How is potty training going?

[JMJ]

How do you answer this? I have a lot of friends and family who know that DD goes in the potty but really don't understand EC, so I get this question with some regularity, especially as DD is approaching a year old, and we've been doing this since birth. I feel like this question asks me to put things in terms of results, implying that if progress isn't being made that it's not worth it, and the whole past year is worthless.

In PT terms, DD's been dry all night since a little over a month old, had one dry day in her life around 3 months old. We got down to 3-5 diapers a day for a while, started losing ground around Thanksgiving, totally lost it around Christmas, and are just now trying to rebuild slowly from square 1 right now (1 or 2 catches yesterday).

In EC terms, my baby has had to spend very little time in her life in a wet diaper and almost no time poopy. She figured out at a very young age that she could empty her bladder before bed and go all night. She is good at expressing her elimination needs to me, even if it is after the fact. She is confident that my love for her is not dependent on where she eliminates. We made it respectfully through a potty pause, and DD is now deciding that it is OK to go on the potty sometimes, but only on her terms. I am proud of her for being so self assured. I love our relationship and what EC has added to it, and I'm confident that she will eventually graduate... when she's ready.

[hrsmom]

You could say, "we're enjoying it" "we're learning a lot about each other" or something like that. People may or may not be results-oriented when asking that question, but you don't have to be when you answer. At that age, I just said, "it's going well." You could say, "I really like that....." and mention one or more of the things you mentioned in your post.

I had someone ask me if my dd was potty trained yet (JUST before she ended her potty pause!) at about 16 months old. I took that as a ridiculous/uninformed question. I don't remember how I answered it, actually! I think I said "what?!" and the person reminded me that I'd posted about EC on our local mommy forum. And then just said that no she wasn't!

[kkd]

Originally Posted by JMJ

In PT terms, DD's been dry all night since a little over a month old, had one dry day in her life around 3 months old... She is good at expressing her elimination needs to me, even if it is after the fact. She is confident that my love for her is not dependent on where she eliminates. DD is now deciding that it is OK to go on the potty sometimes, but only on her terms. I am proud of her for being so self assured. I love our relationship and what EC has added to it, and I'm confident that she will eventually graduate... when she's ready.

I think that's very well said! Dry all night is phenomenal, I think- obviously she knows what the potty is for, and does her thing on it when she wants to! My DD does also sometimes pee in her diaper, but lets me know right away that she is wet, and I think that is great. I don't view wet diapers as "misses" or "accidents". I think what you said about your DD being good about expressing her needs is great- to focus on the communication aspect when responding to other's questions as opposed to the results. I hadn't really thought about this yet, since my DD is 8 1/2 months old, noone asks about potty training yet. When I take her to the bathroom, they just assume it's for me to go!

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by kkd

Dry all night is phenomenal, I think- obviously she knows what the potty is for, and does her thing on it when she wants to!

I disagree. My daughter would wake up dry (stayed dry all night) for several months sometime before she started crawling, to just before she started walking, but catches in the potty were a VERY rare occurrence.

But to answer the OP's question, when people ask me how potty training is going I say "I don't know. We don't potty train. But she's very aware of her body and will often pee in a potty if I offer it. If nothing else, it's one less diaper I have to wash or add to the landfill."

And if I get questioned about having her potty trained early, I just say that it's about communication and teaching an awareness for her body's natural functions, and that I try not to allow her to become too comfortable in a wet diaper.

Or if it's someone I don't really care to explain that with (or someone who will poo-poo it and say "Let her be a baby", like my MIL), I would just say "It's going great, thanks for asking!" or (if I don't like the person) "I don't know. I don't potty train", and leave it at that.