Lawyer..PLEASE READ

[voilamomma]

SCARED! About to go talk to lawyer about custody and financial responsibilities of my kids.

Im scared my ex is going to blow up when he gets the papers. My stomach is turning.

What do I do?? please help me!

Has anyone felt like this who is going through this??

[Super~Single~Mama]

Talk to your lawyer, you'll be ok. I know its scary, but it will be ok.

[wytchywoman]

It is scary but in the end it will settle down. If he calls you freaking out, simply tell him that you are only willing to speak to him when he can do so calmly and rationally. If he continues to yell, hang up the phone. If he shows up fuming, refuse to answer the door. If you are really concerned for your safety then make sure you have a friend with you when he picks up or drops off the DC. He'll chill out after awhile and if he doesn't then be very sure to let your attorney know that he is harassing you.

[robinchap1]

You might also make it clear that you will not discuss the custody or financial negotiations with him directly. That he can read the papers and respond to your lawyer. It might be best to keep any direct communication between the 2 of you limited to basic day to day stuff concerning the kids and any messy divorce stuff be done only over email or through lawyers. Then anytime he brings it up, just politely remind him that you will not discuss that with him and he can respond to your lawyer, in writing.
Seems like a big pain. But it might save you a lot of stress and fear and make things more smooth around your DC.
Whatever you do, try not to let him see that he rattles you. I know how hard that can be. I don't know anything about your stbx, but it sounds like maybe if he sees he cant upset you or get you to engage, he may calm down because his temper will be of no use.
Good luck and many hugs. I know how difficult and scary and stressful this is. Take good care.

[lilyka]

breath.

yep he will be mad. he will probably yell.

if you need to call the police. if he keeps talking tell him to have his lawyer call your lawyer. if he has questions tell him you will discuss it with your lawyer.

are you serving him with the papers or is the sherif? if you are having someone else serve the papers perhaps you and the kids could go somewhere for a couple of days and turn off your phone. give him a chance to calm down while you are in a safe place and can't get sucked into drama.

s It is so scary but it will be ok.

[Freedom~Mama]

I just wanted to tell you good luck. I know this is hard and scary. I am going through this myself.

[Theia]

I feel your pain on this. I'm in a similar situation. I've made appointments, and I've not made it to one yet. <sigh> I should just get it over with though. The weight of not doing it has to be worse than getting it done and over with.

Thank you for posting this. I hope you are able to see a lawyer soon.