HELP! I'm a prisoner in DD's bed!

[catilina]

Forgive me if this has already been asked a ton; I tried to do a search but didn't know how to word it to find what I was looking for. Here’s the deal:

DD is 9 months old. Since she started crawling at 5 months I have co-slept with her on a futon mattress on the floor in her room (and DH has been sleeping in our bed in the master bedroom) because DH can’t get in and out of a bed so low to the floor due to a back injury. Typically, I put DD to sleep on the mattress in her room and then try to “escape” to get myself ready for bed, have some time to myself, hang out with DH, and then I usually start out the night sleeping in our room, in our bed, with my DH. DD usually wakes after a few hours and then I sleep the rest of the night with her. If I try to leave and go back to my own bed (where I sleep more comfortably), she wakes after just a few minutes and screams at the door until I come back to sleep with her. It’s not that big of a deal in the middle of the night because I can just sleep with her. I like cuddling with her even though my back and arms/shoulders get sore from sleeping with her... The problem is that every couple of nights at bedtime, and often for nap as well, she won’t let me leave. When I put her to sleep initially (for bed or nap), she will fall asleep and then a few minutes after I have successfully left the room, she will wake and start screaming. Like I said, this isn’t a problem in the middle of the night, but I am starting to resent it at other times. I need to be able to get out of bed and have some time to myself, and with DH, in the evenings! I can’t go to bed that early! And sometimes I have to get up to pee in the middle of the night! And during the day, as much as I would like to nap with her, I have to take care of my 3 ½ year old.

So I am sure I can’t be the only one to ever have had this problem. What do I do? How can I get her to sleep well even when I am not in bed with her? Is there any hope, or do I just have to say goodbye to my favorite time of day (after the kids are asleep!)?

[bettyjones]

my dd is the same-17 months now. she'lll go down in our bed and then wake. used to be every 40 min. now its longer. don't have much of a solution sorry. its frustrating!

for naps she sleeps in her stroller for an hour or two b/c nursing to sleep for a nap she wakes after 40 min

[honeybunmom]

My now 10 mos old son is like that and my daughter was like that until I transitioned her to her crib at 14 mos. If you don't have a sheep skin (or if you're opposed, check out snugglewool.com) for her to sleep on, I'd suggest getting one of these as it does seem to help my son sleep longer once I've gotten up - if I've been able to get up without him rooting for the boob. I do think the warmth exuded from our bodies - and the lack of it when we get up - is something that our babes get used to and miss when we get up.

[mkksmom]

I do the stroller napping for daytime sleep, but I really don't know what to suggest for night time. Maybe a lovey/transitional object.

[kfillmore]

working on similar here. It is bedtime before I get into bed and often nap too. At night I get her to sleep between 7-8. She sleeps quickly and then I have 45 minutes or so then she wakes up and within seconds is screaming. Then that continues around every 20 minutes, getting more often then less often until I finally get into bed. My nerves are definitely on edge from running in to nurse her in a panic! I just want a couple hours to read or whatever.

We have been working on the Pantley sleep (No cry sleep solution) and that I think is helping a bit for night time. But not the above. It might though eventually.