Originally Posted by ks3885
For those of you who are first-timers (and those not too!), what feelings do you get when you think about the labor and birth that's coming up? I'm super EXCITED but also quite nervous, almost like before going on a rollercoaster, or before a big performance. Butterflies-in-your-stomach feelings. I'm also an L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I imagine all different scenarios and am affected as well by things I see happen to my patients, who then surface in my dreams for weeks if the case/birth is particularly disturbing or otherwise sticks in my brain...
I've had lots of dreams about the birth, where I reach down and pull the baby up after the head is born. I also had two dreams about C-sections, but so far those have been in the minority, which as a homebirth-planner is A-okay with me!
I think being an L & D nurse you have a lot to "forget" before going into your own birth. That should be your job in the next few weeks! I think it can be very difficult to separate your L & D experiences from your own, especially when you've never given birth before.
I can say now that I feel like I'm an "experienced" doula I probably have the most nervousness about this birth than any other. This is my fourth baby and I have given birth naturally each time so what should the big deal be, right? But I think I also have the job of letting go of what I've seen in the last few years in order to continue with my own experience.
Try some meditation if you are up for it and maybe look into a birth professional in the area that does some guided imagery or repatterning. I'll be right there with ya!
I think for me this time it will be a homebirth instead of a hospital birth. And while that is SO DARN EXCITING.....I also feel pressure to "perform". Birth professionals that I know will be there! And in the past I always felt like the warrior of the hospital scene since they see so few natural births.
But now I'm giving birth with a group of women that see natural birth every day and I feel like I need to do it super well since I'm a doula! I'm sure they would tell me that is silly and they see all sorts of stuff. So I know it is mostly in my own head but yet it is still there.
I've also had three healthy babies that never needed "intervention" so I'm hoping my time has not come for one who does. Don't feel like having a hospital transfer birth...
I also haven't had time to imagine this little boy that much during this pregnancy. I'm tired, worn out, and just feel like I need to give birth before I have a nervous breakdown some days. So I feel bad for not having all the feelings of super excitement I've had in the past.
Other than all my worries I am so hopeful and excited about this birth being magical in a way. My mother will be in town at my home. My kids will be present for their sibling being born. My husband will be by my side (and hoepfully relaxed...haha) and I will be surrounded by one or maybe even two midwives I trust and value.....let's do it!