Talk to me about "normal" sleep/awake stretches. (please!)

[Beauchamp]

Shouldn't she be sleeping more than a 2 hour stretch right now?? My 8 mo old has been waking at least every 2 hours since she was 6 mo old. (Before that she slept a good stretch on her own, at least 5 hours.) It is really starting to take its toll on us. She isn't comforted if DH simply rocks her, holds her. She wakes up crying and wants to nurse. She'll nurse for ~5 minutes and then unlatch. I don't think she's hungry, just due to the short amount of time. But she does get milk.

WHAT is causing this night waking? She has four teeth fully in already, one just cut through and another on the way. So last night we gave her a dose of Motrin. I have no idea if it helped her pain...but she still woke up every 30 mins to 2 hours all. night. long.

I am exhausted and have reached a breaking point more than once. I am in that awful place between refusing to CIO but feeling like there is no option on the other end besides "this too shall pass", which is so hard to hear.

Help!

[fyrwmn]

i think "normal" varies greatly from child to child. fwiw, my ds is 8 months old too and does much the same as your lo. he wakes roughly every 2 hours throughout the night. i go in to him and we rock and nurse for a couple minutes and then he goes right back to sleep. i've just accepted that that's what he needs for now, no matter how tiring it may be. he doesn't soothe well for dh at night if he knows i'm home, so it just makes more sense for me to be the one to go in. i'm trying to embrace the positives with the situation...we're only up for 10-15 mi usually, i get to snuggle with him and have complete 1 on 1 time which we don't get during the day. i think it was difficult for me because dd was such a great sleeper and ds is such an opposite. not sure how to make it any easier, but wanted you to kno wyou're not alone . i think this is just our lo's version of normal.

[atlantafemme]

My LO did the same thing during the same age range. I too felt desperate for something to change. And then suddenly, at 8.5 months, he started sleeping better--waking only twice a night to nurse and sometimes even falling asleep w/o nursing. Of course, a week later he came down with a cold that we're now managing through the night. But I do believe we've turned a corner. Which is not to say that I think there won't be other corners turned that lead us back down the dark alley of sleeplessness. But I've come to believe that my baby's sleep has very little to do with what we do or don't do. So now I focus on just getting through the hard days/nights and loving the easy ones. Sounds simplistic and not helpful when you're in the trenches but it will get better!

[LadyCatherine185]

We still don't get longer than an hour of sleep at a time consistently with my 18 month old. At 8 months, he was waking every 15-30 minutes all night. I think there is just SO much developmentally going on at that age. 8 months is a VERY common sleep regression time. He started going back to longer (one hour) stretches around 9.5 months, when he started walking.

Besides being devastating to your baby, sometimes CIO doesn't work unless you do it for a LOOOONG time. I personally know of someone who let her DD cio and it took weeks of letting her cry for 2-3 hours + at a time before she finally started sttn.. and she even still has regressions.

Can you do anything to make YOU more comfortable? We got a memory foam mattress topper, and it is SO much more comfy than just our mattress. It doesn't put pressure on your hips (from laying in the same daggone position to nurse!) and really helps me sleep better. Just throwing that out there.... Have you tried seperate sleep spaces? Sleeping in the same bed? Mattress on the floor for DD?

It is so hard Mama, I know.

ETA: I think waking every 2 hours is still within the normal range at 8 months.

[mtbmomma]

My daughter did the same thing around that age. I started picking her up and bouncing her to sleep at her first wake up, instead of nursing her. Somehow this would usually make it easier for her to sleep a longer stretch after that. Maybe because she wasn't expecting nursing? Now that she is 15 months this no longer works at all, but it did work well for a few months.

[teagan01]

My twins just went through that stage, they are 9 mos. For 3 months I was up every hour since they would sleep two hours and need nursed, so draining. Now they get up 1-3 times each and I am thankful for that.

DH would rock the babies first and see if they needed me. It worked for the time before midnight.

[Louisep]

Yes, it was normal for us too from about 5 months until one year. We've been having some really good nights lately, but also revert back to terrible nights (like last night). I never thought I'd make it to having a 13 month old who still wakes frequently at night, but time passes and you get through those breaking points. The only way I'm still functioning is that my DH gives me a lie-in every day. Now that DS is on one nap a day, at the weekends I get at least a 3 hour lie-in! I always lie down with DS for naps and used to make sure I napped (before I started getting long lie ins).

Believe me, I looked into almost every possible reason for the night waking and nothing made a difference. If it gives you any peace of mind, do look into things like elimination diets, they work for some.

It's so hard, I know.

[almadianna]

at this age i was lucky to get two hours, between teething and developmental spurts i was going insane until roughly 14 months.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by almadianna

at this age i was lucky to get two hours, between teething and developmental spurts i was going insane until roughly 14 months.

Ok, scaring me now.


LadyCat, I think we've tried everything...sidecar crib, full cosleep, full crib, part sidecar and part cosleep. We have a king memory foam bed, but side lying nursing is hard on my body no matter what. I usually do it propped up on one elbow, head balanced on my fist. Ow. I have back issues, so I cannot stay on my side laying down (without being able to move and adjust, which wakes the baby up) without shoulder pain almost right away.

I honestly don't know what ELSE to try. I guess stuff her full of babyfood. Sigh. That's the advice I get from all my family.

Seems like every other baby out there is sleeping. Last night was a very
broken 11pm to 6am. I just got her to sleep by nursing because she was cryyyyyying and wouldn't just wake up. Now she's in the bed and every little sound makes her wake and CRY, so I am laying on the FLOOR (to be here so she doesn't crawl off bed) reading MDC on the iPhone.

[Jayray]

My DS (also a June babe) is also having trouble with sleep these days. Sometimes we get a 3-4 hour stretch the first part of the night, but then it's every two hours after that. Sometimes RANDOMLY we get a better night. I don't see any correlation with anything. Usually DH can't settle him anymore--at least I can't wait long enough listening to all the fussing for it to "work."

As for "normal," the Dr. Sear's Baby Book depressingly says that babies 6-12 months old "usually" wake 1-2 times per night. Right. They also typically take a midmorning nap and a midafternoon nap. My babe does take naps around the "normal" times--which is supposed to lead to better night sleep. Whatever. Nothing seems to make a difference to me.

I have hope for the future. I am trying to persevere. I am tired.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I have been trying to give more solids. He seems hungry for them sometimes, but I am a little lazy about it. And he is eating "for real" a couple times in the middle of the night.

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by Beauchamp

Seems like every other baby out there is sleeping.

It is really important that you understand that this is not true.

They are not, I know because at that age mine were not either and if you look through the myriads of posts here on MDC you will see tons of other moms in the same situation. Parents might say that their child is sometimes in public (I know I did because I did not want to hear about what i was doing "wrong") but that isnt necessarily true. In some cases those that say that their child is STTN at this age it is because they are ignoring them in a different room, so if they dont hear them they assume that they are STTN.

While yes, some children may STTN at this age those are rare and far between.

The day that I realized that I was not alone, that I was not a bad mother, and that my child was not "broken" I felt much better... exhausted... but better nonetheless. I also stopped wasting energy trying to "fix" my baby because I realized there was nothing to fix. THat is just the way that they are. Unfortunately...

oh and as I have TOTALLY been there.

[Lilygoose]

Hang in there, b/c as most PPs have said it could be due to the age. My DD, never a good sleeper, was down to 15minute-1/2 hour wake-ups all night long at this age, and my DH and I both work full time, and driving is a large portion of our jobs! I didn't think we were gonna make it. Prior to this the best she ever did was 2-3 hours and that was a good night. Somewhere between 11 months and a year it got better, and we actually had a month or two where she'd only wake-up once or twice, lately (now 16 months) its back to the drawing board though. the last couple of weeks have been tough. I find that getting frustrated and upset only makes it worse. Since I can't change her I have to change my expectations. At that time I think I just let everything go-the house was pretty messy, we ate out alot (something our budget can't really afford), but you just have to let go. Mu hubby would let me catch a couple hours on the weekend, I'd go to bed at 7:30-8:00. Really just do whatever it took to get through that time. It does get better though.