how do you balance activities/classes when you have more than 1 child?

[lnitti]

I mean, we can't have a class every single night. Right now, dd1 (almost 6) has a class on Saturdays, and dd2 (almost 2 1/2) has one during the week. And those 2 commitments per week already seem like a lot.

I would really like for dd1 to take Taekwando as I understand it should help with body awareness (she is way behind in gross motor development), and with her temper tantrums. But it would be 2 nights per week. I cannot have 4 committed days like that every week (these 2 nights in addition to the 2 commitments we already have). I cannot be committed to going to a class almost every day, I wouldn't be able to feed my kids decent food or keep a clean house, and dd1 wouldn't be able to do her homework, and neither kid would get enough sleep, etc.

How do you handle multiple activities or activities for more than 1 child? Aside from the scheduling, you also have 1 child who gets dragged along for the other child's activity.

[hermionesmum]

My coping strategies include:

1)Sharing the activity run with another family whenever possible.
2)Limiting the number of things the kids do, so give something up before starting something new.
3)Along with older child, get involved as a helper with the younger ones activities.
4) Taking the child not doing an activity that evening to the pub to a) do homework and b) have a hot chocolate and a bit of 1:1 time with mummy.
5) Until this year, oldest dd just turned eight, I would not entertain activities that ended after 6.30, to give them time to get enough sleep.
6) Insist that they have a main meal at lunchtime on activity days so that supper can be something easy.

Good luck

[SunshineJ]

We've been fortunate in that until the past year or so our kids were close enough together that they could usually be in the same class. Now that they're 5 & 7 that's changed. However, they are both usually in 3 activities. This is how we do it. Sunday is Irish Dance. Her class is 1:15 - 2:00, his is 2:00 - 3:00. This is the one time they each have to entertain themselves while the other has class (same location for both). This is where I do like their having their Nintendo DS! LOL! Second class is music lessons. His are at one YMCA location at 6pm on Tues, hers are at another YMCA location at 6pm on Tuesday. DH takes Ds and I take DD and we end up back home around 6:45 (dinner is beforehand). Third class is swimming on Thursdays. Even though they're in different classes I was able to find both classes offered at the same location and time, so they both have swimming at 5pm. The key that I've found to not going nuts is to double up and cross the classes as much as possible.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I have 2 kids. I don't know what I'd do with more. But I do the following:
1. Each kid is limited to 1 sport and 1 non-sport activity at a time. If non-sport meets less than 1/wk, child can also have music lessons.
2. I schedule the two sports classes as close to simultanious as possible and geographically close. So DS has karate from 11:30-12:30 and DD has gymnastics from 12-1 on Saturdays, and they are a block apart. DS can walk from dojo to gym at the close of his class to meet me.
3. The one day DS has karate until 7, DH knows he needs to be home to make dinner.
4. Kid not in activity does homework while waiting for kid in activity, either in lobby/waiting area or nearby library depending.
5. Mommy and Daddy get an activity too -- the kids go to choir rehearsal with us each week and have a sitter there. On that night, bedtime flexes. We'd have a sitter at home and leave them but church pays for sitter for several kids for rehearsals, so its worth it to save the money.

It helps that my kids are 7 and 10, so I don't need to supervise every minute they are in an activity and they can wait for each other with minimal effort on my part. When they were really young I would only do things that I could schedule simultaneous (e.g. swim lessons or gymnastifcs classes where multiple ages were going at the same time with different teachers) or there was childcare or a really good "waiting sibling" area.

[USAmma]

My two girls are 3 years apart. Basically my youngest learned to be happy with tagging along. We were at a different place with her financially, her health was poor, and my emotional health was not so great (PPD). With dd1 we did lots of mom playdate things, library, craft time, etc. After dd1 started Kindergarten we had some make up time with dd2 until she started school. I also had her enrolled in a very part-time parks and rec pre-k program that she enjoyed. I feel no guilt as I was doing the best I could. Both kids are now 6 and 9, and in spite of me spending less time doing activities with dd2, she is just as happy and well-adjusted as dd1!

Currently dd2 takes swimming year-round, and they both have back to back piano lessons. I am in nursing school full time in a fast-track program and spend very little "quality" time with them per say, but I'm always there to tuck them in at night, and once a week I have a sleepover with each kid by herself.

[USAmma]

My two girls are 3 years apart. Basically my youngest learned to be happy with tagging along. We were at a different place with her financially, her health was poor, and my emotional health was not so great (PPD). With dd1 we did lots of mom playdate things, library, craft time, etc. After dd1 started Kindergarten we had some make up time with dd2 until she started school. I also had her enrolled in a very part-time parks and rec pre-k program that she enjoyed. I feel no guilt as I was doing the best I could. Both kids are now 6 and 9, and in spite of me spending less time doing activities with dd2, she is just as happy and well-adjusted as dd1!

Currently dd2 takes swimming year-round, and they both have back to back piano lessons. I am in nursing school full time in a fast-track program and spend very little "quality" time with them per say, but I'm always there to tuck them in at night, and once a week I have a sleepover with each kid by herself.

[Peony]

I have 3 kids but only 2 that take classes right now. 7 year old DD1 is a very active child, she does a number of activities for several reasons, SPD, anxiety and poor self esteem are biggies. She excels at sports though so the rest of us deal with driving her around all the time.

Every day I have a different plan of attack. On Mondays DD1 has two dance classes back to back, I drop her off after school and head home. DH picks her up after work. Tuesday is dance for DD2 in the mornings, gymnastics for DD1 after school. Tomorrow I am a speaker at a group and won't get done in enough time to get DD1 from school. Another mom will pick her up for me and drop her off at gymnastics, yet another mom will take her to her house afterwards for a playdate. She always does this on Tuesdays, in exchange I take her child one day on the weekend. Wed is library day for DD2 and DS, DD1 snowboards after school. I pick her up and take her up to the resort, my dad boards with her and drops her off afterwards. Thursday is gymnastics for DD2 in the morning and DD1 in the afternoon. We all wait at the gymnastics place with DD1 on this day, DD2 runs around with the other siblings waiting. Fridays are a free day, we often ice skate or go to the kid's museum. One of the weekend days, DD1 snowboards all day with DH, on the other day, DD2 and DH go swimming and have their day and I take the child from gymnastics so her mom can get a break (single mom so she deserves it!).

I manage this schedule because I cook in advance often, I NEVER cook at night. The crockpot is my best friend. DD1's school rarely gives out homework, maybe one sheet every 2 weeks and they don't care if she gets it done that night or not. I have to pick up DD1 from school, private school so no bus option, so it isn't that big of deal to swing her by someplace else. It keeps her active, a lot of activities function like OT for her. For how many things I drive to a week, my other two children do not have to wait that long . We start bedtime at 7 so they get more then enough sleep. I work part time from home mostly so I learned long ago how to keep my house picked up and clean with not that much time on my hands.

[mommajb]

My kids are older and cover a wider range (2-13). Some are homeschoolers and others have started school recently. Their interests and classes don't really overlap. I have a big view of how I manage beginning with where we bought our home. We live within walking distance of the elementary, jr high and high school. This means they can get themselves many places many times. She can get to and from swimming and track (meets at the schools) on her own; 4H meets in our neighborhood. Last summer dd1 could ride her bike to the high school for her drama camp. Many times I rode with her and she rode home alone as it ended during nap time for ds2 and dd3. We are also biking distance from the gym where I workout, their gymnastics, the park district complex (soccer and lacrosse), the gaming shop (Dungeons and Dragons). The paper routes they have we live on and are adjacent to our home. Piano lessons are 10 miles away but I try to schedule them so dh can drop someone of or pick someone up on his way to and from work. We do carpool as it works out, the older kids sometimes have to wait 15 extra minutes so I can combine a trip. Everyone takes books to read at all times. We do little activities in the car: dd3 reads to me, we play cards, listen to beautiful cds of history and stories, not just music, she carries pocket fairies, etc. I may walk big kids where they need to be with littles in a stroller even if they can get where they are going on their own and we deal with the to and fro.

Like Peony I almost never cook at night unless it is to prepare for another day. I make meals that can be eaten at various time between 4 and 8 pm. Bedtime comes early for the little ones. The older ones are sent to bed at that time if they are home but I know they are still up. When they get home from school we address their backpacks/folders/homework right away. I don't keep my house perfect but the kids are expected to pitchin if they expect to continue wearing clothes and eating food here. Everybody has daily chores and is expected to pitch in as needed.

I wish things were a bit more bucolic, especially when dh isn't here. Fewer activities doesn't make that happen though. It gives me rambunctious kids. They self entertain well enough but not all the time. It does help that I am comfortable leaving some at home alone or as babysitters but that is a recent development.

[cedoreilly]

I have four but only three do activities. What I do is with my DD for dance, she has them two days a week right after school. I drop her there and my DH picks her up on his way home from work. My DS1 and DS2 have played town sports which are one weekends so we alternate who takes them . With DS1, we have dropped him and then picked him up later if we were in a bind (waiting 1.5 hours at gym for basketball with three kids is NOT fun). With DS2 who is only in pre-school, when he took swimming and/or gymnastics, we did it during the week while the older ones were in school so I did not have to drag everyone with me.

[emaye_to_2]

I've got a 4yo DD and a 6yo DS. Usually only one of them is scheduled for an activity/class at a time with slight overlap. One activity per child is our limit.

[Alyantavid]

Right now, we only have 1 kid in activities. We do try to limit it to 1 activity per kid. Now my oldest is in basketball which means twice weekly practices and 1 game a week. DS2 gets to hang out with Dad while I take DS1 to practice. It's kind of a pain, but much easier trying to keep a 3.5 year old entertained for an hour.

Other things we do aren't scheduled so it's a bit easier to deal with. At some point this spring, the boys will both be doing swimming lessons, then we'll have baseball and golf. I would like to get ds2 into something in between ds1's activities.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by lnitti

I cannot have 4 committed days like that every week (these 2 nights in addition to the 2 commitments we already have). I cannot be committed to going to a class almost every day, I wouldn't be able to feed my kids decent food or keep a clean house, and dd1 wouldn't be able to do her homework, and neither kid would get enough sleep, etc.

How do you handle multiple activities or activities for more than 1 child? Aside from the scheduling, you also have 1 child who gets dragged along for the other child's activity.

My dc are 3 years apart in age. It helped if they could participate in the same activity (rare) or in different activities at the same place and time (often easier to find). Activities they did together - drama group, martial arts, orchestra. Different activities at the same place/time - art school, community recreation centre, swimming.

Another tactic is to schedule their activities on the same night. This works if you have a partner who can take one of them while you take the other. Sometimes one of the kids would go with another family. When they are older, you can just drop them off and pick them up when the activity is done.

But generally, yeah - nutritious dinners were a challenge (but NOT impossible), homework got done early or late or even while waiting for the activity to start, and my house was often a mess. We're pretty relaxed though, so we just learned to roll with it. They had extra-curriculars 7 days a week at one point. It was busy, but they loved it. At some point they decided to gear down, and they don't do as much anymore. That's okay too.

If you cannot have 4 committed days every week, then don't. Easy. Just set your priorities - dinner, homework and clean house. That's all good.

[sweetcheeks]

We have 3 nights during the week where we're off at an activity for one of the older kids (Beavers, gymnastics and swimming). DH and I split things up. He does Tuesday night's activity, which is after dinner, and I stay at home with the younger two and get them to bed. I do Wednesday and Thursday nights' activities. Those days, I try to have a meal in the crockpot or a very easy meal, like tacos or wraps, as DH is a bit of a disaster in the kitchen. He'll have the table set and everything ready to go so we can sit down and eat after we get in the door. DS1 will come along with me to DD's gymnastics class on Weds. and we usually sit and have a chat and play the DS together while DD's in class. Thursdays we have swimming at the Y, DS2's lessons are at 11am and I bring DD along and she sits on a bench on the pool bench and colors, reads books or plays the DS. The older two's lessons are back to back after school. So while one's in lessons, the other child and myself will sit in the viewing area, read books, do a small puzzle or, again, play the DS together. It works out nice since I don't have to drag DS2 along (which would be a *disaster*) and on Thursdays with the swimming lessons set up like they are, I get the opportunity to spend some one on one time with the older 2.

As for the cleaning, I've learned to lower my standards a bit. My house isn't filthy but you'll most likely find toys on the floor or shoved in the corner, random junk thrown on the bookcase and a couple baskets of unfolded laundry sitting out. I have 3 kids and we're busy, my house isn't (and shouldn't be) picture perfect.

[sanguine_speed]

When our 3rd was born, no one did activities for about a year. He was early, had some illnesses and was generally very time-consuming and we just couldn't manage (also no family to help).
Now, the older two have two activities per week and thankfully they have the same things at the same times right now. They both do pottery class together, and they both do horseback riding together. That's Friday evening and Saturday morning. Baby number 3 gets nothin', lol. Well, he did gymnastics with daddy once, and swimming once, but generally we just don't have time and I don't think he misses not having his own classes. We're expecting a fourth in a few weeks and will try to keep the older girls involved in their own activities as much as possible so they can maintain some consistency and normalcy this time around.
We also really value family time and time for relaxing and being 'bored', so I try to be careful not to overdo it. There are friends and family we never see because they're always busy running from event to activity to event and I don't want our kids to lose out on relationships in the same way for the same reason.

[FreeRangeMama]

We have 4 kids (2,4,6,8) and all of them are in activities. I found classes for each of them running at the same time on Sat. morning. There is some overlap, but within a couple of hours they are all done and no one waits too long. The older 3 have a second activity as well (but not the 2 year old), the older ones are in the same clay class in the morn. while the 4 year old has an afternoon dance class on another day so dh can come home on lunch and stay with the other 3.

I personally won't do more than two classes per week and none in the evening as I find it takes away from much needed sleep. They will take week long swim classes in the summer when the other programs are finished as 3 per week is too much for us.