Originally Posted by PinkNFluffy
I can't, I really can't. Everyone thinks we are such a perfect little loving family and we are, he just has temper problems. I just couldn't do that to him, my family would think so little of him.
Hitting you is not just "temper problems".
Read what you wrote here. Everyone thinks you're a perfect family, because you're lying to them. If you tell them the truth
, they'll think so little of him. There's a reason for that.
|And who is going to be my son's father, he won't even live with his daddy. And I will be a single Mom, that would be so hard, I will be so lonely...
Who will be his father? Well, his father is his father - imo, "father" is a biological term (eg. "he fathered that child"). Who will be his daddy? Who knows? Maybe nobody.
Think about this. Do you want your sweet little boy pushing women into walls, calling them "the C word" and hitting them? Your son does not need to be around this, or have this modeled as acceptable behaviour...and as long as he's living in it, that's what it's being modeled as.
My ex was abusive - not physically, because I think he knew that if he crossed that line, I was gone (I honestly wished he'd hit me sometimes, just so I'd know
it was time to leave - I wanted the clarity) - but emotionally. Even without being hit, life was easier
as a single mom, and I was less
lonely. Just food for thought. Oh, and my son from that first marriage? He has a stepfather who has helped him with his homework, volunteered as a Cub Leader for three years, taught him to ride a bike, worked out how to attend out-of-town Gymnastics championships, hugged him when he's down, given him advice when he needed it, and just generally let him know that he's a priority
. That same stepfather has let ds1 know that his mother (me!) is also a priority
...that I deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, concern and love, and that my feelings count. And, ds1 has had a few girlfriends - and has treated them all with respect, honesty, concern and love. He's generally a nice kid...but he also knows what he's seen