At a loss.....DD's eating habits.

[MammaB21]

DD will be turning 4 at the end of March. Lately we've been having an extremely hard time with her eating habits. Looking back now, it's been going on probably her whole life, but it's only now gotten to a point that I just can't handle it anymore.

As a baby she nursed all the time. At the time, I thought it was just normal baby behavior. But she literally nursed all the time. She did it for comfort. I was basically a human pacifire. I eventually weaned her at a little over age 2 and a half because I couldn't stand the constant nursing. No matter what I tried, she just wanted to nurse all day long. Once she stopped nursing for good her eating picked up a lot.

We are currently dealing with multiple problems with food. Things seem to have progressed and gotten much worse. She constantly asks for food. She has a sweet tooth that is unmeasurable. She started by asking for food, taking a few bites, and then asking for something else. All day she wanted this or that. I really focused on teaching her not to be wasteful and only offering her healthy things to eat. She is now actually consuming more. She eats a full meal and immediately wants more food. She complains all day that she is hungry. I wouldn't consider her overweight at this point, but she is at the top of the charts for weight and always has been. She also has a pot belly that appears to be always full.

At first I didn't want to actually limit how much she ate, but instead tried to just focus on good eating habits and healthy food. But it's to a point now that if I don't limit her intake she will just eat all day long. It is a constant battle. The second she wakes up she wants food and it doesn't stop. It really is an obsession and is on her mind all day. She is either eating or talking about eating. I'm so scared that this is exploding and I don't know what to do. I've done everything I know how to do. I've tried allowing her access to whatever she wants (healthy food only) so that she doesn't feel like she will be denied food. That doesn't work as she just eats all day and asks for sweats all day long. I am now trying to do breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. But like I said, it is a constant battle all day long.

It's probably worth mentioning that her dad and I are divorcing. We haven't lived together for over a year and she's with him on the weekends. I know he is pretty strict about food and she always seems starving when she gets home from there. We've moved a few times recently and live with DP who DD loves (but it is a change). I'm also 16 weeks pregnant (which she is thrilled about) but again a big change. I can attribute some of this behavior to all of the emotional changes. I can also attribute some to bordome, as we've been cooped up in the house and I've been sick. I admit she would really benefit from regular activity (more than what we're doing now). But it doesn't change the fact that I really feel like this is something deep within her that she will struggle with for life.

Any advice would be great. I really need a plan. I need to figure out how to not get angry with her after the 20th time she's asked me for candy. I need a plan, and I'm so lost.

[wytchywoman]

It could be that she is obsessed with food because she can control it when everything else seems os out of control. I would be concerned though about the possibility of some medical issues being the cause of this. Have you taken her to a ped over this? Have they checked her thyroid and screened her for diabetes? Constant hunger can be a symptom of those 2 diseases. Also there is a syndrome called Prader-Willi that is based in the hypothalamus gland. Basically people that have it do not have a fullness cue in their body. They can eat until they vomit and still feel like they are starving and haven't eaten because that part of their "digestive" system is missing. Here's a link:

http://pwsausa.org/syndrome/index.htm

At this point I would probably consult with her ped. If it's not caused by a medical issue, then maybe they can refer you to a counselor or child psych that can give you some assistance in helping DD learn how to manage this constant need for food.

[ramama]

I agree with wychywoman. It could be a control thing, but I'd have it checked out with her doctor.

That said, I have a 4yo exactly like that, my DD2. We've been pretty permissive about it, though, because she's still in the 7th percentile for weight, but I fear that the day with come when it all catche up with her. You know, lifetime eating habits and such. Turns out, my DD is simply a grazer by nature, as am I. I'm sure neither of us would bat an eye if we never saw an actual meal ever again LOL. We all have sweetteeth, and with DH being diabetic, we've radically changed what we have available in the house. I do let them have sweets, but after instituting a strict toothbrushing after sweets (as a deterrent to eating sweets) the girls have more often than not decided that it's not worth it LOL. We get fruit bars instead of ice cream, or make our own popsicles out of apple juice. We try to keep cookies and candy out of the house entirely, for the most part. DD2 will ask specifically for something sweet, so I'll offer apples, oranges, bananas, yogurt, or one of those natural fruit leathers, etc. Usually she'll settle on one. I also try to keep a serving tray (ours has three parts) available with grapes, crackers, mini carrots or popcorn available for random grazing, and just put it on the coffee table. DD1 is a big fan of experimenting with different dips, and it really gets her to eat her veggies.

I also want to mention something that perhaps isn't a problem in your house, but certainly is in ours. DH and I have sometimes joked that if that XYZ money doesn't clear the bank soon, we're gonna run out of food or have to eat ramen, etc. Money is always an issue in our house. Invariably, after we say something like that, even in jest, the girls make a major up-swing in how much food they eat, how much they ask for and then don't eat. Just a thought.

Is it possible to talk to her father and work out a food compromise that is less strict that his, and more strict than yours? Eating habits really should be as consistent as possible.

DD2 is kicking me off the computer. This post was probably long enough anyway

[pbjmama]

I agree with the others, get her checked out by her doctor and then follow up with a therapist. Make sure you get several good referral and find someone who is a good fit for your family. You are probably already doing this but make sure you don't talk about her food habits in front of her.

[Cascadian]

I just wanted to remark that my 4 yr old is eating all. the. time. From breakfast to past lunch, she's hounding me for 'snacks' (buttered toast, cheese, yogurt, bananas, crackers, raisins, granola bars, the odd cookie). She's a never ending pit. She's slightly built (her older sister and me are both slight people) - I'm attributing it to a ginormous growth spurt about to happen.

Having said that, for your DD, perhaps this is also coupled with a comfort thing given her family situation.

[MammaB21]

Thanks all for the quick replies. I haven't taken her to the doctor for this yet. We've been trying to find a new doctor to go to, as we have moved and have some insurance issues. I do plan on getting her in for it asap, though. I've thought of the Prader-Willie as a possibility before. Some things fit, like she was slow on her motor skills as an infant and had lower birth weight. But she doesn't have any learning disabilities which usually accompany the illness. Also, for as much as she eats, her metabolism seems to be working. But I haven't thought of diabetes. She has some food allergies as well, so I suspect it could be something medical.

ramama If I keep fruit popsicles in the freezer (which we do have sometimes) it is an issue until they are gone. If she gets one, she wants two. Then she wants another one and another. When I say no, I catch her in the freezer trying to sneak one. A few nights ago she woke up at 6am, still dark out, nobody else in the house was awake. I heard something in the kitchen and when I went to check DD had gotten a chair, pulled it up to the freezer, got a spoon and was sitting on the floor eating ice cream from the carton. It was ice cream that I had just boughten as a treat for her cousin and her the night before. I can't keep food out, it would be gone. She doesn't have a hard time eating healthy foods. She likes her veggies and fruits. It's just more of the constant need to eat.

We don't really talk about money and food that I notice. We aren't well off financially, but we don't go hungry by any means, and food is a top priority so I don't think we ever say anything about not being able to afford it.

I plan on having a talk with her dad. He is opposite of DD. He is very very skinny and easily skips meals without even noticing. When we were together, I swear he wouldn't have eaten a meal if I didn't cook it and set it in front of him. She could actually not be getting enough to eat over there. I know he complains about her being hungry all the time, but I can imagine him arguing with her over every meal.

Cascadian Could be a growth spurt, but she just had one. This seems to be something that is more constant and part of her personality.

[NiteNicole]

I know he is pretty strict about food and she always seems starving when she gets home from there.

I would think that's a lot of it. I've just done a lot of reading on this and one common theme is that if you start restricting food kids will start pushing for more of it. If her dad is strict about food or gives her a hard time about how much she eats, she's probably working through that stress at home with you.

In the past two weeks I've read three books: Raising Fit Kids In A Fat World, Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming, and the No Diet Obesity Solution for Kids. Of the three, I would recommend The No-Diet Obesity Solution. It's a faster read that says all the same stuff as Helping Without Harming. Fit Kids/Fat World is Christian-based.

[mommajb]

Another idea... You mention that you offer healthy choices but if her siet isn't balanced, if she is missing a macro nutrient or a micro nutrient she may be eating trying to get enough of that.

We are vegetarian and my mom commented on this regarding fat and protein. My kiddos seem to eat constantly and between meals I was offering fruit. Healthy, right? Except they weren't satisifed. Once I added more nuts and nut butters to their snacks I saw a marked difference in how long they went between snacks/meals. Well, for everyone but my teenage son but that is a different issue. He is growing so fast he can't keep up.

[MammaB21]

Originally Posted by mommajb

Another idea... You mention that you offer healthy choices but if her siet isn't balanced, if she is missing a macro nutrient or a micro nutrient she may be eating trying to get enough of that.

We are vegetarian and my mom commented on this regarding fat and protein. My kiddos seem to eat constantly and between meals I was offering fruit. Healthy, right? Except they weren't satisifed. Once I added more nuts and nut butters to their snacks I saw a marked difference in how long they went between snacks/meals. Well, for everyone but my teenage son but that is a different issue. He is growing so fast he can't keep up.

This is a good point. She has peanut and egg allergies, so we are limited in what we can offer her anyway. No nuts in this house. DP is pescitarian, so we don't typically have meat in the house either. But we're not health nuts by any means, and I feel like she still gets a pretty rounded diet. She likes fish, cheese, noodles, rice, lots of fruits and veggies. Her protein could be lacking a bit, maybe I'll try and add more of that. She also likes tofu, but we haven't had that in the house for a long while.

NiteNicole I think your right. Last time she came home from his house she ate all night long. Finally I asked her what she had to eat at daddy's that day and she said, "I just had string cheese and juice that was it. I was starvin'." He dropped her off after 12pm, so she should have had breakfast and snack and lunch by then. At least a good, big breakfast. I think sometimes he forgets she's growing and eats a lot of small frequent meals instead of one big one (which he is happy with). But she's only there every other weekend (not sure if I mentioned that yet), so by week two of her being here, I'd think she'd be doing okay.

[crunchy_mommy]

I only briefly read the responses so I apologize if this was already mentioned, but have you had her blood sugar levels tested? I've had a similar issue myself for most of my life, and found out in high school that I had reactive hypoglycemia. What happens is if I eat too much sugar/carbs/etc. and not enough fat/protein, my blood sugar drops super quickly. I have other side effects but one is that I need to eat almost constantly to get my blood sugar back up. I cut out all refined sugar and try to have a lot of fats & protein with each meal & snack and it makes a HUGE difference in how long I can go between meals. I could be totally off-base but I just thought of it since she's constantly asking for sweets & eats little protein. You could try limiting sweets (or making sure she has some protein with the sweets to balance it out) and also adding more protein to her diet in general. (Try beans, quinoa, maybe a little soy, and focus on more whole grains vs. white rice, white bread, etc. because the whole grains help keep blood sugar stable). Also have her eat a bunch of smaller meals rather than a few big ones. You can have a glucose tolerance test done, but it involves fasting, drinking a sugary drink, and having blood drawn at regular intervals (every 1/2 hour for 6 hours for example) and I don't know whether the test is always conclusive (although it was for me). Other symptoms that go along with it are confusion/disorientation, sluggishness, headaches, nausea, etc. between meals. Actually I often wonder if my own DS is hypoglycemic as well (he eats every 15-45 minutes and only rarely does longer stretches) but it's too soon to tell for sure, he may just love BF'ing lol.

[half-pint]

A mother of a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome here.

I will say that it is very rare for a child with PWS to breastfeed well. Those who are successful do it with much much work and the majority never do get there. Poor feeding in infancy and failure to thrive are two of the hallmark symptoms of PWS in the beginning.

Most have pretty significant delays in gross motor, speech, fine motor. My own son did not walk until 2.5 years.

It is worth getting her checked for various things others mentioned and there have been cases of "prader-willi- like" disorders that don't have the same genetic components of PWS.

Also, people with PWS typically do not ever vomit.

[LynnS6]

Definitely look into adding protein. Protein is what helps keep us full between meals.

The other thing that I would think about is giving her is a number of 'snack coupons' every day. (5? 10?) She can turn them in whenever she wants to, but when they're gone, she needs to wait until the next meal to eat. That would give her control.

Finally, I might think about a play therapist for her. She's had an enormous amount of change in the last year or so. All of the things you listed (divorce, move, new relationship, baby) top the charts for stressful events.

[kyndmamaof4]

What do you keep in the house that fosters a 4 yo having a sweet tooth? If it's not there then she can't eat it..ya know? Personally, 2 of my kids eat from the time they get up, till they go to bed...lots of little things all day long, the other 2 could go till lunch unless I make them something. They are all at a healthy weight. I try to keep a snack tray on hand, filled with fruits, veggies, cheese, good for you cereal, cubed chicken breast...whatever your dc likes....I've been doing this foe around 3 years. It gives them choices, and they can eat whenever they want, with out the worry that it isn't calorie controlled. See this thread---> http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=257621


Personally I think it sounds pretty much like typical little kid behavior, and I wouldn't want her to aquire food issues because you put too much emphasis on the fact that she is hungry. A Dr. visit wouldn't be out of the question...but I bet nothing's wrong.