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Luckily, most days are better than this.
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Originally Posted by Birdie B.
 I am sometimes. I went to lunch with my husband and his co-workers the other day, and felt envious of the working moms who looked so polished and sounded so accomplished and exciting. Meanwhile, I was wrangling the baby, who promptly threw up all over me and everything. I couldn't pay attention to the conversation, couldn't contribute, and felt totally out of place.
Luckily, most days are better than this. |
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Originally Posted by Birdie B.
I am sometimes. I went to lunch with my husband and his co-workers the other day, and felt envious of the working moms who looked so polished and sounded so accomplished and exciting. Meanwhile, I was wrangling the baby, who promptly threw up all over me and everything. I couldn't pay attention to the conversation, couldn't contribute, and felt totally out of place.
Luckily, most days are better than this. |
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Originally Posted by Mama~Love
Having to have gone back to work fulltime a fw months ago, no I don't envy working moms. I hate every minute of it, hate that I miss supper & bedtime every night of the week. I hate that DH forced me to do this. I hate DH sometimes because he doesn't want to cut back on things for me to stay home with the kids, that he feels entitled to the "good" stuff.
I make a measly $8.58/hr. Hardly worth me working, if you ask me. |
That sounds really difficult. I hope at some point you are able to quit your job.|
Originally Posted by Birdie B.
Thanks for your reply. I was feeling a little down about that incident, but for the most part I don't have a huge problem with it. I like being comfy at home, and although it was fun to get dressed up for the lunch (I even put on hose, curled my hair and put on makeup!) I am glad I don't ahve to do it every day.
My main envy was how easy it seems for his co-workers to balance their work and family lives, and makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. They have kids AND work AND look beautiful and stylish AND are happy about it - that's where my feeling of inadequacy comes in. They do so much, and I sometimes feel intimidated when I'm with them. That's the part I envy - how they "do it all" and I only stay at home. |
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Originally Posted by Birdie B.
My main envy was how easy it seems for his co-workers to balance their work and family lives, and makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. They have kids AND work AND look beautiful and stylish AND are happy about it - that's where my feeling of inadequacy comes in. They do so much, and I sometimes feel intimidated when I'm with them. That's the part I envy - how they "do it all" and I only stay at home.
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Originally Posted by mambera
Are you serious?!!
The working moms I know with small children (myself included - thank goodness I'm PT right now but I'm going back FT in a few months and not looking forward to it) are all guilt-ridden, sleep-deprived wrecks. Dollars to doughnuts those women were jealous of you. There's no such thing as "doing it all." Caring for a small child is a full-time job and if you want to have a different job then you have to hire someone else to do *your* job of caring for your own kid. Those women aren't doing any more than you are doing. They are just doing something different with the same amount of time. Not necessarily something they'd rather be doing either. |
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Originally Posted by mambera
Are you serious?!!
The working moms I know with small children (myself included - thank goodness I'm PT right now but I'm going back FT in a few months and not looking forward to it) are all guilt-ridden, sleep-deprived wrecks. Dollars to doughnuts those women were jealous of you. There's no such thing as "doing it all." Caring for a small child is a full-time job and if you want to have a different job then you have to hire someone else to do *your* job of caring for your own kid. Those women aren't doing any more than you are doing. They are just doing something different with the same amount of time. Not necessarily something they'd rather be doing either. |
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Originally Posted by tessie
I remember on mat leave I was looking forward to a peaceful lunch etc. Ha! Now I just have my boss/phone/email/colleagues interrupting and they can't be distracted with a toy.
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I love this!!
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Originally Posted by momofmine
I love this!!I totally feel ya on being conflicted. I actually envy the moms who aren't conflicted about their choice! Those moms that either know they want to work or know they want to be full-time sahms! I think it's our culture, this time in history, and many many factors. I grew up being told I could and should have it all (as in the Charlie commercials, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, yadda, yadda, yadda). But then when I wanted to have a family, I wanted more than anything to be a mom, and nothing else. I wanted to give my kids what I didn't have. I imagined this blissful and idyllic and peaceful life at home with my kids. Yet having my whole life wrapped around just my kids and home left me feeling like I wanted something more. So, yes, conflict. However, for the majority of the time when my kids were very small, I either did not work at all or I worked very very part-time, like one day a week. I also had a period of time where I worked from home. And looking back now, I am so grateful that I did that and that we had that time. Now, my kids are a bit older, and I work more. Some from home, some away from home, but still only half-time. And there are days when it feels very hectic. But I really enjoy what I do and it is not just a job to make money. Although the extra money is certainly nice. I do feel very grateful to have this situation. But I also believe we can create whatever life we want. You just have to imagine what your perfect day looks like, and figure out what you can do to make that happen. Maybe you can volunteer, maybe you can do some freelance writing from home, maybe you can work one night a week at a restaurant while your DP is home, or maybe you just focus only on your kids now until they are a bit older. I have also realized, as I age, that there are no perfect answers, and you can try on different hats at different times in your life. Good luck! |
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Originally Posted by That Is Nice
It makes me so sad to think I could only have it "all" if I did not give birth to a child. That has been the thing that has brought me down economically, taken away choices, opportunities, and independence.
For instance, if I had no children, in this bad marriage, I could seek a higher paying job in a different state, and no one could stop me, and I could achieve better heights and independence and recover from a bad marriage. With a child, I can't pursue opportunities elsewhere that pay more money and bring more balance with the opportunity. I have to stay where DH wants to be, and he's a real stick in the mud about any sort of progress or change. I've always worked so DH can't comprehend a world where I don't work...that would be too much change for him, and he doesn't want to support that and have all the economic pressure placed on him. |
