Originally Posted by scottishmommy
If you need "me time" you must, must, must schedule it into your life. Put it on your calendar. Just a few hours a week can be magical. I think in general, men are more receptive to assertive behavior. I don't know how much they notice if their spouses seem overwhelmed. I hope that isnt a UAV, I don't mean it in a sexist way. In other words you need to tell him, "Honey, I want an hour to myself everyday after work, does that seem fair?" Don't just expect him to notice that you need a break.
Yes, yes, yes.
|I have gotten the sense that most SAHMs are on duty all the time and that most working dads have no mental anguish about taking "me time," but I'm not a man. I'm a mom who suffers from that common female malady -- guilt. Sigh. Why is it so hard? Thanks for letting me know that I'm not just being selfish and unreasonable.
This is a good observation.
Part of the problem is that we moms think the dads should be seeing it our way. And I do think they should. I think there needs to be a meeting half way. Moms tend to totally loose themselves to intense parenting. We're very willing to make that sacrifice.
I'm 42 and my youngest is 10 y.o. My perspective from this side of parenting
is that I wish I'd known that there is a high price to be paid for a woman who dives head long into parental sacrifice, and if I didn't want to become completely resentful and bitter I needed to give myself permission
to take a break.
My experience: I didn't need to ask my dh for a break. I needed to value
taking time for myself. Yes, the guys need to man up a lot of the time and be there more. Not expect that they're going to be able to hang with the guys and jam as much as before. Maybe even NOT AT ALL for a while. But both parents need to make changes.