"I'll be right back" what age to try?

[AlicesMama]

I am now at the door of my DD's room at bedtime's sitting there, reading a book while she falls asleep. I'd quite like to do the "I'll be right back" thing. She's only 22 months so still not understanding everything I say.

Is it too early to try this? How long do you step away for, 2 seconds and then reappear? Is that not quite disruptive? Do you let them cry, at all?

Also, does this eventually help with the night-waking? She still wakes up at least once a night and is so upset that I am not there she is wide awake by the time I get to her (even though it only takes around 30 seconds to get up and get to her). Then she takes over an hour to get back to sleep even though she comes back to bed with me. So I'm still getting broken nights and I'm so ratty a lot of the time.

I am so keen to get this sorted. My DH has issued an ultimatum, get it sorted or no more kids. Ever.

[Nightswimming]

I am bumping this up because I am interested in what others have to say as well. My son is 22 months old too and he does not understand what it means to "wait here for me" yet (or he understands and doesn't want to do it!) - I try it to go use the bathroom and he follows me right out the door!

[TXmom2]

Personally, I'd try it for a few seconds at a time. Every child is different and will react differently.
I don't see it as much different than "peek-a-boo", you are teaching your LO that even though they can't see you, you are still there and will keep returning.
By stepping around the corner and then returning, you will reinforce the fact that when you go away, you will be back. Test your LO's tolerance for that and gradually extend the time away.

I am not doing this with nighttime yet (my LO is not quite 8 months) but I am starting to do it during playtime on the floor or other opportunities. I'll tell her "Mommy will be right back" and step away for a few seconds. She is getting more and more used to the idea and sometimes I can even run to the bathroom (quickly!) without any fussing I always make sure to say "See, mommy's back" when I return.

Good luck!!

[AlicesMama]

Well, just for the record, I paced in and out, brushing my teeth, saying "I'll be right back, go to sleep" etc and she seemed fine with it. Didn't cry once. I can't believe it! I have made sure every night of doing this that she is REALLY tired and physically exhausted. And it seems to have gone pretty well so far.

I am wondering if the difference is because I am going backwards and forwards and the light is on outside so she can still see everything.

It made me hunt for our old night light to see if putting that on overnight would help her go back to sleep on her own (currently I close the door so it's pitch black in the room when she wakes up and I can understand that must be pretty scary to not see a thing). But I can't find it anywhere! So will have to buy a new one tomorrow and hold off on further experiments.

I'd really like to get to the stage where I could say on the monitor 'Go to sleep, Mummy's here' and she'll just drop off again. Or even better, wake up but 'know' somehow everything is OK. Ahhh, one day....she's still very young I know.