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How do you really feel about impending birth?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
For those of you who are first-timers (and those not too!), what feelings do you get when you think about the labor and birth that's coming up? I'm super EXCITED but also quite nervous, almost like before going on a rollercoaster, or before a big performance. Butterflies-in-your-stomach feelings. I'm also an L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I imagine all different scenarios and am affected as well by things I see happen to my patients, who then surface in my dreams for weeks if the case/birth is particularly disturbing or otherwise sticks in my brain...

I've had lots of dreams about the birth, where I reach down and pull the baby up after the head is born. I also had two dreams about C-sections, but so far those have been in the minority, which as a homebirth-planner is A-okay with me!
post #2 of 27
I think my feelings are similar. This will be my second child but -hopefully- first vaginal birth. So I'm like a first-timer but with some extra baggage. I'm excited about it because I hope it will go much better. I'm excited to be doing it at home, with people who are on the same page that I am. But I'm very nervous as well.
post #3 of 27
Im very excited. I know I must be delusional but I cant recall any pain with my last birth, I mean I KNOW there were points where it hurt but I cant recreate the pain in my head, I cant for the life of me remember what it felt like and it was only 2 years ago yesterday Maybe thats natures way of making sure you go on to have more babies ?!

I just really hope that this baby remains in a good position and everything goes to plan just like it did with DS. His birth was easy, so if its anything like that I know I'll be OK.
post #4 of 27
I hope this birth is like DS's, except at home.

I'm excited about this birth. I'm THRILLED that we're even pregnant, considering we waited 2 1/2 years to get pg, and I'm just really hoping he decides to stay put until it's safe for him to arrive (36wks according to my mw since I'm a multipara). That's only 5 1/2 more weeks, so he better just be a little patient!

I don't remember the pain being awful with DS's birth, just exhilarating. Knowing that every contraction was bringing me closer to meeting my son was so powerful and amazing. I actually really love giving birth. I've never felt more powerful or feminine in my life all at once. It's amazing. Creating, sustaining and then delivering a new life? Unbelievable. I don't care how that baby got out, we're all super heroines.
post #5 of 27
I'm just really going to need someone to remind me during pushing that it's just a question of finishing pushing and then I get my baby. I lose sense of time during pushing, and completely forget that there is a baby coming out. Whoops. You think I'd be better at this by now...
post #6 of 27
I have to admit to feeling a little panicy which always happens around this time. I don't mind labor but I do remember the pain. I have, unfortunately, a very vivid memory for pain. I think it might be the third degree burns I got when I was about 7. I can still remember that pain! But I also remember that it ends, and feeling so high once you're holding the baby. It's a very awesome moment (not in cool but in powerful). And the panic always goes away once I'm actually in labor.
post #7 of 27
I'm super, super, super, super g**d*** f******g excited!! Enough expletives for you? I imagine that I don't know what I'm getting myself into, being a first timer, but I'm really not nervous for labor. I'm just really excited and ready for her to be here, even if there are 8 more weeks before she comes. One of the things that I am most thankful for is that I took a Bradley method class with my husband. My class spans 12 weeks (last class is tomorrow ) and of those 12 weeks, all but 3 are about labor. I really feel like we have as many tools for handling labor as first time parents can possibly have. I know it's going to be exhausting hard work, but I am just so ready!
post #8 of 27
Mostly, that I want to be done. I'm so done with being pregnant.

As far as the actual L&D: I've been in labor before so it doesn't scare me. When I start reading birth books, then I can get a bit freaked out, so I've stopped reading them so I don't have to think about the possible complications of a VBAC or (medically necessary) repeat c-sec. I keep telling myself it will be fine and it won't be that big of a deal, and besides, I don't want to be pregnant anymore so the baby has to come out one way or another and it's not worth stressing over.

I think some of my freaking out is coming from other pregnancy annoyances too, like the fact that I'm throwing up more again (it never stopped, but it's worse), and my kid apparently is smooshing my liver or something because it hurts there a lot (we ran some labs last week and everything is fine, thankfully), and the annoying GD numbers game because it freaks me out when my numbers appear to be creeping up for no known reason. Oh, and today I suddenly had a rash all along my chin and lower cheeks and was like oh, no, what's that from, am I having a food allergy reaction? (Could be, or it could be a delayed reaction from the scarf I pulled up around my face this morning while shivering in the cold for 20 minutes waiting for the bus.)
post #9 of 27
I feel excited. So excited, like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas morning.

DD's birth was manageable. I had back labor and I was really tense. This time I think I will be able to totally relax, and the baby doesn't seem to be favoring a posterior position so I'm hoping there will be no back labor or hours of pushing.

I also feel strangely calm and I have no idea why. I'm not anxious about anything birth-related going badly.

My only fear is that the baby will die/be still born which is somewhat irrational considering everything seems fine. I think those fears are left over from my miscarriage. I'm trying to accept that there is nothing about this I can control, other than the environment where I choose to labor and birth and my mindset.
post #10 of 27
I'm excited, ecstatic that I get to have a homebirth, but at the same time I'm terrified of the pain...and freaking out at the thought of homebirth. :-[ I think once I get a contraction or two down, I'll be just fine. It's the anticipation that's killing me!
post #11 of 27
i'm really excited to do it again! this time i'm going to take advantage of the big tub and different positions etc. no epi this time!
with my first I was really excited too... not nervous at all, which was both surprising to me and not at all (I had seen my sister birth three kids - so I figured if she could do it so could I!), anyway I really think it helped being so calm about it, even with being induced i had a pretty great birthing experience!
post #12 of 27
With the spd, exhaustion, irritability, asthma, and now being sick...I don't care what labor is like as long DS its soon! Actually, I'd prefer to not go until March 10 (38 weeks), but after that I'm game.

My biggest fear is a super fast labor. I'm at the point now where I'm not keen on going out without dh just in case the annoying, sporadic ctx turn into something.
post #13 of 27
I'm actually excited. I'm a VBAC and I've already had my worst birth (barring mom/baby dying, of course) and my last pregnancy was a naturally-birthed miscarriage, so I feel like I can take on anything. Even if I have another 50+ hr labor, I can do it, because I've done it before!

Also, I feel so very lucky to have found a HBMW who is so on board with EVERYTHING and to have DH be 100% with me on a homebirth. I'm so blessed.
post #14 of 27
I am absolutely 100% excited and happy! I simply cannot wait to go into labor and birth this child! DD was a scheduled breech c/s, so I never even went into labor w/ her. It is funny the things you excitedly embrace when you have been denied them
post #15 of 27
For some reason I am nervous. I had such a wonderful experience last time that I am afraid I just won't have that again. And it will be different this time anyway, given the fact of no daddy support at all whatsoever, which i suppose at this point is a good thing it's just going to be different. I don't feel like I can totally rely on my support partner b/c she has 5 kids and will have to find care for them before she can come to help me out. I don't know. I am probably just being over...something... sensitive doesn't sound right. Oh well.
I keep trying to visualize how I want things to go and focus on that its just that sometimes these nasty scenarios pop up into my brain.
post #16 of 27
I'm excited and a bit nervous, but mostly I just want to stop thinking about going through labor and birth, and be doing it/ done with it. We had our 3rd childbirth class tonight and after watching yet another video, I was thinking, "okay, okay, there's only so much I can freaking know before I just have to go through it!".
But I also think, in another month or so, I might start getting scaredy...
post #17 of 27
Second child - but first vaginal birth here as well!

I am super excited! I am looking forward to it! Honestly...it is like something I sit there and day dream about!
post #18 of 27
I read everything I could for my last birth, thought everything would come out exactly as planned. But my MW's grew impatient that I was at 42 weeks and insisted on being pushed into labor. So I was in labor for days, which wasn't bad at all. What got bad was when my MW's had me start pushing as soon as I finished transition (MW's should have known better IMO that a desire to push is rather an important part of giving birth). I had no desire to push and no ability to communicate much of anything at that point so I did what they asked. I pushed and pushed and squat happened. There was still a cervical lip and then swelling. I ended up with a C/S after going through transition three times. So this time around I'm going to a birth center with the only other MW within 1.5 hours of me. DH doesn't want to try for another HB in case something happens and I would have to go back to the same hospital. I'm trying to push the fears aside that something will go wrong. Really, I have no expectations except that DH and I will make it to the birth center and I'll have access to a birth pool (best thing for my labor last time). And I've decided no more reading about birth. I talk to my baby and tell him that when he's ready he can come out and no one will try to take over the process for us.
post #19 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by ks3885 View Post
For those of you who are first-timers (and those not too!), what feelings do you get when you think about the labor and birth that's coming up? I'm super EXCITED but also quite nervous, almost like before going on a rollercoaster, or before a big performance. Butterflies-in-your-stomach feelings. I'm also an L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I imagine all different scenarios and am affected as well by things I see happen to my patients, who then surface in my dreams for weeks if the case/birth is particularly disturbing or otherwise sticks in my brain...

I've had lots of dreams about the birth, where I reach down and pull the baby up after the head is born. I also had two dreams about C-sections, but so far those have been in the minority, which as a homebirth-planner is A-okay with me!
I think being an L & D nurse you have a lot to "forget" before going into your own birth. That should be your job in the next few weeks! I think it can be very difficult to separate your L & D experiences from your own, especially when you've never given birth before.

I can say now that I feel like I'm an "experienced" doula I probably have the most nervousness about this birth than any other. This is my fourth baby and I have given birth naturally each time so what should the big deal be, right? But I think I also have the job of letting go of what I've seen in the last few years in order to continue with my own experience.

Try some meditation if you are up for it and maybe look into a birth professional in the area that does some guided imagery or repatterning. I'll be right there with ya!

I think for me this time it will be a homebirth instead of a hospital birth. And while that is SO DARN EXCITING.....I also feel pressure to "perform". Birth professionals that I know will be there! And in the past I always felt like the warrior of the hospital scene since they see so few natural births.

But now I'm giving birth with a group of women that see natural birth every day and I feel like I need to do it super well since I'm a doula! I'm sure they would tell me that is silly and they see all sorts of stuff. So I know it is mostly in my own head but yet it is still there.

I've also had three healthy babies that never needed "intervention" so I'm hoping my time has not come for one who does. Don't feel like having a hospital transfer birth...

I also haven't had time to imagine this little boy that much during this pregnancy. I'm tired, worn out, and just feel like I need to give birth before I have a nervous breakdown some days. So I feel bad for not having all the feelings of super excitement I've had in the past.

Other than all my worries I am so hopeful and excited about this birth being magical in a way. My mother will be in town at my home. My kids will be present for their sibling being born. My husband will be by my side (and hoepfully relaxed...haha) and I will be surrounded by one or maybe even two midwives I trust and value.....let's do it!
post #20 of 27
This is my second birth, and I'm really looking forward to it. DD's birth was challenging, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I really only have two concerns:

1. Finding care for DD (all our friends/family are 7-8 hours away, so I just hope I have enough time for someone to make up here before I need to head to the birth center)

2. Dh and I have had a lot of issues in the past few months-- it's just been a really weird time in our life generally and our marriage especially. We have mostly (but not completely) dealt with it all, but I'm still afraid that I'll have some sort of psychological block in labor (I'm just reading through Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and her chapter on the body/mind connection really got me thinking about this). What we really need is a weekend away just to reconnect before the birth, but I don't think that's going to happen.

So anyway, I'm hoping that the birth is cathartic enough in itself, and I'm looking forward to meeting the baby!
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