my lap and point out when the teacher is talking. I just keep repeating listen to miss so n so. Sometimes I will quietly emphasize certain things in dd's ear while the teacher is explaining. Or I'll say, where is Miss so n so? Is she talking? Let's listen. Ours is set up in an obstacle course so there is very little waiting.
I have to admit, I do get bugged when the parents let the kids wander around when the teacher is explaining something. I don't think they are 'bad' parents, but maybe they just have different standards.

One of the reasons we signed up is so that dd can begin to learn how to be in a class situation. IMO, that means sitting/standing and doing their best to listen to the teacher with A LOT of help from me at this point. Also, following directions is big in my book so that was another reason we signed up. I suppose if dd couldn't do that at all, I wouldn't join until she was developmentally ready for it. I would feel weird letting her roam while the teacher is explaining/giving directions. Our teacher doesn't seem the least bothered by a little roaming.