daycare situation. (long) - Page 3

[Lolagirl]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

I think that a shadow is a great idea. And I don't think it's discriminatory. For many kids, stopping them before they can make contact is the fastest way to reinforce that this is unacceptable behavior. At home, it's pretty easy to do that, because you're one-on-one. In a group of kids, it's so hard to catch a biter if you've got 3-5 other kids you're paying attention to. A shadow can fill that roll. And it probably won't take long.

I really agree with this. Both of my boys went through a biting phase around this age, although one was way worse than the other. Honestly the only way I got it to stop was to be on top of him constantly to intervene and redirect him as soon as he started to go after his brother. Shadowing your child is likely the only way that her caregivers can both break your child's biting biting cycle and prevent additional injuries to other children under their care.

Please don't take it personally. I know how upsetting it can be when your child is the one being the aggressor, I often felt like crap that my kids were so aggressive when we tried so hard to be gentle with them and never, ever use corporal punishment of any kind. (I considered myself fortunate that they seemed to save this sort of aggression for one another and never visited it upon other kids, but I know I would have felt even more terrible if they had.)

Aggressive behavior like biting and hitting is extremely common for young toddlers, it doesn't say anything negative about you or your child that this behavior has become an issue at this point. But that doesn't mean that it shouldn't be dealt with and put to a stop.

Good luck!

[TiredX2]

Moved to Toddlers

[elus0814]

I agree with the other posts who say that the other children have a right to be safe even if it means your child is moved to another room or has other consequences. Try to look at it from the perspective of the other parents - their poor children are being physically injured by your child and you are leaving it up to the daycare to take care of it. It sounds to me like it's time to stay home with your child or hire a nanny.

My kids have never bitten and have never been in daycare but I can say with certainty I would be pressing a daycare hard to remove a biting child if my child was on the receiving end of it.

[betsyj]

Originally Posted by elus0814

I agree with the other posts who say that the other children have a right to be safe even if it means your child is moved to another room or has other consequences. Try to look at it from the perspective of the other parents - their poor children are being physically injured by your child and you are leaving it up to the daycare to take care of it. It sounds to me like it's time to stay home with your child or hire a nanny.

My kids have never bitten and have never been in daycare but I can say with certainty I would be pressing a daycare hard to remove a biting child if my child was on the receiving end of it.

The OP is a single Mom with no father in the picture. How exactly can she stay home with her toddler?

Biting happens. I would never dream of making it even harder on a parent with unreasonable demands that they remove any child who bites. She needs help in dealing with it and needs to allow the daycare to shadow her daughter to get it under control.

But to suggest she should just stay home or hire a nanny when that is clearly not an option for her is not helpful.

[marispel]

Originally Posted by Hey Mama!

I've worked in a daycare and biters are common. Having someone shadow a biter is not uncommon either. But, if she is being aggressive at home and you let it go several times before consequences, then at this point she thinks it is an acceptable behavior. I would be offering a consequence every single time she bites or is aggressive at home. Ask to have a meeting with the teacher(s) and the director to work out a plan of action. What will the consequence be when she bites? How long of a period will they give her to stop biting? What will they do if she doesn't?

I agree with this. Every toddler book that I've read says that there has to be IMMEDIATE Consequences for undesirable behavior. It also has to be done every single time. Time outs can be very effective when done properly, but if you do them one time but not the next then you are not setting up proper boundries for your LO and she is confused.