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my little roller coaster

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Oh, mamas! I just need to vent!

I began wondering a couple of weeks ago if I had been dealing with PPD since my son's birth about 18 months ago. Sure I was cranky, but I had always attributed it to lack of sleep - DS was a HORRIBLE sleeper - but I never had any thoughts of harming my baby or even disliking him, so I never even considered PPD. I began putting the pieces together - the irritability, spilling out in full-on rage occasionally (my husband gets the brunt of that, unfortunately), the perfectionism, the persistent little worries, and the loss of joy in my life that I always used to have. After researching and mulling it over, it all seems so obvious, and I absolutely cannot believe that neither hubs nor I picked up on this sooner.

So since I started thinking about it here's what's happened: asked to be the leader for the teenage girls at church (really more of a blessing than a burden - the girls are fantastic and I have several very good assistants who take care of most of the grunt work), three weeks of sickness/snowed-in/car-in-the-shop stir crazy, found out last week I'm pregnant again, two fantastic days following the BFP - so exited and happy, then over the weekend the depression hits with a vengeance and I'm hardly functioning, and then I have to drive hubs to the airport this morning to send him off on a two-week-long overseas business trip he has absolutely no control over.

I know he was so scared to leave me. He made me promise to call and make an appointment to see someone today, but I'm kind of lost. Who should I call? The midwife? I'm 19 months postpartum now (too late to be diagnosed with PPD) and I'm about 5 weeks pregnant, so my first scheduled appt with the midwives is a long way off. I know they would see me if I called, but are they the best people to see? Should I call a psychiatrist? Ugh... I know in my rational brain that if I just called someone, I could figure all this out. I guess I just need to make myself do it. Thanks for listening!

btw - my insurance requires pre-approval for anything behavioral health related. Anybody else have to do this? Please tell me it's not a big deal!
post #2 of 5
Call your midwives. If nothing else, they will help you formulate a plan and (hopefully) hold you accountable for following up on that plan. Be as brutally honest with them as possible, even if that means sobbing through the conversation.

Hugs. You can get through this.
post #3 of 5
Definitely call your midwives. They can help you through the process, even if you can't technically be diagnosed with PPD. And, being seen a little early won't be such a bad thing if you need someone to talk to who understands.
post #4 of 5
I had ppd, was treated for it, and then had depression with a vengeance when I got pregnant againt. It started RIGHT AWAY, I think at 4 or 5 weeks along. Do some research on depression during pregnancy.

I would say, call your midwife and say that you are pregnant and have depression and I bet they'll make you an appt. My midwife wanted to just write me a prescription. I think there is a place for that, but I would rather try something with fewer risks first. That's where you have to do your own research. Having the midwife give you a referral to a psychiatrist could be good.


If you're struggling while your dh is gone, can you get someone else to help you? Do your friends know you're having such a hard time?
post #5 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Mom3 View Post
I had ppd, was treated for it, and then had depression with a vengeance when I got pregnant again. It started RIGHT AWAY, I think at 4 or 5 weeks along. Do some research on depression during pregnancy.

I would say, call your midwife and say that you are pregnant and have depression and I bet they'll make you an appt
Yep - I had the same thing happen. (Only mine is anxiety.) Please see your midwife to talk about your options.

I did take meds during my pregnancy. I know that not everyone can do that, but for me, it was the only viable option. If you can make it through 12-13 weeks, you might feel more comfortable taking meds. (FWIW, dd is 5, was gestated and breastfed for 4 years while I was on Paxil, and is just fine. More than fine. She's great.)
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