Siblings present for birth?

[organicmom3]

My kids are 14 (will be 15 in April) and 11. I hadn't even considered this until my 11 year old son spoke up at a midwife appt during the 5th month checkup that he wanted to be right there the whole time. My 14 yr old daughter seems okay about it but not as jubilant as her brother. They have watched the birthing class videos with us and we had them watch the movie In The Womb which has a brief glimpse at a live birth and they were both fine with that.

At this point they both know they can back out at any time and wait in the waiting room if they desire AND they are aware that I coud back out at any time and request they go there...

I'm just wondering what some experiences are. I've not read anything about this...I know it happens...but I can imagine there could be negative experiences as well as positive ones and hope I'm making a good decision here and not just a whacky one giving in to my son's desires??? Thoughts anyone?

[sanguine_speed]

I'm looking forward to having my 8yo, 6yo and 2yo around during the birth, watching if they want to, or leaving with a dedicated person's help if they want to. What a legacy to leave for your kids--showing them the normalcy of birth.

My advice is to have someone trusted nearby to help them deal with anything that might come up, such as they get scared or want to leave or you require a transfer or decide you need to be alone. If you have a partner, you wouldn't want him or her to have to miss the birth to take care of the kids should something arise.

Also, talk with them about the possibility of transfer of care or emergency in advance. Unfortunately, my planned home birth turned into a transfer of care when I had my baby breech at 34 weeks unexpectedly (pre-term membrane rupture caused by I-don't-know-what). The kids were understandably worried when I had gone on about how having a baby is safe, and that we only need to go to the hospital if we're sick or we need extra help...I hadn't paid enough attention to reassuring them that if I did have to go to the hospital things would still be okay.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I think it's wonderful that they want to be there! My kids were 9, 8, and 5 at our hb. They watched TV and went about their normal business while I was laboring in the birth room. DH was there with them and would stop in and check on me. I didn't really "need" him to be right with me. I told someone to tell the kids when I was pushing and they came in but after a few pushed they ran out screaming and lauging cause it was "so gross"! But it was perfect. They were very happy and excited and while they didn't want to watch the gross part, they came in the room right after to see the baby. They were surrounded by family and friends and got to be front and center of the celebration of the new baby.

I think your kids at their ages will do wonderfully. If you have no expectations about how they *should* act, you'll be fine! I think it will become a fond memory for them even if they don't watch the actual delivery.

[organicmom3]

My son is VERY excited about it. My daughter finally told us last night that on a scale of 1-10 , she's at a 6 for wanting to be there....her biggest fear is that it will scare her out of having her own kids someday...I'm thinking if it does scare her, it would only be temporary...at least through her teen years (YAY for me and her dad)....but am I being naive? She does say she really will leave if it makes her uncomfortable...I think I can trust her to make that decision. She's almost 15 so heading out to the waiting room wouldn't be a big deal. We are going to try to have some people we could call....but we live in an area without family and not that many close friends close by as we haven't lived here very long...but we are going to try to have a list of potential people we could call if needed....

[GreenMamma]

My boys were home with me during my labor and then it just so happened when I felt pushy my then barely 2 year old was ready to take a nap, so he did. My 4 1/2 year old watched first from across the room and then when my babe was coming he moved to my husband's lap to watch. He LOVED it! Even 10 months later he says how amazing it was. For our next babe I intend on having my boys stay if they want to, watch if they want, but have the option for whoever is helping take care of them to go out (whether out of the house or out of the room), if they want.

[GreenMamma]

Wanted to add - since they are older, you can give them suggestions for things to do. Like helping make sure you always have something to drink nearby, how to give a hand massage, or something like that.