Is this normal for a 5yo? (hearing and putting clues together)

[DevaMajka]

Ds1 sometimes doesn't put basic clues together to figure out the answer to stuff before he asks us for the answer.
For example, if I say "I have to pee" and start walking upstairs, he'll say "what?" even though he's *right there* and sees me walking up the stairs (and heard me). There are only 3 rooms upstairs- the bathroom, his room, and my bedroom.

It happens with all kinds of things. We'll tell him to do something that seems obvious, like "put away this toy. It's not safe sitting there" after I nearly trip on it and he sees me. He'll say "what do you mean?"

I'm sort of wondering about his hearing, but I'm more inclined to think that he's just not listening and sorting through the information in his head before he speaks.

Is this normal for a 5yo? Or is it something we should look into further? We're going to get his hearing tested regardless, mostly because "they" say it's a good idea at this age.

[artgoddess]

Sounds totally normal to me. Sometimes I think they are really concentrating very hard on something else, and so the "what do you mean?" is a way for their brain to stall for time, while they catch up to the conversation, because they were concentrating on the sound of that bird out the window when you started talking or whatever.

[fyrwmn]

i vote for it being normal. i kno wthat i tend to say what and by the time dh or whoever starts to repeat the question, i'm already answering it. it's like i say what before my brain has finished listeningto what the question was. drove my parents nuts when i was a kid lol.

[starlein26]

It sounds normal to me too. But if you're worried about his hearing...a simple test would rule that out.

[naismama]

That sounds very much like my 4.5 yo dd. I was concerned enought that I took her to the pediatrician. They did the in-office hearing test that they use to determined whether or not they need to be referred to a specialist. The doctor said she scored perfectly--better than most 4yo's! He seemed to think it's an attention thing, and I tend to agree now that I really watch her. Sometimes she'll be looking right at me, but I think maybe she's thinking about something else other than what I'm saying. Your son's behavior is likely normal, but if you can, you might want to take him in for peace of mind.
Best wishes.

naismama

[minkin03]

I would get his ears checked by an ENT/audiologist just in case. My oldest has/had issues with fluid in her ears and she did the same thing as your DS b/c she couldn't hear. Better safe than sorry imo.

[DevaMajka]

Thanks all
I'm less concerned now, but will likely take him in to have his hearing tested. They do hearing tests this year at school, but I may take him to the BC Health office to get him tested before that, just for more peace of mind.

[limabean]

He may just be engrossed in something else and have a hard time switching gears. Maybe you could make sure that you have his attention before you speak instead of just saying something assuming he's listening. I know my DH tends to say stuff completely unrelated to what we were previously talking about while I'm absorbed in another task, and I ask him "What?" all the time.

[DevaMajka]

Yeah, I'll start doing that. His teacher said that he was very detail oriented, and that he likes to have all the details before he jumps into anything. Makes sense, from what I see of him (he's a bit like me!).
So that just makes it make even more sense that he doesn't immediately get what we're saying. I'm still thinking it's an issue of him saying "what?" before he puts together all the clues. It's almost like it's automatically "what?" after everything he doesn't hear crystal clear, even if he'd be able to figure it out if given half a second.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka

I'm still thinking it's an issue of him saying "what?" before he puts together all the clues. It's almost like it's automatically "what?" after everything he doesn't hear crystal clear, even if he'd be able to figure it out if given half a second.

Yeah, that could definitely be part of it. My 5yo DS sometimes gets into the habit of saying "What" to everything, and when I can tell that the word just pops out of his mouth without him putting any thought into it, sometimes I say, "Can you think for a moment and try to remember what I said?" Usually he can.

[Just1More]

Dd, who is almost 5, also does this, and always has, and worse. We can be talking about something and she just doesn't *get* what I'm saying. Plain English, clues all over the place, and she immediately picks the LEAST obvious answer. It absolutely drives me crazy. Or she will ask me a question that is SO obvious, it's painful to answer it, yet, she's convincingly serious. She's a smart kid, too. She can add, subtract, multiply, and divide in her head, recite/sing LOTS of poems/songs/whole books, read a bit, etc.

A few things have helped her "think it through" first. Last summer I started, "Ask a silly question, get a silly answer." That curbed a lot of it. Fun game, and she started checking herself. (She was asking things like, "Are we having ice cream?" When I had JUST said we were, and had put the container, 3 bowls, spoons, and the scoop on the table in front of her. Uhm, yeah. I would say, with a goofy smile, and a "look" for her to know I was teasing "No, I'm making spaghetti." She'd say, "Noooooooooooooo." Or, "Is that ask a silly question get a silly answer?")

We also play A LOT of logic building games. She honestly does seem to miss social and/or environment clues. So, we talk about things constantly, and I point out why I know something is true or not true. (In so and so's house, they would rather people not wear shoes inside. See, there is a basket for shoes just inside the front door, and all of their guests are in socks. We should take our shoes off, too.) We play mancala and backgammon, and I talk her through strategy. The logic building really seems to help.

For the random "what's", I've declared that rude. If she "what's" me after I've just told her something, I won't answer. She knows that if she didn't bother to listen the first time, and she would like for me to repeat it, she has to take the time to say, "Excuse me, Mama. I didn't hear what you said?" It was a pain for her, and she started listening better. We've also gone through spurts when I would refuse to repeat it, period. She magically started hearing me the first time.