Nightweaning when DS FREAKS when DH goes to him at night?

[curiouscanadian]

That pretty much sums it up. On the odd occasion I KNOW DS isn't hungry and I really need some sleep (ie. he's been up multiple times and has nursed for hours) DH will try to get up for DS. Problem is, DS freaks right out on him. The crying goes up about 5 notches and I get "Mama!! Mama!!" until I end up going in to him and nursing him to calm him down.

I NEED more sleep so was thinking about nightweaning, but how do I do this if DH isn't going to be able to comfort him in my place. Most of the techniques I've read rely fairly heavily on dad taking over nighttime duties in mom's stead. Also, I'm partly afraid that if I still go in to comfort DS I'll end up caving and nursing him anyway.

Oh, I should probably add that we don't co-sleep (one thing DH was adamant about).

[ps4624]

I've been wondering the same thing. We do co-sleep and DD freaks out if I get up to pee! Last night we had an unusual situation - she was nursing non-stop and my breasts were so sore that I just couldn't do it anymore. When she started to fuss, I held her instead of handing her off to DH, and she actually calmed down after a while. I would have bet money that it wasn't going to work, but it did long enough to give me a much needed break (only about an hour, but it was still delicious!)

I'll be watching this thread to see if anyone has better advice!

[D_McG]

DH could never have n/w'd DS (he maybe could n/w my DD because I've always been conscious of their relationship. Much more than I was with my 1st).

Anyway if I were you I would just respond to your child but not nurse him. Cuddle, sing, cup of water. Be calm and reassuring. tell him when he'll be able to nurse next.

It's OK that it's not nursing time. It's OK that he's upset about it. Calm.. calm.. cuddle cuddle.. That's what I did.

[kiwiva]

I night weaned DD without involving DH. He was there (we cosleep), but I continued all the comforting, just without nursing. DD was angry and upset for a few nights but I empathized and comforted her and repeatedly explained that she could have milk when the sun was up.

DD would never have gone for no milk AND daddy. You can do it yourself.

[~savah~]

Originally Posted by kiwiva

I night weaned DD without involving DH. He was there (we cosleep), but I continued all the comforting, just without nursing. DD was angry and upset for a few nights but I empathized and comforted her and repeatedly explained that she could have milk when the sun was up.

DD would never have gone for no milk AND daddy. You can do it yourself.

This exactly every part of it (except we are still in the process). On the occasion that DH did try to help by cuddling DD just get madder. Now I just pick her up and rock her and she goes back to sleep within seconds.

[michelle_mg]

Originally Posted by kiwiva

I night weaned DD without involving DH. He was there (we cosleep), but I continued all the comforting, just without nursing. DD was angry and upset for a few nights but I empathized and comforted her and repeatedly explained that she could have milk when the sun was up.

DD would never have gone for no milk AND daddy. You can do it yourself.

This is pretty much what we did too. i would explain to her that we would nurse again in the morning and from then on sang and rocked her to sleep it took a few weeks but it worked. hang in there you can do it.

[bobandjess99]

Unfortunately, it simply isn't always possible to make everyone happy in a situation. And it isn't always possible to wean gently or easily. Some kids really would nurse round the clock till theyre 4 if you let them. and if that is okay and works for you, great. But many moms at some point find they have needs that are in contradiction to the childs needs, and sometimes you have to compromise. Many children wil take to a change will minimal to moderate /upsetresistance. However, some children really respond extermely poorly with extreme upset/resistance to a change like nightweaning. It's up to you to figure out what works best for you and your child. I will share that with each of my children, ihit a wall where i truly believe my need to NOT have to nurse anymore(and to sleep), outweighed their needs to continue nursing, so we weaned. With dd, who was the most resistant of my kids, I tried and gave in and nursed a little longer a couple times, due to her extreme resistance, which extended our nursing relationship about 9 months longer than i would have liked to have nursed, but the first couple times we tried to limit, her extreme reaction/needs still outweighted my needs...we eventually got to a point where, honestly, I'd have let her CIO alone in a room, had that been my only choice (thankfully it wasn't), because i HAD to be done nursing, or I'd have had a breakdown. At taht point, MY needs were more important than hers. Where that line is drawn for you is something only you can decide.